Stupid?

A friend of mine had this on her facebook, and I had to swipe it. It's just all kinds of awesome. Thanks, Jennifer!

Time to Rest

My body is having a forced shut-down. I pushed it through the weekend, and Sunday evening, I was done. I had a slight fever (since my body temp usually runs low, 99 degrees for me is a real fever), my nose was running, I was coughing and sneezing and all I wanted to do was sleep.

I took Monday off, which seemed like a good idea. It was a very good idea. I slept in, with a brief interruption to fix my girls' hair, and vegged out watching Netflix.

I should have done that again today. But no. I went to work. Not the best idea I ever had. After 2nd period, all I wanted to do was assume fetal position and put my head down.

I knew this was going to happen.

For some reason, I can't escape "Firework" by Katy Perry. I can't stand her or the song. I'm not going to link it. If you are fortunate enough to have never heard this horrible excuse for music, then I'm going to leave you in your blissful ignorance. I wish it wasn't but today it is the song in my head. Maybe that's where the pounding is coming from...

Paying the Price

Here it is, the Wednesday after Girlfriends Weekend, and I'm still tired. I have not caught up on sleep, which is not at all surprising. I can feel illness knocking gently on the door, warning me that if I don't get some serious sleep, like 9 hours or more a night, pretty soon, it's going to wipe me out for a while, and then I won't have a choice. The allergies have set in, and my nose is a little runny already. The tickle in my throat will be next, followed by a full-on head cold. Please join with me in praying that it doesn't happen.

Along with the threat of illness, I'm losing control of my emotions. Little things that I should be weathering with a smile (and possibly a snarky comment inside my head) are erupting into huge crying spells.

The song in my head tonight is an interesting choice. I've been working on the Brahms Requiem (Ein Deutch Requiem) for the choir I sing with at the local university. The 8th grade girls are working on Brahms's "In Stiller Nacht" for region auditions, and I've been teaching it. But the song in my head, is just somewhat Brahms-like. "The Blue Bird" is a piece I have sung for a friend's doctoral choral conducting recital. It was tremendously exciting to sing the close harmonies and intense soft sounds. That's the song in my head tonight. I find it absolutely breathtaking.

(If you really want to hear it, here's a link to a video of the Brahms Requiem. It's over an hour and fifteen minutes, so it's the whole thing. Maybe get a cup of coffee and go potty before you settle in for this one!)

Girlfriends Weekend

This past weekend I got to go to my friend's house along with five other friends (for a total of seven ladies), and we just spent time together talking, and talking. There was always talking. I think there were about 3 minutes or so at dinner on Saturday night when we were all stuffing our faces with fajitas that we weren't talking, but other than that, and the movie, we were talking non-stop. We saw "The Help." It's a very good movie. It was hard for us to watch, as a bunch of mommies. There are some extreme examples of bad parenting in that movie, and it made us all sad to see.

After the movie, we went to dinner and ate fajitas. After the dinner, on the way back to K's house, somehow we erupted in a food fight with Nerds and Reese's Pieces being thrown around the car. I laughed so hard I cried. That's one of those moments all seven of us will remember for the rest of our lives.

I had a great time lounging by the pool at K's house. Her husband and she have worked all summer putting it in, with the help of some contractors. They did much of the work themselves. It's a saltwater pool, rather than a chlorine pool. I really liked it. You could swim in it with your eyes open without it hurting your eyes. Very cool.

It amazes me every time we get together (this was probably the 3rd or 4th time) that the seven of us all get along. We're very different from each other, but we have a mutual love and respect for one another. We are bonded by common experience, having each been pregnant at the same time as at least one of the others in the group, and having shared some profound life changes together. And we share a common faith in God.

It was worth the sleep deprivation to have spent the weekend with my girlfriends. I am blessed to have them in my life.

Children's Choir

Tonight was the first night of children's choir at our church. It's the first time we have had it on Wednesday night. As a church we have eliminated the Sunday night stuff at the church, and moved the kids' programming to Wednesday. We'll see how this works out tomorrow morning for my munchkins. Getting them up for school might be a little harder than usual. It may sound like I'm complaining, but really, I'm up at church on Wednesday nights anyway, so it's no big deal. This schedule really does help me and I'm glad to get to relax on Sunday afternoons.

