Christmas Shopping, Kindergarten Party and the Misfortune of Duck

I am sorry for my absence from this blog. It has been with good reasons.

For one thing, I have been completely engrossed in reading Pride and Prejudice, which I started a week ago Saturday, and just this afternoon finished. I hope that my writing will not be too affected by the reading of Miss Austen's fine novel, and her refined manner of using the English language. I must admit disappointment upon finishing that there wasn't more to read. On every other account, I am quite well satisfied. Mr. Darcy and Miss Elizabeth Bennet's romance concluded quite satisfactorily, and their happiness ever after was assured.

Now that all that is out of my system, there have been other things keeping me away from my computer in the previous days. I absolutely had to get my Christmas shopping done this week. For the first in three weeks, my husband did not have to travel for business, and he was able to be home with the children for me in the evening so that I could shop kid-free. One evening after returning home from 2 hours of shopping, I wrapped presents for a full 4 hours. That was thoroughly exhausting!

This week was also the "Winter" party for Big Girl's Kindergarten class. The party was my major responsibility, being the homeroom mom. I coordinated the volunteers, and prepared the craft, and fielded the inquiries of the other parents concerning the party. The craft had to be partially assembled for the sake of the kids' ability to finish it in the short time allotted, and I also had to take pictures of each of the children in the class as it was included as part of the craft. As luck would have it, there were 2 students absent on the day I first took pictures, the day of the field trip. I had Big Girl identify her classmates to help me figure out who was missing, and she misidentified one of the boys, so I had several pictures to take this week, and then get them all printed. After getting those printed, I cut them out with my oval-shaped cutters from my scrapbook supplies, and affixed one to each of the penguins which were to be completed by the children. The party was a complete success and I was very pleased to have it all done with within two minutes of the allotted time. The party was to last from 11:15 to 12:15, and I turned it all back over to the teacher at 12:17. Up and down the hallway, the other parties were still going on. Big Girl's teacher was most appreciative to have time for a bathroom break before taking the children out for recess (as if they needed ANOTHER recess!). The best part was that the clean-up was so swift and painless. While a parent was reading a book to the class at the end of the party, other parents were stripping the tables of their butcher paper coverings and the room was returned to its pre-party state with ease before the book was finished.

The most fabulous of this past week's happenings was the celebration of my decade of marriage to my sweet husband. Friday, December 19th, marked our 10th anniversary. While it seems hardly possible that so much time has elapsed since our wedding day, it also is hard to believe that only so little time has passed, as I can't remember life before being married to him. He sent me a dozen roses which arrived mid-afternoon on Friday, after all the party craziness was over. Then my mother took the children home with her and we had a most elegant date. We went to the fanciest restaurant either of us has ever been to, and ate the most expensive meal either of us has ever eaten. I had filet mingon for the first time in my life. I think I can handle that every 10 years! Hubby learned the hard way, and most expensive way, that he does not like the taste of duck. I'm sorry for his being punished for stepping out and being adventuresome. I would rather he be rewarded for it, but the duck had an unexpected twang, and nothing could be done about it. Dispite that, we had a lovely time. It will be cherished memory for us both.

One thing is certain. Even knowing my husband as I know him now, with all the knowledge gained in the last 10 years, I would still marry him without one moment's hesitation if I were to have it to do over again.

This Week, Part 3

The last thing I blogged about was Tuesday, right?

Wednesday was Big Girl's OT evaluation. I took Little Girl to my friend since it was my "day off". I then came home and finished up the paper work for OT that Hubby was supposed to have done a couple weeks ago. (He got a few pages into it and quit.) I fielded a phone call during that time, and scrambled to get it all done. I was nearly late picking up Big Girl from school.

Big Girl was happy to come with me. It was another surprise pick-up. She seems to do better with her school work when she doesn't know something is coming up. When she does know, she watches the clock and doesn't get any work done. There was more paperwork for me to fill out when we got there, and I diligently set about it while BG played in the waiting room. I had told her she was there to play, and she thought that was it. After about 10 minutes, she was totally bored. Poor kid.

When we were finally called back, we went into a room with some more toys while the therapist talked with me for another 10 minutes or so. Big Girl thought that was what she came there to do, and had exhausted the toys in half the time. They were really babyish toys, so I'm glad she wasn't entertained by them very well.

After the consultation, the real fun began. Big Girl thoroughly enjoyed playing with the therapist. They did all kinds of things - swinging on various swings, playing with a ball, wheel-barrow walking, balance beam (4 inches off the ground), drawing, stringing beads, peg-boards and more. Some of it she could do, and some she really couldn't do at all. At the end of it all, the therapist recommended OT every week. For multiple reasons, I'm not ready for that, and we're only going to start going every other week, but not until January.

After the OT evaluation, Big Girl and I went to lunch at Luby's, just around the corner from the OT place. She was in a terrific mood. She had really enjoyed all the things she got to do at OT, and then to get a special lunch out with Mommy was clearly a bonus. We had a lovely time together. I so enjoy spending one on one time like that with her. It doesn't happen all that often these days since she started school. She's a very interesting person, my Big Girl.

After that, I took her back to school, and went home to enjoy my last hour and a half off before Christmas by taking a much needed nap. Half an hour in to my nap, Hubby came home early from work rather unexpectedly. He ended up getting Big Girl from school and Little Girl too, and let me sleep. I ended up sleeping 3 hours! I needed every bit of that. It was like the Sunday afternoon nap I never got on Sunday.

Wednesday night was my night to serve in AWANA, but I was also needed for some choir stuff. So Hubby subbed for me and let me do the music thing, since he's not on the schedule this week, and didn't need to be there for practice. He took the girls home and put them to bed, and I was up at the church until nearly 10 PM. It worked out beautifully.

Thursday was the first Kindergarten field trip of the year. The kids got to go to a local theater and see a Christmas production for kids, and then to the park after for a picnic lunch. Parents weren't invited to come to the theater due to limited seating, but we were encouraged to meet them all for lunch. Little Girl and I did just that. It was a bit later than usual for lunch, and the buses bringing the Kindergarteners were a little late. It all added up to Little Girl's desperate need for a nap long before the play time was supposed to be over. Here's now I know she's hit the wall: she cries about EVERYTHING. Some one bumps her as they run past and it's the end of the world. Her jacket slips off her shoulder, and it's time to cry like the world is OVER. There's no mild irritation with her. It's total overreaction, the sky is falling at every turn. NAP TIME!!!

By the time we got home (the park was pretty close, about a 3 minute drive), there was only time for a short nap. 45 minutes of sleep was all she got. Poor baby. She could have used another 2 hours beyond that! But I had to wake her up to go get her sister from school.

Both of my girls were pretty tired. The field trip had really exhausted Big Girl, and they didn't get their usual rest time at all. We had an OK evening, considering everyone was pretty tired. I even managed to make a dinner that included vegetables.

Friday was a low-key morning with too much to do in the afternoon. Well, one thing out of the ordinary, but it fell at the absolute worst time of the day. I had a rehearsal with a ladies trio up at the church at what is usually Little Girl's nap time. Any other week when she'd have had a consistent nap every day, that might not have been a problem. This week, it was a major problem. For the first 15 minutes of the rehearsal, she was whiny and fussy, crying for no reason. Then I finally gave in and held her. She fell asleep in my lap. I don't remember the last time she fell asleep in my arms before that. Her sleep couldn't have been very sound (I was singing the whole time), and it certainly wasn't long enough. We had to leave and go get Big Girl from school.

We spent some time with my mom, who I had asked to get Big Girl for me since the rehearsal would make it tight for me to get her on time. We ended up spending nearly an hour in my mom's classroom, much longer than expected. We came home around 4:00 PM, and the wheels came off for both the girls. And Hubby was working out of town, so there was no one coming home to relieve me. I sent both girls to their rooms until they could stop crying. I needed a time out.

I totally wimped out on dinner. We went to Sonic. I'm not proud of it, but I did that with Hubby's blessing.

This Week, Part 2

I left you last after my Sunday of worship and work. Hard, back-breaking work.

Monday I was sore.

Monday I became facebook friends with my piano teacher from college. He had been on facebook since July, and yet it took me nearly 5 months to find him. I had done a search for him more than once on facebook, and he never showed up (that I saw) until Monday, when someone I knew commented on a photo of his or something like that.

I had things to do on Monday that didn't get done. I'll admit it. I spent way too much time on facebook Monday. I didn't go grocery shopping, and I didn't even put Little Girl down for a nap. I just couldn't tear myself away from the computer. Bad me. I scanned and uploaded just about every high school picture I have of my friends and me. I had to disassemble a framed collage to do that. It was a very involved task, one that could have waited for another day when I didn't have actual things that needed to happen. Oh well. What's done is done, and I'm glad to have the pictures out there. When you put out pictures like that, people tag the people they know who are in the pictures, and then you get connected with the people you weren't connected with, and the circle grows and grows.

Tuesday was a busy day. First thing I had to make up for having not grocery shopped the day before. Then I met with some friends to hang out and pray, and let our girls play together. That is where the interesting part of the week really gets rolling. (I know, I'm into the second post, and it's only NOW getting interesting. Sorry, folks. This is my place to tell as detailed a story as I want.)

