Sicky Holiday

I am a big baby when I'm sick. I know it. I'm OK with that. What's worse than being sick is being sick over a holiday.

Wednesday I was the stuffy-head, sinus headache, dizzy when I stood up kind of sick. But it didn't really hit me until the afternoon.

I went out Wednesday mid-morning to meet a friend for lunch. I took the girls to a Chick-fil-a further into town to meet my friend in the middle, half-way for both of us. She brought her 20-month-old son, who I had never met. This friend and I hadn't spent any time together in 10 years or so. (I can't remember if the last time I saw her was before I got married or after, but no matter, it's been FOREVER!) We've reconnected through facebook (I LOVE facebook, it's the best online invention EVER!). While I was waiting for my friend to arrive, another friend, a mutual friend came into Chick-fil-a with her daughter and son. We had a little mini-reunion. The manager of the store was going around passing out little balls to all the children, and even gave us three moms milkshakes in honor of our impomptu reunion. It was really nice.

Of course, Little Girl pooped her pants, and we had to leave. Story of my life.

When I got home, I hosed off my Little Girl and all three of us girls had "rest" time. Little Girl and I slept for two and a half hours. What a nice rest. When I woke up, I felt awful. My sickness had really settled in at that point. I could handle being upright in my chair, so long as my fist and elbow could prop up my head. I was really quite pitiful. I did take medicine, I was doing what I could to find relief. It just wasn't really in the cards for me.

Thursday morning, I was really feeling a little better than I had been the day before. We had planned to go to my mother-in-law's house for the day, spending as much of it as possible up there. I got a bag together with pj's for the girls, extra pairs of pull-ups for Little Girl, and blankets for them to cuddle with on the way home, another bag with a dish and the ingredients for my contribution to the big meal which I didn't have the energy to put together the day before, and another bag of outgrown clothes to pass on to my little nieces. We got ourselves out the door at 9:18, only 18 minutes off from the target leave time, a relative success. I grabbed a Coke Zero on my way out the door. Little did I know that would be the last caffiene I would get for the rest of the day. I forgot to take my decongestant. Bad move.

When we got there, I joined in the meal prep with my mother- and sister-in-law, threw my yummy corn dish together, and generally tried to help without getting in the way. Those times are fun times. If you're going to have to work in the kitchen, you might as well do it with 4 or 5 women, all laughing and carrying on and having a good time.

Grandmom, my mother-in-law's mother, now 86 years old, was also there, and my sister-in-law's mother, Linda, as well. Grandmom is one of my favorite people. Since even before marrying my Hubby, she's been like my own grandmother. Sadly, she hasn't been quite the same since her stroke 3 and a half years ago, and doesn't remember things, and doesn't want to talk anymore. She's still a very sweet lady, but her spark is gone. Linda was widowed when her son was in college, before he and my sister-in-law got together. Ever since they married, Linda has been included in our family's gatherings, as her son is an only child, and when he's with us and our family for whatever holidays, she would be alone. She's a lovely person, and I'm glad she comes and joins us.

We had a lovely meal of turkey and ham, my corn pudding, green beans, spinach salad with strawberries and pecans. Much to the chagrin of my husband and Grandmom, there was no traditional mac & cheese on the menu. In it's place was a Paula Deen potato dish, which was yummy, but not something my picky Hubby would eat. He also doesn't eat ham or the corn pudding. He just doesn't know what's good.

The kids present were my two girls, and my nieces, Leslie and Kenna. Leslie is 4, but she's tiny. She's been tiny her whole life. This year there was much celebration that she was actually ON the growth chart, at 15th percentile for height and 20th percentile for weight. She's wearing 2T clothes, but really needs 3T for length. So she either wears highwaters that stay on , or pants that are long enough, but continually falling down. Poor girl. And Kenna is a much more normal-sized 2-year-old. She's also wearing 2T clothes. Both girls are very sweet. We had all four of them sitting together at the "kids' table" this year, and that worked out pretty well. Our girls ate most of their food, and didn't fuss too much. What more could we ask?

The afternoon was spent watching Dallas Cowboys football, alternating with HGTV when the men fell asleep. Hubby fixed some stuff on my mother-in-law's computer. (He is the best free tech support anywhere!) The two men also got out my mother-in-law's Christmas trees for her. They were erected in their places, but not decorated. The little girls never took naps. That was a problem later.

Throughout the day, my headache was growing and growing. It wasn't until the mid afternoon that I found out that I had been drinking decaf tea all day. No wonder. I need my caffiene. By dinner time, I was really hurting.

