I have been a singer since my earliest memories. There is even video evidence. Just one video of me as a very little kid, singing the books of the New Testament song my mom taught me, and also "The B-I-B-L-E". In "The B-I-B-L-E" my brother kept crawling over to me, and I had to stop singing to boss him (he was probably 7 or 8 months old which would make me less than 3 years old), and every time I came back into the song (sung a capella), I'd come back in a higher key. At the very end, I'm straining to sing the melody, which goes up at the end, and I make a very funny worried face. It's one of my cutest moments, certainly the cutest preserved on film (then transferred to VHS, and now on DVD).
Not too long after that video, I began playing the piano, with my mother as my first teacher. "Pumpkin Pie" was my first song out of the old Bastian series, and we made pumpkin pies to celebrate. I still remember the song, two phrases long. I have continued playing piano on and off through the years. I now play nearly every day at work. Comes with the territory in choir.
In middle school, I joined the band and played the clarinet. Initially the band director put me on percussion because I could read the notes on the staff already. I could play melodies on the xylophone, which was to me like playing the piano with two fingers. Once I got into 6th grade band, I was terribly bored with snare drum, and the other girl percussionist who would frequently hit me on the legs with her drumsticks, so I begged and pleaded with Mr. P to let me change to clarinet. We had my aunt's clarinet borrowed already, so I played "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" for him and he let me change after the first 6 weeks of school.
It wasn't until my sophomore year of high school that I rediscovered my first instrument. My voice. I joined choir and was in both band and choir from then through my senior year. In college I took the vocal track all the way, not even looking at my clarinet unless I was teaching the instruments of the orchestra to my elementary students back at the very beginning of my teaching career.
Today I took some time to visit one of my feeder schools, an elementary near one of the middle schools where I teach. The 5th grade students there will be coming up as next year's 6th grade class. I went at the invitation of the music teacher there (who I've known personally for more than 20 years) to demonstrate my instrument. It was great fun. I have never really done that. It seems like every other time I've sung for an audience it has been either in church, where the focus is on God, or in an ensemble where no one would really be able to hear just my instrument. I played a couple recordings for them: Brahms Requiem which I performed last Fall, so they could hear an orchestra and choir together, and a recording of an a capella arrangement of "And So It Goes," by Billy Joel on which I was singing alto. I also performed two solos: the Mark Hayes arrangement of Simple Gifts from his folk song collection, and just a snippet of "Tomorrow" from Annie. I wanted the students to hear different vocal styles. I was basically showing off for about 15 minutes with a Q & A session at the end. So much fun...
I thank God for my voice. I hope and pray that it will bring Him glory all the days of my life.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
Sad Stockings
Last year when I put the Christmas stockings away, unbeknownst to me, there was something wet in the bin, and all year long, the handmade sequined and beaded stockings, two of which I made for my children, and two of which were made by my Aunt Rosemary, were growing mold all over them.
Today I took them to the dry-cleaners to see if they can be cleaned and saved.
I also bought four new stockings online. Not handmade. Not sequined and beaded with love. But they will be embroidered with our names. We can't have another Christmas without stockings. If the old ones survive, I'll have my mother keep them at her house with the others that all match.
You see, everyone in the "A" family has a stocking that looks like those old ones. Mine was made for me when I was a baby, my husband's made for him when we got married, and the children's were made for them when they were born, or near their first Christmas. I made one for my sister-in-law when she was engaged to my brother. It's a big tradition thing in the "A" family.
If those stockings are no more, it will make me very sad. I may end up making four more... I'd rather not have to. My brother and his wife are expecting a baby, so I know the pattern will be brought out to make one for the new baby, and what's FOUR more while we're at it?!
Sigh.
Today I took them to the dry-cleaners to see if they can be cleaned and saved.
I also bought four new stockings online. Not handmade. Not sequined and beaded with love. But they will be embroidered with our names. We can't have another Christmas without stockings. If the old ones survive, I'll have my mother keep them at her house with the others that all match.
You see, everyone in the "A" family has a stocking that looks like those old ones. Mine was made for me when I was a baby, my husband's made for him when we got married, and the children's were made for them when they were born, or near their first Christmas. I made one for my sister-in-law when she was engaged to my brother. It's a big tradition thing in the "A" family.