When we prayed together, aloud, God spoke a couple of things directly to my heart. 1) Now is not a stepping stone to the next thing. Now is the destination. What are you waiting for? And 2) Little Girl will be a huge asset to the kingdom of God, and her heart will be on fire for God if she can see it in you.

Whoa...

God had me all stirred up at that point. This last year, since losing my father-in-law, has been a rough road, and I have been slowly coming back to a right relationship with God. I have accepted my father-in-law's death (though I still miss him very much, and will always!), and I've seen some seeds planted in Big Girl as a result. If his passing means she will join us in heaven one day, then I know it was worth it. Anyway, my heart is coming around after that huge season of suffering following his passing.

I went home, and immediately walked up to the school to get Big Girl. On the way home, I was reminded that there was a women's ministry meeting Tuesday night, planning the upcoming ladies' retreat. I had the thought, I should go to that. Maybe whatever God has for me NOW has something to do with that. I really had no idea what.

After I got back home, fed the girls a snack, I sat down at the computer for the first time that day, and my piano teacher popped up in a chat window (the one I had just become friends with the day before). We had a few exchanges of chit-chat, then he asked, "what's going on with you?" So I shared with him the stuff God had revealed to me earlier. As I was sharing with him, it became clear to me that what I had to do at the meeting was to offer myself up to lead worship, or at least play the piano for it. It was no coincidence that this man who is so tied to piano in my life hadn't shown back up until then. When I realized all of this, I started shaking, palms sweating, you name it. But I knew in my spirit that God was calling me to offer that up.

This may not make sense to my readers, so let me explain. I started taking piano lessons when I was 3 from my mother. I continued to take lessons throughout my childhood, with a couple breaks here or there. It was a constant struggle between my mom and me about piano practice. I had enough talent to fake it, mostly. Finally when I was in 10th grade, I was in band and choir at school, and I really didn't want to do the piano thing anymore, so I quit. Then when I was a music major in college, I had to take piano again. I still didn't like practice, and got a D my first semester from the teacher I'm now facebook friends with. (I made a lot of mistakes that first semester, and that was just one of them.) For some people, the thing they fear most in the world is speaking in front of people. For me, it's playing the piano in front of people. My knees knock together, my hands shake. I'm stiffening up nervously right now just thinking about it. It's not a place I want to be, offering that up to the women's ministry at church.

So I went to the meeting, fully expecting to offer to play, and they'd say, "thanks, but no thanks," and move right along. And that's nearly how it went, only I didn't say anything. The pastor's wife got up and started talking about registration, and hostesses and stuff like that. She mentioned the lady who is doing the worship leading and another doing the speaking. I sighed, relieved. I volunteered to help with registration. I can do that. I can make a database and enter information and keep things organized. I'm good at that sort of thing. (I have a database for my homeroom mom stuff, after all!)

After the meeting, a friend of mine needed to talk to me about something, so we sat there a few minutes. I shared with her that God was stirring something up in me, and went through the whole thing with her. (Incidentally, she went to my college and also knows the teacher I'm talking about.) Before I could get away, she called the pastor's wife over and had me tell her. When I started to say the words, they barely came out. I was flooded with fear and trembling. I did say what I had to say. I obeyed the obvious thing God called me to do that night. She and my other friend prayed over me before we left. That was a truly special moment, one I hope I never forget.

So now it's not up to me. Whatever happens with my piano playing is in God's hands. When He calls on me to practice, I pray that I will. I pray I will practice with a happy heart and not the same rebelliousness I showed my mother for all those years.

After I got home, I was chatting with another friend (the one I met at Chick-fil-a that day and got a free milkshake from the manager), and God showed me something else. I had to completely reject playing the piano for 10 years so that I could separate my mother's love from it. Growing up, I had it in my head that my mother's love was tied to whether or not I was playing the piano. That was not the reality, but it was my immature perception. Now that my mother's love and favor toward me has nothing to do with piano, I can enter that back into my life without the same feelings of worth or worthlessness being tied in. (Now I know my mother's love is based on my having given her grandchildren!! HA HA!)

God knows what He's doing as he weaves the intricate tapestries of our lives. It's utterly amazing.

That brings us up to Tuesday night. Wednesday and Thursday will have to wait for another post.

Tonight the song in my head is "Africa" by Toto. Here's why. This video is a really good one. You should watch it and enjoy. It's not the video for "Africa." It's better than that. All will be made clear after you watch.

This Week, Part 1

Today I have so much to say, and I'm not quite sure where to begin... I guess I'll start with Sunday, since the last time I shared anything was Saturday. So here goes...

Sunday at church, Hubby was playing drums, and I wasn't singing on stage. Usually it irks me somewhat to sit and not be singing, and I sit (or stand, as appropriate) there hearing all the mistakes being made by the people who are singing on stage, jealous of them, nursing my bruised pride that I was not chosen for that Sunday. (Pretty awful, I know.) This week, I was not in that frame of mind at all. I was there, where I usually sit with Big Girl (before she goes off to Children's Church), happy for the people who were singing their hearts out to God on stage. Sure, I still heard stuff that I would have sung differently, but in my heart I didn't respond like I usually do. As the morning's worship service went on, I was aware that there was a difference, and I was happy about it. I was having a "Yay, God!" moment for most of the service. When the invitation came, I was bowing my head, still in my introspective mode, thanking God for the attitude improvement, when I was tapped on the shoulder. The worship leader wanted me to go sing for the invitation (several of the other singers had left). So I did get to sing after all, when I wasn't looking for it, or jealous about it. God gave me a little gift in that, I believe. He blessed me for my good attitude.

Then Sunday lunch, we went to one of our favorite local Mexican food restaurants. It makes my taste-buds happy to eat those fajita beef/chicken combo quesadillas! Little Girl didn't eat much that day. Big Girl ordered a peanut butter and jelly taco, which was a mistake for her. She had a very hard time when the peanut butter and jelly started dripping out the back end of her tortilla. Lesson learned. She won't get that again.

As he was leaving church to join us to go to lunch, Hubby was approached by another band member who lives out in the country and whose wife runs a business with their stables, giving riding lessons and boarding horses. He is building an office for her, and asked for Hubby's help Sunday afternoon. My husband is not a typical guy. He is strong, but he's not handy. I build the IKEA furniture at our house. I see how it goes together, and he just doesn't really. Plus, he worked Saturday out of town, and hadn't had a weekend yet. He's also scheduled to work out of town this Saturday, so he knew he wasn't getting another day off for a while. He also doesn't do very well being thrown a change in plans at the last minute. All of this added up to his not going to help. But I am quite handy. I do see how things go together. I may not be as strong as he is, but I thought I had something to offer, so I went in his place.

There were four or five people working the whole time I was there. The first thing we did was secure braces to hold the framing square. (For my female readers, that means there were 2x4's going all sorts of diagnoals, nailed at the top of the framing, and we were securing the bottoms of those diagnoals to hold the tops of the framed walls in just the right spot so the room would be as square as possible.) There was a carpenter at the top of the frames, watching to see when we got it to the right spot, Mike (whose place it was) with the nail gun, then me and another girl leaning on or pulling the braces until it was in the right spot and holding it until Mike could nail it. That didn't take very long.

Then we hoisted trusses to the top of the framing we had just squared. This was the second story, by the way. The trusses were on the ground when we started. Another helper had shown up between the bracing and moving the trusses, so that was good. Mike and Judy stood on the ground, lifting the truss to me, Candace and the carpenter, John, who stood on top of a first story roof and then lifted slid it up to the second story and let it go to rest across the framing. One time we didn't quite push it far enough and it teetered like a see-saw for a minute, until John could push it around some more and move it out of the way for the next truss to come up there. There were 13 in all. It was interesting how Candace and I went from being timid about grabbing them and lifting them at the beginning, to practically doing it without John's help by the end. I also lifted sheets of plywood, one at a time, standing in the bed of a truck, up to Mike who was then on the first story roof. There were 30 sheets of plywood. After that, some of the help had to leave. Candace and I helped Mike measure and cut plywood for the outside of the walls on the first story wall until the sun went down and we lost our light. It was an afternoon of hard labor.

And I don't have time today to go into all of what I want to get out here, so I'll have to leave Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday for another post.

The song in my head comes from my husband's facebook status update. His update: "Hubby" liked it, and nearly 10 years ago put a ring on it. I thought he was being sweet, and he was. But that status sentence came from his having the Beyonce song, "All the Single Ladies" in his head. When he was working out of town last weekend, he had to drive people's cars for the study, and he doesn't mess with the people's radios when he is in their cars. That song came on while he was driving someone's car, and so it got stuck. It would have been sweet if he hadn't then made me listen to that song. So if you want to know what I'm talking about, here you go. If you want to skip listening to the song in my head today, that's OK with me. I completely understand. I wish I had had that option...

Kids' Craft!!!