My mother-, sister- and brother-in-law, Hubby and I all played a game together, taking a break to feed the fussing children dinner. The no-nap day was a problem for Kenna. The wheels were coming off the cart for her. She was really cranky, poor kid. Once the kids were fed, we finished our game, which ran into the big football game starting. All of my Hubby's family went to Texas A & M, and are all rabid Aggie fans, even when the team is bad, like this year. The UT/A & M game is a big deal every year, although this year UT has a really good team, and A & M has the worst team in 10 years, so the outcome hasn't been in question since the beginning of the season. About an hour into the game, Hubby said he didn't want to watch any more, and we started home.

By then my headache was screaming at me. I didn't want to hold my head up anymore. I rode the whole way home with my elbow on the passenger side window and my head resting on my fist. As we rode, I could feel my insides churning and churning. When we got home, I carried Little Girl up to her bed, and then I didn't want to go back downstairs. I felt so bad. I put on my pj's and went to bed. If only that were the end of the story... How much do you want to know? Is it enough to say that I was sick into the trash can twice? Probably. So that's all I'll say. And I went to bed, without ingesting the caffiene or the pain medication I so badly needed to relieve my headache.

And so far this morning, I haven't really tried to eat anything. But I've had most of a Coke Zero. I think I really need to eat. I guess that's next on the agenda. I really want to be well. Tomorrow we're having some dear friends over, and my parents too. We're going to have a good time playing games and eating, and I'm not going to be sick anymore. I'm going to will myself well.

To cleanse my head of the Weird Al kick I've been on lately, I put the old stand-by Fleming & John CD in the player in my car, The Way We Are. I love that CD. It's my absolute favorite of all time. Big Girl loves it too, and her favorite song is "I'm So Small," the rock version. They have 2 versions of it on the CD, and the other is jazz. I don't know which I like better, it depends on the mood I'm in. The song currently in my head, from that album is "The Pearl." Good stuff.

Nasty Poop Story

If you don't want to read a nasty poop story, then skip this post. You've been warned.

Just a little past noon I called Little Girl to come downstairs. She hadn't finished all of her sandwich, and she needed to go potty before nap. She didn't come right away. I should have known there was a reason.

I called her again and stood where I could see her coming down the upper half of the stairs. There's railing up to the landing, and I could see her coming through the railing. When I was certain she was on her way, I quit watching her and went about fixing my lunch, or something like that in the kitchen, I don't remember now. She went to the table where I had directed her to go, and I kept fiddling with my lunch.

*Sniff, sniff.* I smelled poop. "Did you poop in your pants?" I asked her. She denied it quickly. Then I noticed a little trail of something on the floor leading to her chair. I was pretty sure it was poop. "Did you poop in your pants?" I said with a distinct edge in my voice. Big eyes, turning on the pitiful puppy-dog show looked back at me as she nodded.

I started to follow the trail of poop back toward where she had come from and it led all the way to the stairs and all the way up to the second step below the landing. I lost it. She had let poop run down her leg inside her pants and come out all over the carpeted stairs. I am still horrified as I think of it.

I went back to the kitchen and ... I'd like to say that I calmly explained to her that her pooping in her pants and consequently on the floor was inappropriate and unacceptable, but that's not exactly how it went down. I was angry. She knew it.

I had to give myself a time out before I could deal with her, or cleaning up. So I ate my lunch. Not the most appetizing thing to do while there's "eau de poo" in the air, but I had to eat. The food was made, and besides, that's what I was doing BEFORE all that mess happened.

When I was a little calmer, I took her outside and began the clean-up process. The pant leg of her jeans was caked with poo, so I hosed the pants and panties off too. Then I turned the hose on my then naked daughter. Even after a good hose-down, I still found a spot of poo on her leg after we were inside.

Before letting her get comfortable and warm, I made her clean the floor. She mostly sat there with her paper towel crying, but she did wipe up a spot or two while I tackled the stairs. There are still spots on the stairs. I don't think they're coming off. I gave it everything I had in the way of cleaners, and elbow grease, friction and whatnot. I'm afraid there will forever be 5 spots on the stairs that won't come out. At least I got up the other 4 or so. After I'd done the stairs, I worked my way down the poop trail until I met up with where Little Girl was supposed to be cleaning.

After the tile was cleaned up, I took her upstairs and gave her a quick cold shower to get that spot off her leg, and also to use soap on her everywhere from the waist down. I did not wait for the water to warm up. I know it's not fun to be hosed off naked outside or given a cold shower, but it's not fun to clean up someone's poop off the floor either, and I'm not the one who pooped my pants, so I don't feel bad about it.

I hope this goes down as the worst story I ever get to tell about potty training. I don't think I could handle worse than this. SUPER GROSS!!!

I warned you. Poop story.

Thanksgiving Week Commences

Judging by the lack of comments, I'm wondering if anyone out there is reading lately... Well, I only do this blog thing partly for the reader anyway, so I guess that's OK. It's for me too. Not only to document our lives, but also for me to vent whatever is on my mind. Since it is a public venting, there are some things which must not come up here, and I'll just say that I'll put Sunday morning in that category this week, and move on.