If those stockings are no more, it will make me very sad. I may end up making four more... I'd rather not have to. My brother and his wife are expecting a baby, so I know the pattern will be brought out to make one for the new baby, and what's FOUR more while we're at it?!
Sigh.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
It's not what you think.
No, really. It's not.
My husband commented to me after reading my last post that he thought it would make my readers think we're having marital problems. We're not.
We are still in the midst of this conflict (the two of us united on one side of it) that was dropped in our laps before Christmas. It's starting to feel like the other party (or parties, I'm not even completely sure) is (are?) blowing us off. Resolution must not be high on the priority list.
I'm getting hacked off that this conflict was brought to us before Christmas (December 14th, to be specific), and that this hasn't yet been resolved. If it could have waited, then why wasn't it brought to us after the holidays? Instead, it was unleashed on us, and we have been stewing over it for weeks now.
That's just not cool. I don't care who you are or what the problem is. If you bring up a conflict, and it requires a scheduled meeting to resolve it, then MAKE TIME FOR THE MEETING. I'm just sayin. It's really unkind to blow it off after bringing it up.
My husband commented to me after reading my last post that he thought it would make my readers think we're having marital problems. We're not.
We are still in the midst of this conflict (the two of us united on one side of it) that was dropped in our laps before Christmas. It's starting to feel like the other party (or parties, I'm not even completely sure) is (are?) blowing us off. Resolution must not be high on the priority list.
I'm getting hacked off that this conflict was brought to us before Christmas (December 14th, to be specific), and that this hasn't yet been resolved. If it could have waited, then why wasn't it brought to us after the holidays? Instead, it was unleashed on us, and we have been stewing over it for weeks now.
That's just not cool. I don't care who you are or what the problem is. If you bring up a conflict, and it requires a scheduled meeting to resolve it, then MAKE TIME FOR THE MEETING. I'm just sayin. It's really unkind to blow it off after bringing it up.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
The Sticky Wicket
Dear Reader(s?),
I have alluded in the past to my blog silence having something to do with things I cannot discuss in such a public forum. Lately this has been the case, along with being incredibly busy.
I will not discuss the conflict which weighs on me, as it its unresolved nature makes it delicate and way out of bounds. I can, however, discuss things that I have been thinking as a result of what is weighing on me.
One is a question of trust and submission. If we have perfect trust, then submission is not a difficulty. The problem with submission arises when trust is in doubt. The temptation to be unsubmissive only arises when rather than trusting the authority, one trusts in ones self more. There are two non-negotiables clearly spelled out in scripture that instantly come to my mind. One is wives to husbands (Ephesians 5:22). Duh. The other is in paying taxes to the government (Matthew 22:21). In neither case are we required to trust the authority, but rather to submit to the authority. And in both cases, as mentioned on those verses, it is really God to whom we submit, and not men. Men are not completely trustworthy. Only God is. As a wife, when I doubt my husband, I can trust God and submit to my husband with peace in my heart. The husband is who will answer to God for whatever it is anyway.
Lately I have been in conversations with a non-believer co-worker of mine about Christianity. He is involved in a situation with someone claiming to be a Christian who is not acting Christ-like. All of this cements his attitude that Christianity is just another set of rules like every other world religion. This badly behaving Christian is justifying his bad behavior by "balancing the scale," claiming to have permission to sin in one area because he has done other things that are good to balance it out. I'm only hearing about all this second-hand, and I don't know this other person at all, so I can't speak to his actions and his words. What I do know of Christianity that sets it apart from every other world religion is that Jesus came along to tell us that our sin was not only what did, but in could also include our thoughts. In the sermon on the mount, Jesus explained that it wasn't enough to abstain from adultery. It IS adultery to look on a woman in lust. This is the sticky wicket. We are accountable for our thoughts. This makes people upset. This turns just about all of us into Pharisees at some point or other. We want to point to the good things we do, and the bad that we don't do, and get all high and mighty, boastful and proud, and claim ourselves to be "good enough." This is why Paul declared his righteousness to be filthy rags compared to the holiness of God. Because he knew that he couldn't keep from sinning in his thoughts. God knows that our thoughts lead, guide and direct our actions. Jesus is trying to teach us, to help us, to head off sin before it becomes sin.
So in the case of my unresolved conflict, I am here to confess that I have failed utterly in keeping my mind from feeding a bad attitude. I will likely fail again. But I am sure that whether I am wronged or in the wrong, I am called to the Philippians 4:8 "Whatever."