I'm so excited today about the kid craft I thought up! I've been wanting to make an ornament with Little Girl's picture in it this year to help compensate for the fact that by this time in Big Girl's life, she had already been in school, making picture ornaments for a year or two, and there are already several pictures of her on our tree. There's one little picture of Little Girl from last year in her Sunday school class, and the picture they used isn't a very good one. She had taken off her headband, and her hair is a mess.

Last night I attended our church's Women's Christmas Dinner. It's a very special event every year, and it's always a fun night. Each table is adopted and decorated by a hostess, and each table is different. They're all beautiful in different ways. This year, the table I sat at was a hybrid of Christmas and Valentiney things, with the theme of John 3:16. There were all the figures from a white ceramic manger scene with red hearts on a black table cloth. It was very elegant. It inspired my ornament idea.

I got peel and stick glitter foam in 8.5/11 inch sheets. I used a heart-shaped cookie cutter to make red and silver hearts (I had to finish the cutting job with scissors, but it made enough of an impression to see where to cut). I cut a circle hole in the center of the red hearts (with my old Crative Memories circle cutters) for a picture of the girl(s). Then on the back of the silver heart I wrote with a black sharpee, "God loved us and sent His son. I John 4:10" (That's one of the verses they learn for Cubbies.) I made enough hearts for my girls and my neighbor's girls. She and I had been talking about doing a craft together with the girls.

After my girls watched me cutting out all these hears, they had ideas about other shapes they wanted to make for ornaments for grandparents (be surprised when you open your Christmas presents, please!).

It wasn't until after we cleaned up the mess we had made on the table that I found a paper for Big Girl's homework for this week. She has to make something that represents how our family celebrates the holiday. How perfect!! And it's going to hang in the hallway at school for a week. I'm so excited to put this ornament with the scripture on it in the public school. I really didn't set out to do that. It just worked out that way. Isn't it great when God does that?!

Thanks to a Paul Shanklin parody I heard on Rush yesterday, I have Abba's "Dancing Queen" in my head today. *Sigh* Sorry, folks.

UG - We Make Fire

This week has been all over the place, as far as our weather is concerned. Early in the week it was mild, and playing outside in the afternoon was pleasant in a sweatshirt, if not just a little too warm. By Wednesday, a T-shirt and jeans was just right. Then the cold front came Wednesday night, and it's frigid out there. We've had freezing overnight, and super cold days with lots of biting wind. And that's why last night, Hubby and I made a fire in our fireplace. It was a first for us. We hadn't lived in a house with a fireplace until last year, and for some reason, the fire we tried to make last year never really caught on. I think the wood was wet or something. This year the wood (from the same wood bundle) was just right and caught on fire right away. We turned the gas completely off after a little while, and just enjoyed the warmth from the flames licking the wood. Ahhhh... it was great! I sat by it the whole evening, poking it and keeping it going until bedtime.

This week has been a good one in a lot of ways. We (the girls and me) have been playing outside with our fantastic neighbors every day for at least an hour. Even yesterday when it was super cold. The poor little girls had pink noses, but they wanted to play until the sun started to go down, and it got obviously colder.

While they've been playing out there, I've been dealing with the Christmas lights. I've had a bit of a situation on my hands in that regard. Last year I put lights up on the small hedge row in front of our walk up to the front door (it runs parallel to the street from the driveway to the door). I also wrapped the two large trees in the front yard. But this year, I stole the lights that wrapped the outside trees to put on the Christmas tree inside, so I had to buy more lights to go on the trees outside. I also decided to put lights on the hedges that are between the walkway and the house, in front of our big window, so I had to buy more lights for that too. Last year I had no problems with any of the lights I bought, they all worked. Now I'm realizing what an anomaly that was because two thirds of the lights I bought this year have not worked. I've already returned one box and bought another, and now I have more to return. (I wish I had tested them before I wrapped the trees!) I can't get them back into the box, and at this point I don't care. Wal-mart can take their made-in-China junk and shove it back in the box for me. I am not buying any more lights at Wal-mart. *End of rant.*

I have been listening to King's X in my car this week, and it's the "favorites" CD compiled by Hubby that today's song in my head comes from. It's called "Freedom," and it's got a killer riff right from the start. This video has a little extra thing the beginning, but you can hear the song. King's X is a three piece band, and they are every bit as good live as they are on the CD. They originally recorded this song as an extra track for the European release of Ear Candy in 1996. They redid it, lowering the key (they aren't as young as they used to be!) and changing a couple lyrics, and put it out on their 2005 CD release, Ogre Tones. The Ear Candy version is better, but the song is still good. (All this extra King's X trivia comes to you courtesy of Hubby's mega- super- UBER-fan status, and my years of listening to him talk about the band he loves nearly as much as me.)

The Rest of the Thanksgiving Holiday

When I left you last, I was about a third of the way through my recovery from being sick on Thanksgiving Day. I progressed through Friday, getting better and better to the point that I knew I'd be fine Saturday when I went to bed Friday night. And i was. I woke up Saturday a new woman! Which was a very good thing because I was hosting a little party Saturday. Some our dear friends who we used to go to church with years ago came over, and their daughter who is going to be 13 years old this week, and my parents came over for food and games. It was great fun. Seeing "Clare Bear" makes me feel super old because I used to babysit her. In fact, Hubby and I babysat her together once when she was 2... how time flies! I think everybody has friends like these, you love them dearly, and life gets in the way of everyone just sitting down and getting together for much too long, but whatever the interval, you have a blast every time you see them, and the love hasn't faded one bit. If you don't have friends like that, you should go get some. Our gathering was centered around lunch, and by 5:00 PM or so, everyone had left.

It was about then that my husband didn't feel too well. He laid on the couch for the rest of the day. He was not himself. Normal for him is sitting in front of the computer, playing games or reading online. Sacked out on the couch in front of the TV, like he was on Saturday, is NOT normal. He had a fever even.

While he was "keeping the couch warm," the girls and I put up the Christmas tree. After I put the tree up, branch by branch, and did the lights, one layer of branches at a time, I sat on the floor and unwrapped ornaments. The girls came over to me, got an ornament and took it to the tree, and then back to me and so on until all the ornaments were on the tree. Little Girl's work is pictured to the right. Apparently, if the branch isn't falling off the tree, it can handle another ornament! I can count about 14 ornaments on these two branches alone! It was the second time I've had a little helper. Last year Big Girl was my only helper if I remember correctly. This year it was definitely more fun than it has been in years past with two little elves on the job! In the picture on the left you can see the distribution. Big Girl's work was quite a bit more spread out than Little Girl's, but still, it required some reworking after they had finished.

When I'm coming down the stairs, I can see the tree. When I'm sitting in my favorite place on the couch, I can see the tree in the reflection on the china cabinet. We have it on a timer, so it's on in the morning when we get up, and we can go to bed with it lit at night, and not have to mess with anything. I really like having it up. It makes me feel all happy inside. Christmas is coming!

Today, while the girls were playing with the neighbor girls outside, I did the lights outside. Well, I did some of the lights outside. This year, in unpacking the tree, I found a strand or two of lights out that I had used on the inside tree in the past. So I dug into the lights that I used outside last year. So now I need to go buy some more lights to put outside. I still have the "net" style lights over the shrubs. Tomorrow, if I can get the laundry done, then maybe I can go shopping and get the lights.

Tonight's dinner is yummy chicken fajita leftovers. I just love chicken fajitas! And I love having enough leftover to not have to cook again. Unfortunately Hubby is still feeling icky, and is afraid to eat. Oh well, I guess there's more for the rest of us. (Now that I've taken a break to eat, and washed the queso off my fingers.... )

I wish is weren't the case, but that Subway commercial jingle is what I have in my head. Does that count as a song? Well, that's what's playing today. Enjoy... anyone want a five-dollar foot-long?

Sicky Holiday

I am a big baby when I'm sick. I know it. I'm OK with that. What's worse than being sick is being sick over a holiday.

Wednesday I was the stuffy-head, sinus headache, dizzy when I stood up kind of sick. But it didn't really hit me until the afternoon.

I went out Wednesday mid-morning to meet a friend for lunch. I took the girls to a Chick-fil-a further into town to meet my friend in the middle, half-way for both of us. She brought her 20-month-old son, who I had never met. This friend and I hadn't spent any time together in 10 years or so. (I can't remember if the last time I saw her was before I got married or after, but no matter, it's been FOREVER!) We've reconnected through facebook (I LOVE facebook, it's the best online invention EVER!). While I was waiting for my friend to arrive, another friend, a mutual friend came into Chick-fil-a with her daughter and son. We had a little mini-reunion. The manager of the store was going around passing out little balls to all the children, and even gave us three moms milkshakes in honor of our impomptu reunion. It was really nice.

Of course, Little Girl pooped her pants, and we had to leave. Story of my life.

When I got home, I hosed off my Little Girl and all three of us girls had "rest" time. Little Girl and I slept for two and a half hours. What a nice rest. When I woke up, I felt awful. My sickness had really settled in at that point. I could handle being upright in my chair, so long as my fist and elbow could prop up my head. I was really quite pitiful. I did take medicine, I was doing what I could to find relief. It just wasn't really in the cards for me.