Saturday I had an awesome opportunity to go to a ladies' tea, thrown by one of the biggest churches in town at a fancy downtown hotel ballroom. The speaker was Leslie Nease, who was a contestant on Survivor China (this video really shows what she's made of at the 6 minute marker). I only got to go because another lady who was invited to go couldn't, and offered the ticket to me through my mother. The two of us left my kids and both our husbands at her house and had a lovely afternoon of fellowship with ladies from all over the city. We ran into a few we knew (besides the ones we knew we'd see). It was really nice.

Sunday morning had its share of fiascos, but the one I can share is about Little Girl throwing up during the first service, and me having to take her home. I was singing and Hubby was playing drums, and it was either lose a singer or the drummer for the second service. That's a no brainer. I had to go. I was really bummed because it seems like I haven't had many opportunities to sing lately, and we had practiced and had all the parts worked out quite well. Little Girl never turned out to be sick. She just threw up the one time, and was fine for the rest of the day.

Sunday night there was a Thanksgiving meal at church. If you can imagine about 200+ families gathering for a pot-luck meal in a gym... the turkey and drinks were provided by the church, and everyone else brought side dishes and desserts. It was a really nice time. Big Girl and I went without Little Girl and Hubby. I'm so glad we did. God put me and Big Girl sitting across the table from a family I don't know all that well from our Sunday school class. Turns out she's an OT at the place where Big Girl is going to be evaluated December 10th! I was so glad to have someone be able to answer some questions, and put my mind at ease about some things.

God did that once before back before Big Girl was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. We had the referral from the pediatrician for the pediatric neurologist, and were very scared about the idea that we were facing autism. During that month between those doctor visits, we had a minister and his wife over for dinner. It turned out that the minister's wife was an austism specialist for the biggest school district around. It was a tremendous blessing to have her placed at our very own dinner table at a time when we needed her most. We had no idea what she did before that night. God did it all, just like this time. And we had no idea He was doing it. It was a happy surprise.

Today was just another day at home with Little Girl for me. We went grocery shopping. She peed her pants. We ate lunch. She pooed her pants. We went for a walk, mailed some bills, took Big Girl's snack up to the school that I'd forgotten this morning, came home and took a nap. No more accidents for the rest of the day. Big Girl had a playdate after school with one of her friends who had never been to our house before. It was mostly a successful playdate. It was hard for Big Girl to show deference to the friend whose choices didn't always match what she wanted to do, but that's a learning process for all little hostesses. Little Girl and I played outside with our fantastic neighbors. The neighbor's little girl who is about 16 months old came to me today for the first time. That'll warm anyone's heart! Having a tiny thing walk over and give a hug! It was really a highlight for me.

Tonight I spent some time making our Christmas newsletter. Last year I started doing it like a little newspaper. This year I did that again. I really enjoy playing with the format. The story about Little Girl has the best headline: Little Girl is learning to put poo in its place, only I used her name. Very funny. I'm laughing, even if I'm alone!

And with that, it's super late.

I have an older Weird Al song in my head today. "Albuquerque." It's very long. He used to only do it live until there was such an outcry from his fans that he put it on an the Running With Scissors album. The video is missing the last part of the song, but hey, at least I found it out there. You can get an idea of what's going through my head. That Weird Al is really a genius.

What do I do with Little Girl? - A Day in MY Life...

Original post at 8:59 AM - What do I do with the girl who refuses to poo in the potty? This morning Hubby caught her red-faced and grunting (standing, with pants on) and I pulled her pants down and plopped her on the pot. Since then, she's spent some time screaming, some time talking to herself, some time playing with everything in that tiny powder room that isn't tied down, but no time doing what she NEEDS to do. I am at a loss... HELP!

Updated at 9:10 AM - She put a tiny little bit of poo in the potty. I'm afraid to let her off the hook for fear that she's got more and it will end up in her pants. This is so difficult (I was going to say hard, but in this context, that means something else - HA!).

I apologize for the blow-by-blow over potty... I really didn't want this blog to be about that, but that's my life lately. I don't know any good potty songs, so you're spared in that way at least.

Updated at 3:13 PM - I made her stay on the pot until 10:00 this morning and threatened her with a spanking AND timeout if she messed her pants after I let her up. She and a friend played for a couple hours before the friend and her mommy had to leave. She still hasn't messed her pants since this morning, and that's good, but she hasn't done much in the potty either. This is the time of day when I tend to forget about potty, and she makes the most messes. Obviously it's on my mind at this moment, but will it be in 5 minutes?