"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philippians 4:8
It is no small task to find that which is true, noble, right, pure, lovely and admirable, excellent or praiseworthy when in the midst of conflict.
The song in my head is rather embarrassing. I wish is was something else. After a deep post like this, I'm ending with a stupid song that I don't even like... Well, here it is. This dumb song. Ugh. I wish I knew what it meant. From what I can tell of reading the lyrics online, it's about a kid who finds a gun in his dad's closet, and not necessarily about someone on a shooting rampage, which was my first thought when I listened close enough to the chorus to be appalled by it.
Hubby came in while I was writing this post and found the dog tucked under my lap desk, thought it was cute and snapped this picture. The blanket on my lap is one I finished crocheting yesterday. Way earlier than usual, after dinner tonight I got into my pajamas. It was a good choice after stuffing myself with Freebirds. (Why do I have this compulsive need to explain myself?? What's WRONG with me? Why am I so defensive?)
I have alluded in the past to my blog silence having something to do with things I cannot discuss in such a public forum. Lately this has been the case, along with being incredibly busy.
I will not discuss the conflict which weighs on me, as it its unresolved nature makes it delicate and way out of bounds. I can, however, discuss things that I have been thinking as a result of what is weighing on me.
One is a question of trust and submission. If we have perfect trust, then submission is not a difficulty. The problem with submission arises when trust is in doubt. The temptation to be unsubmissive only arises when rather than trusting the authority, one trusts in ones self more. There are two non-negotiables clearly spelled out in scripture that instantly come to my mind. One is wives to husbands (Ephesians 5:22). Duh. The other is in paying taxes to the government (Matthew 22:21). In neither case are we required to trust the authority, but rather to submit to the authority. And in both cases, as mentioned on those verses, it is really God to whom we submit, and not men. Men are not completely trustworthy. Only God is. As a wife, when I doubt my husband, I can trust God and submit to my husband with peace in my heart. The husband is who will answer to God for whatever it is anyway.
Lately I have been in conversations with a non-believer co-worker of mine about Christianity. He is involved in a situation with someone claiming to be a Christian who is not acting Christ-like. All of this cements his attitude that Christianity is just another set of rules like every other world religion. This badly behaving Christian is justifying his bad behavior by "balancing the scale," claiming to have permission to sin in one area because he has done other things that are good to balance it out. I'm only hearing about all this second-hand, and I don't know this other person at all, so I can't speak to his actions and his words. What I do know of Christianity that sets it apart from every other world religion is that Jesus came along to tell us that our sin was not only what did, but in could also include our thoughts. In the sermon on the mount, Jesus explained that it wasn't enough to abstain from adultery. It IS adultery to look on a woman in lust. This is the sticky wicket. We are accountable for our thoughts. This makes people upset. This turns just about all of us into Pharisees at some point or other. We want to point to the good things we do, and the bad that we don't do, and get all high and mighty, boastful and proud, and claim ourselves to be "good enough." This is why Paul declared his righteousness to be filthy rags compared to the holiness of God. Because he knew that he couldn't keep from sinning in his thoughts. God knows that our thoughts lead, guide and direct our actions. Jesus is trying to teach us, to help us, to head off sin before it becomes sin.
So in the case of my unresolved conflict, I am here to confess that I have failed utterly in keeping my mind from feeding a bad attitude. I will likely fail again. But I am sure that whether I am wronged or in the wrong, I am called to the Philippians 4:8 "Whatever."
"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philippians 4:8
It is no small task to find that which is true, noble, right, pure, lovely and admirable, excellent or praiseworthy when in the midst of conflict.
The song in my head is rather embarrassing. I wish is was something else. After a deep post like this, I'm ending with a stupid song that I don't even like... Well, here it is. This dumb song. Ugh. I wish I knew what it meant. From what I can tell of reading the lyrics online, it's about a kid who finds a gun in his dad's closet, and not necessarily about someone on a shooting rampage, which was my first thought when I listened close enough to the chorus to be appalled by it.
Hubby came in while I was writing this post and found the dog tucked under my lap desk, thought it was cute and snapped this picture. The blanket on my lap is one I finished crocheting yesterday. Way earlier than usual, after dinner tonight I got into my pajamas. It was a good choice after stuffing myself with Freebirds. (Why do I have this compulsive need to explain myself?? What's WRONG with me? Why am I so defensive?)
