Borderline Disrespect?

Big Girl is growing up. She's closer to 8 years old now than 7, and her intellect is maturing so much. She is understanding humor in a brand new way, and even getting many of the jokes in her VeggieTales videos she had missed as a little girl. As a result, they're getting more play in recent days than they did in the last few years.

Another thing that's happening is she's getting a little bit of an attitude. I can see that in a typical child her age (like her sister will be in a couple years) that the attitude factor would be major. With Big Girl it's like a very subtle undercurrent. Big Girl is the most indirect individual I have ever known in my whole life. So when she's developing an attitude, she doesn't come out and mouth off. That's not her style.

Here's an example of what I'm talking about. A few weeks ago, after school was out, and I had been going back up to the school cleaning out the choir room storage closet. In the late afternoon on just such a day, I was sitting on the couch with my computer on my lap, watching TV. I had worked at school for about 5 hours, with both of my girls playing in the room while I worked. Big Girl was wanting to watch one of her shows on the DVR, which is only on the TV I was watching. She sits on the couch a little ways down from me and says, "I've noticed that you've been watching TV a lot and playing on your computer a lot. That's kind of lazy."

"Really??" It was just about all I could do to not either laugh or yell at her. Instead of yelling, I calmly asked her, "What was I doing this morning? Didn't we go to [insert school name here] this morning and you played while I worked cleaning out the closet? Was that lazy?"

"No." Her blunder began to register, and she was on the edge of crying.

"Yes, I'm watching TV and playing computer right now, but I've worked for 5 hours today. What work have you done today? Don't you just want me to stop watching TV so YOU can watch what you want?"

She went away crying just a little. At dinner that evening, Hubby made sure to ask Big Girl if I was being lazy when I made the dinner she was eating. Big Girl got very upset and started crying. "Why are you crying?" he asked her.

"I'm so ashamed." And rightfully so. It was a big lesson.

This scene has unfolded a few different times in a few different ways, but each time, I am careful to call a spade a spade pretty gently. Sometimes I'll let her have the remote control, and sometimes I won't, but I'll let her know when she's doing that indirect, manipulative thing. Her most common approach is to ask me if I'm really watching whatever is on the TV. That's a pretty polite way to go about it, I suppose.

I love my Big Girl so very much.