I have had a very frustrating afternoon with her. She was in all-out refusal mode about nap, and then when it was time to go get Big Girl from school, she was slow to wake up and was in the worst mood ever. No trike today. She rode the stroller, screaming most of the way there. Since coming home, she and her sister have been at each other. I need a break. I don't want to hear any more "nyah" stuff, or crying, or whining, or I just may explode.

Updated at 5:25 PM - I just got a call from Hubby- he's working later than usual tonight, and is still at the office. Little Girl has both peed and pooped in her pants, and I just got done hosing her, wiping her, spanking her, and changing her pants. She now knows that spankings are part of the poop-in-her-pants territory, as this is the second or third time to do it. She has bent over her bed each time I've had to administer a poop spanking, and hasn't made that part difficult, which is a blessed change from every other thing I need to do with her lately, it seems. I've been putting her in the thicker panties made by Gerber, but since all of those are currently in the washer, she's wearing a pair of regular panties, just like her sister's, which won't hold diddly squat if it comes to that. I just can't put her in the LAST pair of pull-ups we have in the house. I need to save those for an outing. (I'm also in desperate need of a trip to the grocery store. I made Big Girls pb&j this morning with a hamburger bun because we ran out of bread!)

Now it's time to figure out what to scrounge for dinner to feed the children... *Sigh*

Updated at 9:10 PM - Hubby's coming home late wasn't so bad. He was only about a half hour or so from leaving when he called to tell me he'd be late. And he picked up dinner for the two of us on his way home. On top of that, he put the kids to bed for me. THANKS, Honey! I love you so much!

And for anyone concerned for the well-being of my children, they ate a really healthy meal, considering my lack of planning. They split the leftover grilled chicken (half a pretty big chicken breast), and had pasta and vegetables to go with it. The pasta was a previous homework assignment of Big Girl's. She had to find something at home and sort it by whatever rule she chose. She sorted "Wacky Mac" spirals by color. She wanted to eat the yellow noodles and Little Girl chose the orange noodles. There was about a serving in each little baggie. It worked out well, and Big Girl even let me mix the colors on the plates, as they were mixed in the cooking.

I think I'm getting to her...

Little Girl's antics of Sunday and Monday culminated in a gigantic battle just before bedtime Monday night. She had wet her pants (AGAIN!!). I wrestled her out of her wet panties (after she refused to remove them herself) as she threw a gigantic fit about it, and she went to bed screaming where I left her in a pull-up and her dirty shirt. I just couldn't fight her anymore. She cried herself to sleep. I told her that I love her and I don't want to fight her, but she has to obey. I took away her favorite doggie for the night. I know she hates that, but it was her choice. Take off the panties, or no doggie.

While Little Girl was screaming herself to sleep, Big Girl was very anxious about the noise her sister was making, which she usually is. I let her try sleeping with ear plugs for the first time. The next morning she said one of them fell out while she slept, but she was OK. When I put them in, I was very clear about only doing that once, and if she didn't like how they felt in her ears, she could take them out, but I wasn't going to put them back. She did great with it, I'm glad we have one more arrow in the quiver of things we can do to help her cope with her sensitivities at home. (I scheduled her OT evaluation yesterday, by the way.)

Back to Little Girl... having taken the doggie away Monday night set the stage for yesterday, which was a rather pleasant day. I think she went to time out 3 or 4 times, but there weren't any outright refusals to obey that escalated to the level of the tantrums I saw the two days before. One of those times she went to time out for being disrespectful and rude to me (saying "No!" and hitting her own leg when I said something she didn't like). Another time it was because she was playing in the toilet water. EEWW!! GROSS!! She knows better than that. If she were 18 months old, I'd chalk it up to childish curiosity, wash her hands and close the bathroom door. This is entirely different at 3 years and 8 months old. She was in the bathroom to USE it. She knows what it's for, and she knows not to do THAT.

She was convinced that I meant business when I laid down the law, so the battles were just way smaller, and less emotional (on her side, especially- I've been much better about this lately). We had a pleasant day, so to reward her, I let her ride her trike instead of the stroller to go pick up Big Girl from school. She didn't cry and scream when she was going uphill (which she has in the past), and she didn't gripe when I held the handle bars as we crossed the 3 streets between here and the school.

The day ended with a bath for the girls, and one of the typical battles Hubby and I face with Little Girl is when it's time to get out of the tub. She'd stay there all day 'til the water was cold enough to make her lips turn blue. I set the timer after I finished washing hair and bodies, so they'd have a reasonable amount of time to play. When the dinger dinged, Big Girl got out with no problems (as usual), and Little Girl resisted. I told her that if she wanted to sleep with her doggie, she had better get out without fighting me. She considered that for a little while, and then got out without a fight. We had a very nice bedtime last night. The perfect end to the day.