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Goodbye, 2011!
I've been thinking about this year. It's been a good one, generally speaking.
My girls are both growing healthy and strong.
Big Girl is dependable, strong, trustworthy, smart, creative, imaginative, curious, and sweet. She has grown about 4 inches or so in the last year. The top of her head now reaches the bottom of my neck. For all the worries we had when she was a preschooler, they have been allayed for the most part. Her adolescence will bring new challenges, for sure, but I don't worry about her. We'll cross the challenging bridges when we get to them.
Little Girl is strong and creative. She sees things in her own way. She challenges us and her teachers. This year has been a hard one for her. She struggles to fit into the mold of school, and what is expected of her there. Routine is difficult for her. She forgets things all the time. (I can relate!) She frequently leaves a mess in her wake.
Hubby has had a good end to 2011. There are many factors bringing this on, but I don't know what he'd like me to share and what he'd prefer me to keep private, so I'll keep most things private.
Something I know he's made public is his weight loss. He and I both have been using the Lose It! app to lose weight. He's lost more than 20 lbs in the last three months or so and I've lost six or seven in two months. We're helping each other and doing it together. I'm sure that's a big part of our success. I'm fitting into clothes I haven't worn in years and that's fun. I like my body more in the last few weeks than I have in years.
In addition to making progress on our personal goals of getting smaller, Hubby and I have been helping each other carry out other goals too. Seems like many things around the house that have needed to be done are getting done. We had our front door and back door replaced. Both of them leaked air, and we tried to fix that with weather stripping, but then the door wouldn't open and close properly. The back door was replaced with a 3/4 window so that a dog door would fit in the bottom for Daisy. The front door was replaced with a security door that has an integrated locking mechanism in the top, middle and bottom of the door. They both seal up, and open and close properly. Both came unfinished, and I've been painting them and finishing them this week.
The new front door's handle was built in, and we got to pick the finish for it, but not much else. Shiny brass knob was not one of the choices, and we didn't want that anyway, so we decided to change all the doorknobs in the house. Now they're nice satin nickel levers like this, only I flipped them over the other way so that it matches the front door a little better.
Accomplishing projects has always been good for me. This week has been very different from the past when I'd be knee-deep into project mode. It has struck me more than a few times that Hubby has been supporting me this week. Three days this week he went out to gather what was needed for this or that project, he did laundry and cooked or brought home dinner. I think the two of us are working together better than ever before. It's a very good thing.
I am thankful for the many blessings God has given us this past year. May God bless you in 2012!
My girls are both growing healthy and strong.
Big Girl is dependable, strong, trustworthy, smart, creative, imaginative, curious, and sweet. She has grown about 4 inches or so in the last year. The top of her head now reaches the bottom of my neck. For all the worries we had when she was a preschooler, they have been allayed for the most part. Her adolescence will bring new challenges, for sure, but I don't worry about her. We'll cross the challenging bridges when we get to them.
Little Girl is strong and creative. She sees things in her own way. She challenges us and her teachers. This year has been a hard one for her. She struggles to fit into the mold of school, and what is expected of her there. Routine is difficult for her. She forgets things all the time. (I can relate!) She frequently leaves a mess in her wake.
Hubby has had a good end to 2011. There are many factors bringing this on, but I don't know what he'd like me to share and what he'd prefer me to keep private, so I'll keep most things private.
Something I know he's made public is his weight loss. He and I both have been using the Lose It! app to lose weight. He's lost more than 20 lbs in the last three months or so and I've lost six or seven in two months. We're helping each other and doing it together. I'm sure that's a big part of our success. I'm fitting into clothes I haven't worn in years and that's fun. I like my body more in the last few weeks than I have in years.
In addition to making progress on our personal goals of getting smaller, Hubby and I have been helping each other carry out other goals too. Seems like many things around the house that have needed to be done are getting done. We had our front door and back door replaced. Both of them leaked air, and we tried to fix that with weather stripping, but then the door wouldn't open and close properly. The back door was replaced with a 3/4 window so that a dog door would fit in the bottom for Daisy. The front door was replaced with a security door that has an integrated locking mechanism in the top, middle and bottom of the door. They both seal up, and open and close properly. Both came unfinished, and I've been painting them and finishing them this week.