Thursday morning, I was really feeling a little better than I had been the day before. We had planned to go to my mother-in-law's house for the day, spending as much of it as possible up there. I got a bag together with pj's for the girls, extra pairs of pull-ups for Little Girl, and blankets for them to cuddle with on the way home, another bag with a dish and the ingredients for my contribution to the big meal which I didn't have the energy to put together the day before, and another bag of outgrown clothes to pass on to my little nieces. We got ourselves out the door at 9:18, only 18 minutes off from the target leave time, a relative success. I grabbed a Coke Zero on my way out the door. Little did I know that would be the last caffiene I would get for the rest of the day. I forgot to take my decongestant. Bad move.

When we got there, I joined in the meal prep with my mother- and sister-in-law, threw my yummy corn dish together, and generally tried to help without getting in the way. Those times are fun times. If you're going to have to work in the kitchen, you might as well do it with 4 or 5 women, all laughing and carrying on and having a good time.

Grandmom, my mother-in-law's mother, now 86 years old, was also there, and my sister-in-law's mother, Linda, as well. Grandmom is one of my favorite people. Since even before marrying my Hubby, she's been like my own grandmother. Sadly, she hasn't been quite the same since her stroke 3 and a half years ago, and doesn't remember things, and doesn't want to talk anymore. She's still a very sweet lady, but her spark is gone. Linda was widowed when her son was in college, before he and my sister-in-law got together. Ever since they married, Linda has been included in our family's gatherings, as her son is an only child, and when he's with us and our family for whatever holidays, she would be alone. She's a lovely person, and I'm glad she comes and joins us.

We had a lovely meal of turkey and ham, my corn pudding, green beans, spinach salad with strawberries and pecans. Much to the chagrin of my husband and Grandmom, there was no traditional mac & cheese on the menu. In it's place was a Paula Deen potato dish, which was yummy, but not something my picky Hubby would eat. He also doesn't eat ham or the corn pudding. He just doesn't know what's good.

The kids present were my two girls, and my nieces, Leslie and Kenna. Leslie is 4, but she's tiny. She's been tiny her whole life. This year there was much celebration that she was actually ON the growth chart, at 15th percentile for height and 20th percentile for weight. She's wearing 2T clothes, but really needs 3T for length. So she either wears highwaters that stay on , or pants that are long enough, but continually falling down. Poor girl. And Kenna is a much more normal-sized 2-year-old. She's also wearing 2T clothes. Both girls are very sweet. We had all four of them sitting together at the "kids' table" this year, and that worked out pretty well. Our girls ate most of their food, and didn't fuss too much. What more could we ask?

The afternoon was spent watching Dallas Cowboys football, alternating with HGTV when the men fell asleep. Hubby fixed some stuff on my mother-in-law's computer. (He is the best free tech support anywhere!) The two men also got out my mother-in-law's Christmas trees for her. They were erected in their places, but not decorated. The little girls never took naps. That was a problem later.

Throughout the day, my headache was growing and growing. It wasn't until the mid afternoon that I found out that I had been drinking decaf tea all day. No wonder. I need my caffiene. By dinner time, I was really hurting.

My mother-, sister- and brother-in-law, Hubby and I all played a game together, taking a break to feed the fussing children dinner. The no-nap day was a problem for Kenna. The wheels were coming off the cart for her. She was really cranky, poor kid. Once the kids were fed, we finished our game, which ran into the big football game starting. All of my Hubby's family went to Texas A & M, and are all rabid Aggie fans, even when the team is bad, like this year. The UT/A & M game is a big deal every year, although this year UT has a really good team, and A & M has the worst team in 10 years, so the outcome hasn't been in question since the beginning of the season. About an hour into the game, Hubby said he didn't want to watch any more, and we started home.

By then my headache was screaming at me. I didn't want to hold my head up anymore. I rode the whole way home with my elbow on the passenger side window and my head resting on my fist. As we rode, I could feel my insides churning and churning. When we got home, I carried Little Girl up to her bed, and then I didn't want to go back downstairs. I felt so bad. I put on my pj's and went to bed. If only that were the end of the story... How much do you want to know? Is it enough to say that I was sick into the trash can twice? Probably. So that's all I'll say. And I went to bed, without ingesting the caffiene or the pain medication I so badly needed to relieve my headache.

And so far this morning, I haven't really tried to eat anything. But I've had most of a Coke Zero. I think I really need to eat. I guess that's next on the agenda. I really want to be well. Tomorrow we're having some dear friends over, and my parents too. We're going to have a good time playing games and eating, and I'm not going to be sick anymore. I'm going to will myself well.

To cleanse my head of the Weird Al kick I've been on lately, I put the old stand-by Fleming & John CD in the player in my car, The Way We Are. I love that CD. It's my absolute favorite of all time. Big Girl loves it too, and her favorite song is "I'm So Small," the rock version. They have 2 versions of it on the CD, and the other is jazz. I don't know which I like better, it depends on the mood I'm in. The song currently in my head, from that album is "The Pearl." Good stuff.

Nasty Poop Story

If you don't want to read a nasty poop story, then skip this post. You've been warned.

Just a little past noon I called Little Girl to come downstairs. She hadn't finished all of her sandwich, and she needed to go potty before nap. She didn't come right away. I should have known there was a reason.

I called her again and stood where I could see her coming down the upper half of the stairs. There's railing up to the landing, and I could see her coming through the railing. When I was certain she was on her way, I quit watching her and went about fixing my lunch, or something like that in the kitchen, I don't remember now. She went to the table where I had directed her to go, and I kept fiddling with my lunch.

*Sniff, sniff.* I smelled poop. "Did you poop in your pants?" I asked her. She denied it quickly. Then I noticed a little trail of something on the floor leading to her chair. I was pretty sure it was poop. "Did you poop in your pants?" I said with a distinct edge in my voice. Big eyes, turning on the pitiful puppy-dog show looked back at me as she nodded.

I started to follow the trail of poop back toward where she had come from and it led all the way to the stairs and all the way up to the second step below the landing. I lost it. She had let poop run down her leg inside her pants and come out all over the carpeted stairs. I am still horrified as I think of it.

I went back to the kitchen and ... I'd like to say that I calmly explained to her that her pooping in her pants and consequently on the floor was inappropriate and unacceptable, but that's not exactly how it went down. I was angry. She knew it.

I had to give myself a time out before I could deal with her, or cleaning up. So I ate my lunch. Not the most appetizing thing to do while there's "eau de poo" in the air, but I had to eat. The food was made, and besides, that's what I was doing BEFORE all that mess happened.

When I was a little calmer, I took her outside and began the clean-up process. The pant leg of her jeans was caked with poo, so I hosed the pants and panties off too. Then I turned the hose on my then naked daughter. Even after a good hose-down, I still found a spot of poo on her leg after we were inside.

Before letting her get comfortable and warm, I made her clean the floor. She mostly sat there with her paper towel crying, but she did wipe up a spot or two while I tackled the stairs. There are still spots on the stairs. I don't think they're coming off. I gave it everything I had in the way of cleaners, and elbow grease, friction and whatnot. I'm afraid there will forever be 5 spots on the stairs that won't come out. At least I got up the other 4 or so. After I'd done the stairs, I worked my way down the poop trail until I met up with where Little Girl was supposed to be cleaning.

After the tile was cleaned up, I took her upstairs and gave her a quick cold shower to get that spot off her leg, and also to use soap on her everywhere from the waist down. I did not wait for the water to warm up. I know it's not fun to be hosed off naked outside or given a cold shower, but it's not fun to clean up someone's poop off the floor either, and I'm not the one who pooped my pants, so I don't feel bad about it.

I hope this goes down as the worst story I ever get to tell about potty training. I don't think I could handle worse than this. SUPER GROSS!!!

I warned you. Poop story.

Thanksgiving Week Commences

Judging by the lack of comments, I'm wondering if anyone out there is reading lately... Well, I only do this blog thing partly for the reader anyway, so I guess that's OK. It's for me too. Not only to document our lives, but also for me to vent whatever is on my mind. Since it is a public venting, there are some things which must not come up here, and I'll just say that I'll put Sunday morning in that category this week, and move on.

Saturday I had an awesome opportunity to go to a ladies' tea, thrown by one of the biggest churches in town at a fancy downtown hotel ballroom. The speaker was Leslie Nease, who was a contestant on Survivor China (this video really shows what she's made of at the 6 minute marker). I only got to go because another lady who was invited to go couldn't, and offered the ticket to me through my mother. The two of us left my kids and both our husbands at her house and had a lovely afternoon of fellowship with ladies from all over the city. We ran into a few we knew (besides the ones we knew we'd see). It was really nice.

Sunday morning had its share of fiascos, but the one I can share is about Little Girl throwing up during the first service, and me having to take her home. I was singing and Hubby was playing drums, and it was either lose a singer or the drummer for the second service. That's a no brainer. I had to go. I was really bummed because it seems like I haven't had many opportunities to sing lately, and we had practiced and had all the parts worked out quite well. Little Girl never turned out to be sick. She just threw up the one time, and was fine for the rest of the day.