Last night Hubby came home early from working out of town. I hadn't mentioned that he would be away on the blog because he didn't know for sure how long he'd be gone. Turns out he was gone for one night, which is really no big deal. We had a nice time talking and catching up on the last two days.

Today I get a break from her, which is also a good thing. She is with my friend, giving me a "day off". It's hardly a day off today. The maid is here today. I'm the maid. Without anyone under my feet to undo what I've done within seconds of me doing it, with the music as loud as I want it to be, and without anyone screaming at the vacuum cleaner, I do a much better job of staying focused on the tasks involved in getting the house clean. (This is my lunch break, for anyone who may be thinking of judging me for spending a little time online.)

And with that, I better eat something before too much time gets away from me.

There are two songs today, both recent repeats, both Weird Al:

• "White and Nerdy" - It's been in Big Girl's head too. She was singing it around the house yesterday evening!
  
• "Pancreas" - I just starting thinking about anatomy generally, and it starts playing in my brain. Same with Hubby. We can't say "pancreas" anymore.
  

Why do these songs have to be SO catchy?

More Battles with Little Girl

I had an epic battle with Little Girl yesterday morning. I don't know what it is about Sundays... it's like she knows that there's a schedule, and she's determined to throw it all out of whack. I was able to keep my cool through it all, until she hit me. But that was after I'd already wrestled her into the shower, bathed her against her will, wrangled her out of the shower and into some dry clothes and sat on her (I didn't put weight on her) to get her shoes and socks on. And even when she hit me, I didn't unleash the fury that some would consider to have been warranted. I was lucky to get through all of that flailing without getting kicked in the teeth (just what I need right now...)! Once she was forcibly dressed to the shoes, she sat on her bed with her pink and blue doggies (her favorite bedtime friends), and stopped crying. We then had a little talk about how it didn't have to be that way, and I don't like fighting her, but if she's going to force the issue, I'll fight and I'll win. I love that girl, I really do. We made up before church. I'm so glad we did. I was able to go to church (20 minutes late) and not worry and fret all morning. Last night before we went to bed, Hubby and I each prayed over her. I did that a few weeks ago, and things were better for a while. It can't hurt anything, that's for sure.

Today is like a repeat show of yesterday, so maybe it has nothing to do with Sunday. The common thread these last 2 days is her pooping and/or peeing in her pants first thing in the morning. Today I took her outside and hosed her off. Yeah, it's 43 degrees out and the water is cold, but it didn't take long. I don't want it to be pleasant. And it wasn't. She didn't stop screaming until she had been inside for 10 minutes. The biggest difference from yesterday is that we don't have anywhere to go, and I'm not forcing the issue to get her cleaned up and dressed. Oh well. She's still pants-less, and I haven't really interacted with her since she stopped crying. I should probably do that...

What is the deal with her? Everyone I've talked with is equally baffled. I think we have an example of the untainted sin nature on display. She wants her own way and will not sit by quietly when she's not getting her way.

All weekend I had another Cake song in my head, "Hem of your Garment." The opening lyric reminds of Karli - "I'm intrinsically no good." Really that's true for all of us. We have darkness in our hearts until God changes that. And even after we've been redeemed, we're still intrinsically no good aside from the goodness of God.

Well-check from ... rhymes with WELL

I don't know what exactly made this well-check such a big horrible deal, but every little thing that could get Big Girl's anxiety flaring was setting her off. First of all, her teacher wanted to try and see how she'd do with a surprise pick-up. The other times she has had appointments, she's not been able to work, for watching the clock and waiting for me to pick her up. She did fine leaving the school with me. But that was where it ended. And I'm not so sure that the surprise pick-up wasn't a factor.

In the car on the way, Big Girl talked about the different rooms they have at the doctor's office. There's a jungle room, and a fire truck room, and many others. She wondered which room she'd get.

As soon as we got to the doctor's office waiting room, Big Girl had her eye on a book she wanted to look at, and another little boy got to it before she did. She was immediately in tears, and we're talking a loud "WAAAAHH!" kind of crying. When we were called back, she hadn't really calmed down any, despite my efforts to soothe her. The nurse asked her which room she wanted, the jungle room or the fire truck room, and she wanted the jungle room. When we got closer, the nurse realized there was already someone in the jungle room. More wailing.

I couldn't even hear the nurse asking me questions. We had to step out into the hall just to finish that part of the exam.

Little Girl and another 3-year-old were with us. I don't think the extra 3-year-old was really much of a factor, but Little Girl was definitely a problem. Everything she did set Big Girl off anew. It was a nightmare. It's easy to read that and think that I'm exaggerrating, but let me tell you, whatever you're imagining, it was every bit that bad, maybe even worse. At one point both Big Girl and Little Girl were both screaming. Little Girl got her little shoulder pinched more than once.