The new front door's handle was built in, and we got to pick the finish for it, but not much else. Shiny brass knob was not one of the choices, and we didn't want that anyway, so we decided to change all the doorknobs in the house. Now they're nice satin nickel levers like this, only I flipped them over the other way so that it matches the front door a little better.
Accomplishing projects has always been good for me. This week has been very different from the past when I'd be knee-deep into project mode. It has struck me more than a few times that Hubby has been supporting me this week. Three days this week he went out to gather what was needed for this or that project, he did laundry and cooked or brought home dinner. I think the two of us are working together better than ever before. It's a very good thing.
I am thankful for the many blessings God has given us this past year. May God bless you in 2012!
Saturday, December 3, 2011
December Already?!
November didn't even make a blip on this blog. Oh well...
So much going on lately. Since I last posted, Big Girl had a birthday, and birthday party, Thanksgiving came and went. We've had our front and back doors replaced on the house, and I've also lost 5 pounds. I went out of town for a training seminar that lasted three days. The day I got back was a concert for my tiny school's choir, and I had missed the last three days of rehearsal.
I wish my heart was where it was early on in the school year. Things are still going very well at school. My attitude just isn't at that place where it was before. I know the difference is me because God hasn't gone anywhere.
Psalm 63 has been with me this week. Specifically, this version of it. That's what my phone plays to wake me up on Sundays. (Every other day, my phone plays this good morning song.) My work trip just happened in the last week, and as I was discussing with my roommates about what time to get up in the morning, the alarm clock songs came into my head. Psalm 63 just would not let go.
I need to get back to the habit of meditating on the Psalms. That was so good for me.
So much going on lately. Since I last posted, Big Girl had a birthday, and birthday party, Thanksgiving came and went. We've had our front and back doors replaced on the house, and I've also lost 5 pounds. I went out of town for a training seminar that lasted three days. The day I got back was a concert for my tiny school's choir, and I had missed the last three days of rehearsal.
I wish my heart was where it was early on in the school year. Things are still going very well at school. My attitude just isn't at that place where it was before. I know the difference is me because God hasn't gone anywhere.
Psalm 63 has been with me this week. Specifically, this version of it. That's what my phone plays to wake me up on Sundays. (Every other day, my phone plays this good morning song.) My work trip just happened in the last week, and as I was discussing with my roommates about what time to get up in the morning, the alarm clock songs came into my head. Psalm 63 just would not let go.
I need to get back to the habit of meditating on the Psalms. That was so good for me.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Unworthy
This morning in our church worship service, I led out in singing "Revelation Song." I have sung this song before, and I didn't really think about it much until it was going on right then on the stage.
It wasn't very far into the song before I was overwhelmed with how very UNworthy I am. And there I was, in front of everyone, leading in a song about how worthy GOD is.
I am a pretty good singer, especially by church standards. And this gets me into trouble. If I ever forget what my voice is for, like if I start to take pride in it for my own sake and puff up myself, it's completely worthless. I know God can use the most unworthy of vessels in His own good pleasure (like Balaam's donkey, for example), so in that way, if what I am singing is pointing others towards God, it's not entirely in vain. But it is far better when I remember my place in light of HIS holiness and HIS worthiness, and I see nothing of worth in myself apart from Him. My righteousness is filthy rags. That's why I need a savior. I need that Lamb who was slain and now sits on the throne. I need the Holy One who was, and is, and is to come.
This thought overwhelmed me this morning as I sang, and thankfully the tears didn't come until after the song was over.
I bet you can guess what song is in my head. Yeah, still that one.
It wasn't very far into the song before I was overwhelmed with how very UNworthy I am. And there I was, in front of everyone, leading in a song about how worthy GOD is.
I am a pretty good singer, especially by church standards. And this gets me into trouble. If I ever forget what my voice is for, like if I start to take pride in it for my own sake and puff up myself, it's completely worthless. I know God can use the most unworthy of vessels in His own good pleasure (like Balaam's donkey, for example), so in that way, if what I am singing is pointing others towards God, it's not entirely in vain. But it is far better when I remember my place in light of HIS holiness and HIS worthiness, and I see nothing of worth in myself apart from Him. My righteousness is filthy rags. That's why I need a savior. I need that Lamb who was slain and now sits on the throne. I need the Holy One who was, and is, and is to come.
This thought overwhelmed me this morning as I sang, and thankfully the tears didn't come until after the song was over.
I bet you can guess what song is in my head. Yeah, still that one.
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