Sunday night there was a Thanksgiving meal at church. If you can imagine about 200+ families gathering for a pot-luck meal in a gym... the turkey and drinks were provided by the church, and everyone else brought side dishes and desserts. It was a really nice time. Big Girl and I went without Little Girl and Hubby. I'm so glad we did. God put me and Big Girl sitting across the table from a family I don't know all that well from our Sunday school class. Turns out she's an OT at the place where Big Girl is going to be evaluated December 10th! I was so glad to have someone be able to answer some questions, and put my mind at ease about some things.

God did that once before back before Big Girl was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. We had the referral from the pediatrician for the pediatric neurologist, and were very scared about the idea that we were facing autism. During that month between those doctor visits, we had a minister and his wife over for dinner. It turned out that the minister's wife was an austism specialist for the biggest school district around. It was a tremendous blessing to have her placed at our very own dinner table at a time when we needed her most. We had no idea what she did before that night. God did it all, just like this time. And we had no idea He was doing it. It was a happy surprise.

Today was just another day at home with Little Girl for me. We went grocery shopping. She peed her pants. We ate lunch. She pooed her pants. We went for a walk, mailed some bills, took Big Girl's snack up to the school that I'd forgotten this morning, came home and took a nap. No more accidents for the rest of the day. Big Girl had a playdate after school with one of her friends who had never been to our house before. It was mostly a successful playdate. It was hard for Big Girl to show deference to the friend whose choices didn't always match what she wanted to do, but that's a learning process for all little hostesses. Little Girl and I played outside with our fantastic neighbors. The neighbor's little girl who is about 16 months old came to me today for the first time. That'll warm anyone's heart! Having a tiny thing walk over and give a hug! It was really a highlight for me.

Tonight I spent some time making our Christmas newsletter. Last year I started doing it like a little newspaper. This year I did that again. I really enjoy playing with the format. The story about Little Girl has the best headline: Little Girl is learning to put poo in its place, only I used her name. Very funny. I'm laughing, even if I'm alone!

And with that, it's super late.

I have an older Weird Al song in my head today. "Albuquerque." It's very long. He used to only do it live until there was such an outcry from his fans that he put it on an the Running With Scissors album. The video is missing the last part of the song, but hey, at least I found it out there. You can get an idea of what's going through my head. That Weird Al is really a genius.

What do I do with Little Girl? - A Day in MY Life...

Original post at 8:59 AM - What do I do with the girl who refuses to poo in the potty? This morning Hubby caught her red-faced and grunting (standing, with pants on) and I pulled her pants down and plopped her on the pot. Since then, she's spent some time screaming, some time talking to herself, some time playing with everything in that tiny powder room that isn't tied down, but no time doing what she NEEDS to do. I am at a loss... HELP!

Updated at 9:10 AM - She put a tiny little bit of poo in the potty. I'm afraid to let her off the hook for fear that she's got more and it will end up in her pants. This is so difficult (I was going to say hard, but in this context, that means something else - HA!).

I apologize for the blow-by-blow over potty... I really didn't want this blog to be about that, but that's my life lately. I don't know any good potty songs, so you're spared in that way at least.

Updated at 3:13 PM - I made her stay on the pot until 10:00 this morning and threatened her with a spanking AND timeout if she messed her pants after I let her up. She and a friend played for a couple hours before the friend and her mommy had to leave. She still hasn't messed her pants since this morning, and that's good, but she hasn't done much in the potty either. This is the time of day when I tend to forget about potty, and she makes the most messes. Obviously it's on my mind at this moment, but will it be in 5 minutes?

I have had a very frustrating afternoon with her. She was in all-out refusal mode about nap, and then when it was time to go get Big Girl from school, she was slow to wake up and was in the worst mood ever. No trike today. She rode the stroller, screaming most of the way there. Since coming home, she and her sister have been at each other. I need a break. I don't want to hear any more "nyah" stuff, or crying, or whining, or I just may explode.

Updated at 5:25 PM - I just got a call from Hubby- he's working later than usual tonight, and is still at the office. Little Girl has both peed and pooped in her pants, and I just got done hosing her, wiping her, spanking her, and changing her pants. She now knows that spankings are part of the poop-in-her-pants territory, as this is the second or third time to do it. She has bent over her bed each time I've had to administer a poop spanking, and hasn't made that part difficult, which is a blessed change from every other thing I need to do with her lately, it seems. I've been putting her in the thicker panties made by Gerber, but since all of those are currently in the washer, she's wearing a pair of regular panties, just like her sister's, which won't hold diddly squat if it comes to that. I just can't put her in the LAST pair of pull-ups we have in the house. I need to save those for an outing. (I'm also in desperate need of a trip to the grocery store. I made Big Girls pb&j this morning with a hamburger bun because we ran out of bread!)

Now it's time to figure out what to scrounge for dinner to feed the children... *Sigh*

Updated at 9:10 PM - Hubby's coming home late wasn't so bad. He was only about a half hour or so from leaving when he called to tell me he'd be late. And he picked up dinner for the two of us on his way home. On top of that, he put the kids to bed for me. THANKS, Honey! I love you so much!

And for anyone concerned for the well-being of my children, they ate a really healthy meal, considering my lack of planning. They split the leftover grilled chicken (half a pretty big chicken breast), and had pasta and vegetables to go with it. The pasta was a previous homework assignment of Big Girl's. She had to find something at home and sort it by whatever rule she chose. She sorted "Wacky Mac" spirals by color. She wanted to eat the yellow noodles and Little Girl chose the orange noodles. There was about a serving in each little baggie. It worked out well, and Big Girl even let me mix the colors on the plates, as they were mixed in the cooking.

I think I'm getting to her...

Little Girl's antics of Sunday and Monday culminated in a gigantic battle just before bedtime Monday night. She had wet her pants (AGAIN!!). I wrestled her out of her wet panties (after she refused to remove them herself) as she threw a gigantic fit about it, and she went to bed screaming where I left her in a pull-up and her dirty shirt. I just couldn't fight her anymore. She cried herself to sleep. I told her that I love her and I don't want to fight her, but she has to obey. I took away her favorite doggie for the night. I know she hates that, but it was her choice. Take off the panties, or no doggie.

While Little Girl was screaming herself to sleep, Big Girl was very anxious about the noise her sister was making, which she usually is. I let her try sleeping with ear plugs for the first time. The next morning she said one of them fell out while she slept, but she was OK. When I put them in, I was very clear about only doing that once, and if she didn't like how they felt in her ears, she could take them out, but I wasn't going to put them back. She did great with it, I'm glad we have one more arrow in the quiver of things we can do to help her cope with her sensitivities at home. (I scheduled her OT evaluation yesterday, by the way.)

Back to Little Girl... having taken the doggie away Monday night set the stage for yesterday, which was a rather pleasant day. I think she went to time out 3 or 4 times, but there weren't any outright refusals to obey that escalated to the level of the tantrums I saw the two days before. One of those times she went to time out for being disrespectful and rude to me (saying "No!" and hitting her own leg when I said something she didn't like). Another time it was because she was playing in the toilet water. EEWW!! GROSS!! She knows better than that. If she were 18 months old, I'd chalk it up to childish curiosity, wash her hands and close the bathroom door. This is entirely different at 3 years and 8 months old. She was in the bathroom to USE it. She knows what it's for, and she knows not to do THAT.

She was convinced that I meant business when I laid down the law, so the battles were just way smaller, and less emotional (on her side, especially- I've been much better about this lately). We had a pleasant day, so to reward her, I let her ride her trike instead of the stroller to go pick up Big Girl from school. She didn't cry and scream when she was going uphill (which she has in the past), and she didn't gripe when I held the handle bars as we crossed the 3 streets between here and the school.

The day ended with a bath for the girls, and one of the typical battles Hubby and I face with Little Girl is when it's time to get out of the tub. She'd stay there all day 'til the water was cold enough to make her lips turn blue. I set the timer after I finished washing hair and bodies, so they'd have a reasonable amount of time to play. When the dinger dinged, Big Girl got out with no problems (as usual), and Little Girl resisted. I told her that if she wanted to sleep with her doggie, she had better get out without fighting me. She considered that for a little while, and then got out without a fight. We had a very nice bedtime last night. The perfect end to the day.

Last night Hubby came home early from working out of town. I hadn't mentioned that he would be away on the blog because he didn't know for sure how long he'd be gone. Turns out he was gone for one night, which is really no big deal. We had a nice time talking and catching up on the last two days.

Today I get a break from her, which is also a good thing. She is with my friend, giving me a "day off". It's hardly a day off today. The maid is here today. I'm the maid. Without anyone under my feet to undo what I've done within seconds of me doing it, with the music as loud as I want it to be, and without anyone screaming at the vacuum cleaner, I do a much better job of staying focused on the tasks involved in getting the house clean. (This is my lunch break, for anyone who may be thinking of judging me for spending a little time online.)

And with that, I better eat something before too much time gets away from me.

There are two songs today, both recent repeats, both Weird Al:

• "White and Nerdy" - It's been in Big Girl's head too. She was singing it around the house yesterday evening!
  