When the doctor came in to examine Big Girl, I took the little girls down the hall to the bathroom so the doctor could settle Big Girl, and so one of the little ones could use the facilities (unfortunately, not Little Girl). I actually carried Little Girl under my arm, kicking and screaming out of the room. When we came back, Big Girl was doing better, but not great. She was still very particular about everything the other girls did, which is her way, but it was amplified.

The doctor suggested I put Little Girl in some kind of daycare (mother's day out or preschool). She was concerned for me, seeing me obviously stressed. Let me tell you, that's pretty high on my priority list for next year. What's held us back so far is her lack of potty-trained-ness (which has not been going well at all lately, by the way).

After all that was over, I took the girls to grab some lunch (fast food lunch twice in one week, bad, I know) before taking Big Girl back to school. The girls did OK at lunch. Not great, but at least there wasn't crying. Why is it hard to get kids to eat? That baffles me sometimes. The little girls had to pack their fries up and finish them later because we had to get Big Girl back to school.

As we pulled into the parking lot at the school, Big Girl started crying because she thought she had missed out on working on some illustrating something or other, and her world was ending again. Trying to console her, I got down on my knees to look her in the face to tell her "there will be plenty of time to get your work done" and at that moment, the little girls were taking off across the crosswalk without me. I screamed "STOP!!" and they both came running back to me, across the crosswalk again. Stop does not mean come back!!! AAAGGGHHHH!!!! I didn't say that, I just thought it. I said something along those lines in a stern voice, but I didn't scream at them like my insides were screaming.

As we walked in the front doors of the school, Big Girl's class was lined up in the hall, just coming out of the cafeteria. Our timing was perfect. As far as her teacher is concerned, it was a beautiful and seamless transition. Never mind that most of the time I had her was so bad. It wasn't all the fault of the little ones either, though they didn't help. The thing with the book could have happened even if they hadn't been there.

It's been over an hour and a half since delivering Big Girl back to her class, and my stress level is still rather elevated from the sheer terror of our time at the doctor's office. I'm looking forward to putting the 3-year-olds down for a nap, and maybe getting one myself before time to pick up Big Girl and deliver the extra little girl to her mother.

Something's got to give. Right now it seems that my sanity is waning.

The good news (BEST NEWS EVER!!!) is that all the appointments are OVER! This week has just been INSANE with an apointment (or two) every day but yesterday. There is nothing on the calendar for next week involving doctors, dentists, or anything where they give you a confirmation call the day before. Ahhhhh...

I'm so frazzled right now I can't even think of the song in my head. Barney is on, and they just did the dumb "I love you" song to the tune of "This Old Man," so that's what's in my head at this very second. That's what I hate about Barney. They take perfectly good folk songs, or kid songs, and change the words. Bugs me to no end. But I digress... enough of that rant.

I Survived

I just got back from the dentist's office. I never saw the dentist, since I was just there for a cleaning. But really, I think a cleaning is worse than a dental exam anyway. The scraping and prodding lasts much longer.

Little Girl was with me, and she was delightful. Really. She did great! I made her a sack lunch so she could spend some of her wait-time eating. She's got to be the slowest eater on the planet, so I knew that would really take her a while, and it did. She sat on the floor next to the chair in the corner, and happily ate her sandwich and animal crackers. I also packed her a straw-style sippy cup of lemonade. After her meal, she turned to the bag of goodies I brought for her enjoyment. She played with the pencils and crayons like little action figures, and never colored in the coloring book, but whatever. She was happy and not making problems for me or the hygienist working on me.

I was very tense. That's understating it a bit. I was really a mess. As the scraping ensued, I actually shed a few tears. I had my iPod with me, and I was listening to Cake, since that was on my mind anyway. I turned it up (at the hygienist's suggestion) so I couldn't hear the scraping anymore, and was able to relax a bit, although I never really relaxed. I ratcheted down to about a 6 from an 8 on my 10-point hypothetical anxiety scale.

As I reclined there in that evil chair, I tried to wrap my brain about what makes that experience so tortuous for me. Besides just the sound and feeling of the scraping, it seems like she was all over my mouth in an unpredictable way, not going methodically from one tooth to the next, but jumping around with that evil scraper. I never knew where she was going to torture me next. Also, I don't like not being able to talk. I like talking. I like to think that I'm generally good at it. Having someone's hands in my mouth, and being rendered involuntarily speechless is really not something I enjoy. I also really hate it when the rotating polisher touches my gums. That feels horrible. I cringed and winced every time she did that, accidentally (yeah, sure). And the paste they polish with is very gritty, and I don't care what they try to do to it to make it not taste horrible, it still does. And the taste lingers. Bleh! At least when you get your teeth cleaned as an adult they don't make you do that disgusting flouride rinse.

After the polishing, and flossing, I started getting happy, thinking we were done. But then the lady pulled out the instrument of torture once more for some last minute scraping. Uncool. Very uncool.