That's not what I really want to blog about.

I am helping this year in a class with the most amazing children's choir director ever. I can make such a statement from a position of knowledge and experience. This wonderful woman, Mrs. M, was my choir director when I was in children's choir as an elementary school kid. I have seen many children's choir directors in my day, and many church choir directors as well. Never has there been a more perfect combination of the two in one as this lovely woman. I was mainly sitting in the back, observing her as she worked with the students, establishing an atmosphere of respect and reverence. I was watching. And worshiping.

It surprised me.

I don't know why I should be surprised. God is at work.

At one point in the rehearsal, Mrs. M stopped what she was doing. She had forgotten what she had planned to do next. Rather than just fake it for a minute, she stopped the lesson, confessed that she hadn't written it down, and prayed aloud for the Lord to guide her through the lesson. I was moved by her humility before God, the two of us adult workers in the room, and the children. I was moved by her wisdom to seek God's direction for the next step rather than to trust herself and her own ability to teach. I was moved by her unashamed faith. There was no doubt that God would lead her to the next thing that needed to happen in tonight's rehearsal.

In that moment, as she prayed, tears came to my eyes. I was pricked with conviction. How many times do I get stuck in a lesson and I plow on ahead in my own strength? Too many.

I don't know if any of the kids really got anything from that moment, but I sure did. Praise God. It was such a personal moment in which the Lord revealed His might through Mrs. M's weakness. It may have been just for me. And that makes it all the more special. The God of the universe wants a personal relationship with me. He keeps revealing Himself to me, tugging at my heart, revealing what I have not yet yielded to Him. And He's not going to stop. I praise the Lord for that too!

Right now in my life I feel almost like a teenager in love. I feel like God is wooing me. And I know that He is because over and over again in the Word of God Jesus is said to be the bridegroom coming for His bride, the church. It's overwhelming me, and I never want it to stop.

Of course I realize, as a married woman now for over 12 years, that the feelings come and go, but the commitment is there regardless of emotions. I know this "feeling" isn't going to go on indefinitely. There will be times when I won't be able to see or feel God in my life, and it's in those times that I'll have to remember this, and trust that He is still there. But maybe next time when that happens it won't be so long as the last time.

Tonight I have a song in my head, placed there by my beloved God: "As the Bridegroom to His Chosen," by John Rutter. The CD I have with this song is of Rutter directing his choir, The Cambridge Singers, but this youtube clip of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir is pretty good too. I pray you feel the Lord's gentle wooing of your spirit as you listen.

So Much for Balance!

I knew as soon as I put it out there, something would come along, and then I'd fail.

Well, I haven't completely failed yet. Yesterday Hubby and I got smart phones. So the two of us spent most of the afternoon and all of the evening configuring apps, editing our contacts, transferring things from our old dinky phones to the new awesome phones that don't have phone numbers yet because we're waiting on the phone companies to port our numbers from the old to the new phones. In this process we're eliminating our home phone. We're joining the young people in their technology revolution.

I only played Angry Birds for about 45 minutes. Okay, so it was more like an hour.

So here's the song in my head. Enjoy!

Finding Balance?

A couple months back I blogged about my facebook quandary. I think I'm starting to find balance with it. I haven't quit facebook. In fact I don't know how much I've really cut back. Starting back to school has put a big cut on my "free" time, of course. But of the time I still have, I am spending some of it on facebook.

I am blogging more. That's obvious. I'm happier blogging than I am with facebook. I think there's something to that...

I'm reading more. Actual books. I like reading books. I'd probably like an e-reader too, but I'm not there yet in adopting new technology. I've been to the library more in the last two months than in the previous two years put together. That's a good thing.

I feel like I have a better attitude about life in general. I am more willing to do things that need to be done. (I'm typing this as the dryer is buzzing... I guess I need to get up and take care of it!)

I guess I'm finding balance. I'm still a little afraid to declare victory. I feel like I may just fail and make a liar of myself...