• "Pancreas" - I just starting thinking about anatomy generally, and it starts playing in my brain. Same with Hubby. We can't say "pancreas" anymore.
  

Why do these songs have to be SO catchy?

More Battles with Little Girl

I had an epic battle with Little Girl yesterday morning. I don't know what it is about Sundays... it's like she knows that there's a schedule, and she's determined to throw it all out of whack. I was able to keep my cool through it all, until she hit me. But that was after I'd already wrestled her into the shower, bathed her against her will, wrangled her out of the shower and into some dry clothes and sat on her (I didn't put weight on her) to get her shoes and socks on. And even when she hit me, I didn't unleash the fury that some would consider to have been warranted. I was lucky to get through all of that flailing without getting kicked in the teeth (just what I need right now...)! Once she was forcibly dressed to the shoes, she sat on her bed with her pink and blue doggies (her favorite bedtime friends), and stopped crying. We then had a little talk about how it didn't have to be that way, and I don't like fighting her, but if she's going to force the issue, I'll fight and I'll win. I love that girl, I really do. We made up before church. I'm so glad we did. I was able to go to church (20 minutes late) and not worry and fret all morning. Last night before we went to bed, Hubby and I each prayed over her. I did that a few weeks ago, and things were better for a while. It can't hurt anything, that's for sure.

Today is like a repeat show of yesterday, so maybe it has nothing to do with Sunday. The common thread these last 2 days is her pooping and/or peeing in her pants first thing in the morning. Today I took her outside and hosed her off. Yeah, it's 43 degrees out and the water is cold, but it didn't take long. I don't want it to be pleasant. And it wasn't. She didn't stop screaming until she had been inside for 10 minutes. The biggest difference from yesterday is that we don't have anywhere to go, and I'm not forcing the issue to get her cleaned up and dressed. Oh well. She's still pants-less, and I haven't really interacted with her since she stopped crying. I should probably do that...

What is the deal with her? Everyone I've talked with is equally baffled. I think we have an example of the untainted sin nature on display. She wants her own way and will not sit by quietly when she's not getting her way.

All weekend I had another Cake song in my head, "Hem of your Garment." The opening lyric reminds of Karli - "I'm intrinsically no good." Really that's true for all of us. We have darkness in our hearts until God changes that. And even after we've been redeemed, we're still intrinsically no good aside from the goodness of God.

Well-check from ... rhymes with WELL

I don't know what exactly made this well-check such a big horrible deal, but every little thing that could get Big Girl's anxiety flaring was setting her off. First of all, her teacher wanted to try and see how she'd do with a surprise pick-up. The other times she has had appointments, she's not been able to work, for watching the clock and waiting for me to pick her up. She did fine leaving the school with me. But that was where it ended. And I'm not so sure that the surprise pick-up wasn't a factor.

In the car on the way, Big Girl talked about the different rooms they have at the doctor's office. There's a jungle room, and a fire truck room, and many others. She wondered which room she'd get.

As soon as we got to the doctor's office waiting room, Big Girl had her eye on a book she wanted to look at, and another little boy got to it before she did. She was immediately in tears, and we're talking a loud "WAAAAHH!" kind of crying. When we were called back, she hadn't really calmed down any, despite my efforts to soothe her. The nurse asked her which room she wanted, the jungle room or the fire truck room, and she wanted the jungle room. When we got closer, the nurse realized there was already someone in the jungle room. More wailing.

I couldn't even hear the nurse asking me questions. We had to step out into the hall just to finish that part of the exam.

Little Girl and another 3-year-old were with us. I don't think the extra 3-year-old was really much of a factor, but Little Girl was definitely a problem. Everything she did set Big Girl off anew. It was a nightmare. It's easy to read that and think that I'm exaggerrating, but let me tell you, whatever you're imagining, it was every bit that bad, maybe even worse. At one point both Big Girl and Little Girl were both screaming. Little Girl got her little shoulder pinched more than once.

When the doctor came in to examine Big Girl, I took the little girls down the hall to the bathroom so the doctor could settle Big Girl, and so one of the little ones could use the facilities (unfortunately, not Little Girl). I actually carried Little Girl under my arm, kicking and screaming out of the room. When we came back, Big Girl was doing better, but not great. She was still very particular about everything the other girls did, which is her way, but it was amplified.

The doctor suggested I put Little Girl in some kind of daycare (mother's day out or preschool). She was concerned for me, seeing me obviously stressed. Let me tell you, that's pretty high on my priority list for next year. What's held us back so far is her lack of potty-trained-ness (which has not been going well at all lately, by the way).

After all that was over, I took the girls to grab some lunch (fast food lunch twice in one week, bad, I know) before taking Big Girl back to school. The girls did OK at lunch. Not great, but at least there wasn't crying. Why is it hard to get kids to eat? That baffles me sometimes. The little girls had to pack their fries up and finish them later because we had to get Big Girl back to school.

As we pulled into the parking lot at the school, Big Girl started crying because she thought she had missed out on working on some illustrating something or other, and her world was ending again. Trying to console her, I got down on my knees to look her in the face to tell her "there will be plenty of time to get your work done" and at that moment, the little girls were taking off across the crosswalk without me. I screamed "STOP!!" and they both came running back to me, across the crosswalk again. Stop does not mean come back!!! AAAGGGHHHH!!!! I didn't say that, I just thought it. I said something along those lines in a stern voice, but I didn't scream at them like my insides were screaming.

As we walked in the front doors of the school, Big Girl's class was lined up in the hall, just coming out of the cafeteria. Our timing was perfect. As far as her teacher is concerned, it was a beautiful and seamless transition. Never mind that most of the time I had her was so bad. It wasn't all the fault of the little ones either, though they didn't help. The thing with the book could have happened even if they hadn't been there.

It's been over an hour and a half since delivering Big Girl back to her class, and my stress level is still rather elevated from the sheer terror of our time at the doctor's office. I'm looking forward to putting the 3-year-olds down for a nap, and maybe getting one myself before time to pick up Big Girl and deliver the extra little girl to her mother.

Something's got to give. Right now it seems that my sanity is waning.

The good news (BEST NEWS EVER!!!) is that all the appointments are OVER! This week has just been INSANE with an apointment (or two) every day but yesterday. There is nothing on the calendar for next week involving doctors, dentists, or anything where they give you a confirmation call the day before. Ahhhhh...

I'm so frazzled right now I can't even think of the song in my head. Barney is on, and they just did the dumb "I love you" song to the tune of "This Old Man," so that's what's in my head at this very second. That's what I hate about Barney. They take perfectly good folk songs, or kid songs, and change the words. Bugs me to no end. But I digress... enough of that rant.

I Survived

I just got back from the dentist's office. I never saw the dentist, since I was just there for a cleaning. But really, I think a cleaning is worse than a dental exam anyway. The scraping and prodding lasts much longer.

Little Girl was with me, and she was delightful. Really. She did great! I made her a sack lunch so she could spend some of her wait-time eating. She's got to be the slowest eater on the planet, so I knew that would really take her a while, and it did. She sat on the floor next to the chair in the corner, and happily ate her sandwich and animal crackers. I also packed her a straw-style sippy cup of lemonade. After her meal, she turned to the bag of goodies I brought for her enjoyment. She played with the pencils and crayons like little action figures, and never colored in the coloring book, but whatever. She was happy and not making problems for me or the hygienist working on me.

I was very tense. That's understating it a bit. I was really a mess. As the scraping ensued, I actually shed a few tears. I had my iPod with me, and I was listening to Cake, since that was on my mind anyway. I turned it up (at the hygienist's suggestion) so I couldn't hear the scraping anymore, and was able to relax a bit, although I never really relaxed. I ratcheted down to about a 6 from an 8 on my 10-point hypothetical anxiety scale.

As I reclined there in that evil chair, I tried to wrap my brain about what makes that experience so tortuous for me. Besides just the sound and feeling of the scraping, it seems like she was all over my mouth in an unpredictable way, not going methodically from one tooth to the next, but jumping around with that evil scraper. I never knew where she was going to torture me next. Also, I don't like not being able to talk. I like talking. I like to think that I'm generally good at it. Having someone's hands in my mouth, and being rendered involuntarily speechless is really not something I enjoy. I also really hate it when the rotating polisher touches my gums. That feels horrible. I cringed and winced every time she did that, accidentally (yeah, sure). And the paste they polish with is very gritty, and I don't care what they try to do to it to make it not taste horrible, it still does. And the taste lingers. Bleh! At least when you get your teeth cleaned as an adult they don't make you do that disgusting flouride rinse.

After the polishing, and flossing, I started getting happy, thinking we were done. But then the lady pulled out the instrument of torture once more for some last minute scraping. Uncool. Very uncool.

When it was all over, and I in my car with my angelic 3.5 year old, we went to Sonic where I got her a smoothie, and got me lunch. I deserved a fatty fast food lunch after enduring all that scraping. And it made me a little happy to think about undoing some of that cleaning that had just taken place. Yeah, I have a spiteful side.