When it was all over, and I in my car with my angelic 3.5 year old, we went to Sonic where I got her a smoothie, and got me lunch. I deserved a fatty fast food lunch after enduring all that scraping. And it made me a little happy to think about undoing some of that cleaning that had just taken place. Yeah, I have a spiteful side.

My teeth do feel good, even after my burger and tots.

One of the last songs I heard while in the chair was Cake's cover of "I Will Survive." Ironic, huh? (Warning: They use a dirty word instead of saying "stupid lock", but it's censored in the video.)

Sheep Go To Heaven - Cake

I haven't been to the dentist yet, so there's nothing new to say about that, but true to the name of this blog, this morning I have a song in my head, and it's a funny-ish one.

Cake's "Sheep Go To Heaven" is playing. I think they wrote that song just so they could say "go to hell" over and over. As we all know, sheep go to heaven, and goats go to hell. It's biblical. What can I say?

There are a lot of really neat musical things going on in that song. On the bridge, there are some counter-melodies, and the trumpet "descant"...

I hadn't really seen the video before today, so if you decide to go there and watch it, don't hold that against me. I just linked it so you could hear the song.

ARD & Pediatric Neurologist

Today was the ARD and pediatric neurologist appointment, and Hubby took an unplanned day off to come to both. How wonderful it was to be there, knowing I didn't have to retell the whole thing to him later, and also to know that I wasn't responsible for remembering any of the questions he may have had for any one of the people we met with.

So the ARD was the pre-evaluation ARD, in anticipation of the 3rd anniversary of Big Girl's initial evaluation, and therefore qualification for special ed. We basically talked about what tests they plan to give her to see what services she qualifies for. We won't be having an austism eval or a speech eval, since everyone agrees without testing that she still qualifies for those things. They want to give her an IQ test since she didn't have one before (she was only 3 after all!), and a couple other things. No big deal. Still glad Hubby came. That took quite a lot of pressure off of me, whether he realizes it or not.

The neurologist appointment went well. It was really pretty funny. When the doctor came in, he asked Big Girl a question, and then she was off and running, telling him about ladybugs and butterflies, and all kinds of semi-nonsensical stuff that just happened to pop into her head. He listened patiently. As I sat there, trying to keep myself from laughing at the funny stuff she was saying, I was thinking about how much money this man's time is worth, how many years of school he attended to become a pediatric neurologist, and now he spends 10-15 minutes listening to the imaginings of a 6 year old. How much $ was that worth? Anyway, this was the first time he has suggested Big Girl needs ocupational therapy. He wrote her a prescription for it. *Sigh* I know it will help her, and I will not deny my girl what will help her. But I'm really not happy about this. This will make life much more complicated on a regular basis. I'm jumping the gun a little bit, in that she hasn't be evalutated by an OT yet, but if she does end up needing it, the way the doctor thinks she does, then it means weekly trips to OT, figuring out what to do with Little Girl during that time, if they need me to stay, and having to kill 30 minutes-an hour with Little Girl while Big Girl is in therapy. Besides that, how much will it cost, and what will insurance cover? I was really hoping to get through her childhood without all that expense. Not because I want to deny her, but because I hoped she wouldn't need it. Well, now she does, maybe. *Sigh*

Tomorrow is the dentist for me again. Grrr... I don't want to think about that now.

I have had the Elgar in my head all day, and today I looked up Psalm 48, which is basically the text for that piece, and it has been a very nice way to meditate on the greatness of my God. So that's the song in my head today.

Busy

I realize it's been a while since my last post. It was a busy week last week. I had choir rehearsals Sunday, Monday & Thursday, then a concert Friday night.

And it took me a while to get over it. The election really bummed me out for a little while. I do believe God is in control, and I keep reminding myself of that. But I had already blogged about it, so I didn't see any need to get on here and do another post.

Friday night the girls stayed with my Mom & Dad (have I mentioned that I have the BEST parents ever?!?!) so that Hubby could come to my concert. He enjoyed it more than he thought he would. It was nice. We met for dinner before, and then a friend came to the concert, and he went with us afterward to have a little dessert. It was fun being out late, and not worrying about the kids. Then Saturday morning Hubby and I did yard work which needed to be done, and got the kids Saturday afternoon.

Sunday morning was awful with getting the girls ready for church. I was late to both services because of dealing with one or the other of them being less than cooperative for whatever reason. I missed the opening song both times, and it was choir Sunday. Can we just have a happy Sunday morning? Is that too much to ask?

Mom & Dad came over for a pot roast lunch. I did it again! I made pot roast! And this time I made gravy too, which I didn't bother with the first time since it was just Hubby and I eating it. We had a nice Sunday afternoon.