My teeth do feel good, even after my burger and tots.

One of the last songs I heard while in the chair was Cake's cover of "I Will Survive." Ironic, huh? (Warning: They use a dirty word instead of saying "stupid lock", but it's censored in the video.)

Sheep Go To Heaven - Cake

I haven't been to the dentist yet, so there's nothing new to say about that, but true to the name of this blog, this morning I have a song in my head, and it's a funny-ish one.

Cake's "Sheep Go To Heaven" is playing. I think they wrote that song just so they could say "go to hell" over and over. As we all know, sheep go to heaven, and goats go to hell. It's biblical. What can I say?

There are a lot of really neat musical things going on in that song. On the bridge, there are some counter-melodies, and the trumpet "descant"...

I hadn't really seen the video before today, so if you decide to go there and watch it, don't hold that against me. I just linked it so you could hear the song.

ARD & Pediatric Neurologist

Today was the ARD and pediatric neurologist appointment, and Hubby took an unplanned day off to come to both. How wonderful it was to be there, knowing I didn't have to retell the whole thing to him later, and also to know that I wasn't responsible for remembering any of the questions he may have had for any one of the people we met with.

So the ARD was the pre-evaluation ARD, in anticipation of the 3rd anniversary of Big Girl's initial evaluation, and therefore qualification for special ed. We basically talked about what tests they plan to give her to see what services she qualifies for. We won't be having an austism eval or a speech eval, since everyone agrees without testing that she still qualifies for those things. They want to give her an IQ test since she didn't have one before (she was only 3 after all!), and a couple other things. No big deal. Still glad Hubby came. That took quite a lot of pressure off of me, whether he realizes it or not.

The neurologist appointment went well. It was really pretty funny. When the doctor came in, he asked Big Girl a question, and then she was off and running, telling him about ladybugs and butterflies, and all kinds of semi-nonsensical stuff that just happened to pop into her head. He listened patiently. As I sat there, trying to keep myself from laughing at the funny stuff she was saying, I was thinking about how much money this man's time is worth, how many years of school he attended to become a pediatric neurologist, and now he spends 10-15 minutes listening to the imaginings of a 6 year old. How much $ was that worth? Anyway, this was the first time he has suggested Big Girl needs ocupational therapy. He wrote her a prescription for it. *Sigh* I know it will help her, and I will not deny my girl what will help her. But I'm really not happy about this. This will make life much more complicated on a regular basis. I'm jumping the gun a little bit, in that she hasn't be evalutated by an OT yet, but if she does end up needing it, the way the doctor thinks she does, then it means weekly trips to OT, figuring out what to do with Little Girl during that time, if they need me to stay, and having to kill 30 minutes-an hour with Little Girl while Big Girl is in therapy. Besides that, how much will it cost, and what will insurance cover? I was really hoping to get through her childhood without all that expense. Not because I want to deny her, but because I hoped she wouldn't need it. Well, now she does, maybe. *Sigh*

Tomorrow is the dentist for me again. Grrr... I don't want to think about that now.

I have had the Elgar in my head all day, and today I looked up Psalm 48, which is basically the text for that piece, and it has been a very nice way to meditate on the greatness of my God. So that's the song in my head today.

Busy

I realize it's been a while since my last post. It was a busy week last week. I had choir rehearsals Sunday, Monday & Thursday, then a concert Friday night.

And it took me a while to get over it. The election really bummed me out for a little while. I do believe God is in control, and I keep reminding myself of that. But I had already blogged about it, so I didn't see any need to get on here and do another post.

Friday night the girls stayed with my Mom & Dad (have I mentioned that I have the BEST parents ever?!?!) so that Hubby could come to my concert. He enjoyed it more than he thought he would. It was nice. We met for dinner before, and then a friend came to the concert, and he went with us afterward to have a little dessert. It was fun being out late, and not worrying about the kids. Then Saturday morning Hubby and I did yard work which needed to be done, and got the kids Saturday afternoon.

Sunday morning was awful with getting the girls ready for church. I was late to both services because of dealing with one or the other of them being less than cooperative for whatever reason. I missed the opening song both times, and it was choir Sunday. Can we just have a happy Sunday morning? Is that too much to ask?

Mom & Dad came over for a pot roast lunch. I did it again! I made pot roast! And this time I made gravy too, which I didn't bother with the first time since it was just Hubby and I eating it. We had a nice Sunday afternoon.

This week is shaping up to be pretty busy too, but not the same kind of busy. Last Friday I had a dentist appointment, my first since breaking off part of what I thought was an "inlay" but what turned out to be the back corner of my tooth. I found out I need about $800 worth of work done between the broken tooth and another cavity under a filling on the tooth just behind the newly broken one. Great. This is not going to encourage me to keep up with my dental health. I already have a thing about dentists (for a refresher, read here). If I wait to have all this done until we switch dental coverage, I can get the same work done for around $400, so I'm rolling the dice and putting it off until July or August. And hey, if the world ends in the next few months, then I didn't really need it done anyway, right? The gamble is that the decay will progress quickly and I'll need a root canal instead of whatever I need right now. I just hate going to the dentist. It's never good.

Today was Little Girl's first trip to the dentist. She did great. She was relaxed and cooperative, which surprised me. She's not the most cooperative kid about ANYTHING, and she far surpassed my expectations. Her strong-willed-ness was no where to be seen. Her teeth look good, no cavities. She does have a crack in the root of one of her two front teeth, which must have happened with a fall or something, but I can't for the life of me remember a fall that might have caused it (it could have happened any time in the last 2 and half years!). All that means is that it may fall out a little ahead of time, which might actually be kind of cute. And her mouth is pretty little, causing her baby teeth to not be straight. She'll definitely need some work done once those giant permanent teeth come in. Her bite is also a little off, side to side. The dentist was saying we might need to do something about that in the next year or two. Oh boy. That's fantastic. (Eyes rolling.)

Tomorrow is super busy. I mistakenly scheduled 2 appointments for Big Girl too close together. She sees a pediatric neurologist for her autism, and that appointment has been scheduled since November of 2007, and it's tomorrow at 3:00. About 3 weeks ago I scheduled her 6 year well-check, and I scheduled it for tomorrow at 2:30, not remembering about the neurologist appointment. Today I got it all worked out, and there was a cancellation at the pediatrician's office for Friday morning, so I got that appointment moved. YAY! And tomorrow morning, I have an ARD for Big Girl. That's the meeting where I sit down with the people at the school and go over what Big Girl needs as far as special ed services. I don't know why they want to meet so soon. We just had one last Spring. Oh well, I guess I'll find out tomorrow what's up with that. Little Girl will be going to that meeting, but not Big Girl. I bet Little Girl will do just great. She tends to perform pretty well with a group of adults that size, and when she's allowed to do her own thing on the floor.

Then Wednesday I have to get my teeth cleaned. More dentist. YUCK!!! I'll put on my iPod and check out as best I can during the scraping and all that. It makes my skin crawl just thinking about it.

I'm tired already just thinking about this week! At least I don't have Choral Arts rehearsals until January. But I might try to do a performance of Handel's Messiah in December. I've never sung it before. It would be fun.

I have had snippets of Britten's Cantata Misericordium, and Elgar's "Great is the Lord" from the concert Friday night in my head. I'd really like to move on, but I'm stuck. Maybe if I do the Messiah, I can have the "Hallelujah Chorus" in my head. That would be fun for a change (for a little while anyway).

Election Woes

This has certainly been an evening of extremes. People are either ecstatic, or despondent. I'm leaning toward the latter, all the while reminding myself that God is really in control. His sovereignty is not the least bit threatened by a silly election amongst His creation.

That being said...

For the years leading up to 2006 we had the White House and BOTH houses of Congress. How did we get here in 2008? Here's my analysis:

1. Bush was never the conservative we wanted him to be. Not even back in 2000 when he was narrowly elected the first time. He has since been on the wrong side of many key issues (despite being on the right side of national security):

• Campaign Finance Reform, which he signed expecting the Supreme Court to throw it out.
• Immigration Reform which never passed the Congress because of the outcry from the electorate (THANK GOD!!).
• Signing every pork bill that crossed his desk. This one is HUGE!! $$$$$$$
• He let Ted Kennedy write the education bill. (WHAT?!?!?)
  

I heard Bush speak in 1998, when he was governor of Texas, and just a possible presidential candidate. He said all the right things back then, but it's hard to believe he meant them. His "new tone" ended up meaning he bent over backwards and let the Dems have nearly everything they wanted. He did give us tax cuts, but they have an expiration date, and we can't expect them to be renewed. Not now.

2. He kept Cheney as VP in 2004, even though Cheney was vocal about not wanting to run for president (not that Cheney would have been a good candidate). Bush set us up to have a wide open primary process which got us saddled with John McCain. The more liberal Republicans in New Hampshire and South Carolina (who have reelected RINO Lindsay Graham AGAIN) got us stuck with him. Had we a VP incumbent to naturally take the helm when Bush's terms were up, it wouldn't have been McCain, no way, no how.

3. The Republicans in congress haven't separated themselves from the Democrats in congress, which set up the revolution in 2006. Too much pork. Too many scandals. Let's behave, people. Keep your pants on, and your hands clean, and don't spend our money like it's going out of style, please!!

4. McCain himself is not conservative, and not different enough from the Democrats for the Republican base to care all that much about the outcome of the election. He was on the same (wrong) side as Bush on those very issues I mentioned before, save maybe the pork. I haven't studied McCain's role in pork bills.

5, Tragically, McCain didn't call the Dems out for their folly in the economic mess that came to a head at the absolute worst time for the Republicans leading up to this election. And then he voted for the bailout. If he hadn't, I think he could have changed things enough to make a difference.

6. Sarah Palin, the best thing the McCain campaign had going for it, was not allowed to get out there and be herself. She was obviously tied by some of McCain's positions (the bailout for example), and not allowed to call things as they were (and still are).

I just hope that all this Democrat control of everything sets them up to open the door into their own noses, to give them enough rhetorical rope with which to hang themselves, etc. They'll have no one to blame for the mess they make of everything in the next few years, and we can have another Reagan landslide in 2012, only it will be a PALIN landslide next time.

God is in control. In my opinion, His favor on our nation is directly tied to our protection of Israel. God has protected us because we protect them. If our new president (President Hope 'n' Change, Hubby says) allies himself and the nation with the enemies of Israel, I believe God will no longer stay his hand.

The song in my head is a doozie. You'd never guess this one in a million years: Steven Curtis Chapman's "Got To B Tru" from The Great Adventure. Threw you for a loop there, didn't I? I loaded some vintage CCM into my iTunes this week, and that song came up more than once in Shuffle mode. I disabled that song after the second time. I couldn't take it.

Sarah Palin in 2012 campaign begins tomorrow!!!

Halloween

In the last couple of days, I've been sunken into boring house stuff that I don't want to do. There's after-party-clean-up (yes, there's still some of that nearly a week later), laundry, and then regular cooking/dishes mess that is required if we're going to eat, and I have a messy kitchen to contend with. I just don't want to do any of it. Waaah. I'm being a big baby about it all, and I know that, and it's embarrassing, honestly. I don't like myself when I get like this, and that demotivates me even more. I know I'd feel a whole lot better if I just finished something. Correction: if I finished something productive.

Today, with it being Halloween AND a Friday means that there will be a late night block party on our street, whether we like it or not. Our neighbors across the street and down 2 houses have a haunted house in their back yard that they do every year. There are even signs for it around the neighborhood. It's a big deal. I've never seen anything like it that was privately funded, and executed. Out front they have a large boat, and they make it look like a pirate ship. And I have no idea how they do the haunted house in the back having a pool in their backyard, but they do! Last year we moved in 2 weeks before Halloween, and had no idea what we were in for. This year, having seen the hysteria last year, we know what we're in for. And frankly, we'd like to retreat, and be able to have peace a quiet instead. That's because we're party poopers of the finest sort.

Actually, it has more to do with my husband's autism than anything. I think I could get into the groove of a good block party (although I'm really not a fan of Halloween) if it didn't make such an anxiety- and anger-riddled experience for Hubby. In the years when we had no idea about his autism, I really thought he was overreacting to the noise and any perceived rule-breaking he detected brought on by this sort of event. In his mind, everyone else's right to make noise ends where it is a nuisance to him trying to do just "be" inside his own house. While that's the way it ought to be, it seldom is the way it is (loud motorcycles driving down the street, cars with thumping bass, neighbors' dogs barking incessantly, etc) and it certainly will not be the way it is tonight. On top of the people noise, it will stir up every dog in a 5 block radius. The tension in our house will be palpable. I plan to go outside and watch. I don't know what Hubby will do.

Our church is throwing a Fall Fest, and we'll take our little cheerleader and Hello Kitty (recycling the kitty ears!) there to gather more candy than they can eat, bounce on a bouncy thing, play some carnival games (only they will be rigged for WINNING), and then come home and put them to bed. Then I'll go outside.

Something else is really bothering me today too. I took a shower, and forgot to use conditioner when I washed my hair. No big deal, I have some spray stuff that can make my hair smoother and condition it a little, right? Well, I used "spray shine", and I used too much. Now my hair looks greasier than before I washed it. I'm not a glamour girl. I can handle not looking perfect all the time. I do have a CHI straightener (and I love it), and a ceramic curling iron that get used at least 3-4 times a week. I can probably rescue this hair situation somewhat. But it's bothering me. I just had to get that off my chest.

I don't wanna be a crybaby. I do'nt wanna be sitting here complaining.

I really think that Halloween is putting me in a bad mood. I don't like it. I don't like the glorification of witches and goblins, and people looking gorey. I don't like the superstitious heritage this non-holiday has, and I can't really get over that. I do not ever want to own a T-shirt, lawn decoration, knick-knack or whatever with "Happy Halloween," or a jack-o-lantern or other "halloweeny" thing on it. I'm the Halloween version of Scrooge, and I'm OK with that.

So bah, humbug. I wish you the best on this last day of October.

I still have Weird Al in my head. This one, "Trapped in the Drive-Thru" is a parody of "Trapped in the Closet" by R. Kelly. Wikipedia describes it as "an excrutiatingly detailed narrative set to music about a couple getting burgers at the drive-thru." If you're married, if you've ever been a part of a long-term relationship, you can totally relate. The video is the best of the animated videos of any of the songs on this album. I'll warn you, it's 11 minutes long, but worth the watch.

Songs

As promised, the song in my head yesterday was Weird Al's "I'll Sue Ya," off the album, Straight Outta Lynwood. It's a style parody of Rage Against the Machine, and the riff is quite catchy. The video is worth watching, if you haven't. It's animated, and Weird Al didn't make it himself. He had several different animators make videos for several songs on this album.

Today I have another song off that same album in my head, "Pancreas." There's a cute video for that one too, although Weird Al didn't make it, so it's not as good as the "White and Nerdy" video, but it has it's own vibe which works with the song.

I know I'm going totally nerdy with these, but that's what this blog is about. This is what's actually in my head.

I'm finally to the point of knowing my Choral Arts music well enough to have that rolling around in my head too. So along with the nerdy Weird Al, I have Benjamin Britten's "Cantata Misericordium," Ralph Vaughan Williams's "Five Mystical Songs," and Sir Edward Elgar's "Great Is the Lord" taking turns up front in my conciousness. And those are just what we practiced last night. That's not the whole program.

That just ups the nerdy quotient, I know. But, what can I do? I gotta be me! I am at peace with my inner nerd.

Big Girl's Birthday

Today is Big Girl's actual birthday. Today is the anniversary of the day I became a mom. This morning, before Big Girl went off to school, I sat with her for a moment to try to tell her that six years ago today was one of the happiest days of my life. I think it sailed right over her head, but I least I told her. And I'll tell her again next year, and the next. One of these days she'll hear it, although I don't expect her to understand until she has a precious baby of her own. Still, I think it's important for me to say things like that to bless her, even if she doesn't get it.

That got me to thinking again about how having a baby brings a greater understanding of God's love. Here is this precious, helpless little thing that you don't know, but you know that no matter what, you love her with a love that would not hold anything back for her sake. I'd jump in front of a moving train to save her. I'd fight off a bear to save her. And what has she done to deserve that? Nothing really. She hasn't earned that love. She did nothing. What makes her the recipient of that kind of love is just the fact that she's mine. That's it. I love her because she's mine.

And that's how it is with God. We don't deserve His love. But we get it because we're His. What's even more special is that we weren't even born into his family. We're adopted, chosen to be a part of it. (I'm not trying to get into the whole free will/predestined argument here, so please don't go there.) Even when we act in a way that would make Him not want to claim us, He still does because we're His. Nothing we can do could make Him stop loving us, and nothing we could do could make Him love us more. His love is unwavering, unending, freely bestowed on His children.

Here's a picture of Big Girl from six years ago today. Who wouldn't love such a beautiful baby? (I know my eyes of love can't see anything but beauty in that face!)
There is a song in my head today, and it's not a very pretty one, so I'll wait to tell you til tomorrow. I have such a sweet feeling in this post, I'd hate to ruin it with this song. You'll understand tomorrow!

Blessings!

I can't believe I nearly forgot to blog this...

Yesterday, in the fray of my scrambling around to get things ready for the party, my dear, sweet husband did the most wonderful thing any husband could ever do for a wife: he asked me what could he do to help! He's the one who vacuumed the stairs, vacuumed the upstairs, unloaded the dishwasher and then (the kicker- he did this one unbidden) he cleaned up the kitchen after my cake-decorating mess!!! I cannot tell you what a load that lifted from me. I will be thanking him for his loving kindness and thoughtfulness for at least another few days!

My sweet husband is a blessing to me in so many ways. This was just one very concrete example I could share with the whole world. My primary love language is not acts of service, but this time those acts of kindness spoke VOLUMES to me!!!

Darling husband of mine, I love you more than words can say, and I thank you so much for the help you were to me yesterday! You blessed me in a very tangible way, and I sincerely appreciate what you did for me.