This week is shaping up to be pretty busy too, but not the same kind of busy. Last Friday I had a dentist appointment, my first since breaking off part of what I thought was an "inlay" but what turned out to be the back corner of my tooth. I found out I need about $800 worth of work done between the broken tooth and another cavity under a filling on the tooth just behind the newly broken one. Great. This is not going to encourage me to keep up with my dental health. I already have a thing about dentists (for a refresher, read here). If I wait to have all this done until we switch dental coverage, I can get the same work done for around $400, so I'm rolling the dice and putting it off until July or August. And hey, if the world ends in the next few months, then I didn't really need it done anyway, right? The gamble is that the decay will progress quickly and I'll need a root canal instead of whatever I need right now. I just hate going to the dentist. It's never good.

Today was Little Girl's first trip to the dentist. She did great. She was relaxed and cooperative, which surprised me. She's not the most cooperative kid about ANYTHING, and she far surpassed my expectations. Her strong-willed-ness was no where to be seen. Her teeth look good, no cavities. She does have a crack in the root of one of her two front teeth, which must have happened with a fall or something, but I can't for the life of me remember a fall that might have caused it (it could have happened any time in the last 2 and half years!). All that means is that it may fall out a little ahead of time, which might actually be kind of cute. And her mouth is pretty little, causing her baby teeth to not be straight. She'll definitely need some work done once those giant permanent teeth come in. Her bite is also a little off, side to side. The dentist was saying we might need to do something about that in the next year or two. Oh boy. That's fantastic. (Eyes rolling.)

Tomorrow is super busy. I mistakenly scheduled 2 appointments for Big Girl too close together. She sees a pediatric neurologist for her autism, and that appointment has been scheduled since November of 2007, and it's tomorrow at 3:00. About 3 weeks ago I scheduled her 6 year well-check, and I scheduled it for tomorrow at 2:30, not remembering about the neurologist appointment. Today I got it all worked out, and there was a cancellation at the pediatrician's office for Friday morning, so I got that appointment moved. YAY! And tomorrow morning, I have an ARD for Big Girl. That's the meeting where I sit down with the people at the school and go over what Big Girl needs as far as special ed services. I don't know why they want to meet so soon. We just had one last Spring. Oh well, I guess I'll find out tomorrow what's up with that. Little Girl will be going to that meeting, but not Big Girl. I bet Little Girl will do just great. She tends to perform pretty well with a group of adults that size, and when she's allowed to do her own thing on the floor.

Then Wednesday I have to get my teeth cleaned. More dentist. YUCK!!! I'll put on my iPod and check out as best I can during the scraping and all that. It makes my skin crawl just thinking about it.

I'm tired already just thinking about this week! At least I don't have Choral Arts rehearsals until January. But I might try to do a performance of Handel's Messiah in December. I've never sung it before. It would be fun.

I have had snippets of Britten's Cantata Misericordium, and Elgar's "Great is the Lord" from the concert Friday night in my head. I'd really like to move on, but I'm stuck. Maybe if I do the Messiah, I can have the "Hallelujah Chorus" in my head. That would be fun for a change (for a little while anyway).

Election Woes

This has certainly been an evening of extremes. People are either ecstatic, or despondent. I'm leaning toward the latter, all the while reminding myself that God is really in control. His sovereignty is not the least bit threatened by a silly election amongst His creation.

That being said...

For the years leading up to 2006 we had the White House and BOTH houses of Congress. How did we get here in 2008? Here's my analysis:

1. Bush was never the conservative we wanted him to be. Not even back in 2000 when he was narrowly elected the first time. He has since been on the wrong side of many key issues (despite being on the right side of national security):

• Campaign Finance Reform, which he signed expecting the Supreme Court to throw it out.
• Immigration Reform which never passed the Congress because of the outcry from the electorate (THANK GOD!!).
• Signing every pork bill that crossed his desk. This one is HUGE!! $$$$$$$
• He let Ted Kennedy write the education bill. (WHAT?!?!?)
  

I heard Bush speak in 1998, when he was governor of Texas, and just a possible presidential candidate. He said all the right things back then, but it's hard to believe he meant them. His "new tone" ended up meaning he bent over backwards and let the Dems have nearly everything they wanted. He did give us tax cuts, but they have an expiration date, and we can't expect them to be renewed. Not now.

2. He kept Cheney as VP in 2004, even though Cheney was vocal about not wanting to run for president (not that Cheney would have been a good candidate). Bush set us up to have a wide open primary process which got us saddled with John McCain. The more liberal Republicans in New Hampshire and South Carolina (who have reelected RINO Lindsay Graham AGAIN) got us stuck with him. Had we a VP incumbent to naturally take the helm when Bush's terms were up, it wouldn't have been McCain, no way, no how.

3. The Republicans in congress haven't separated themselves from the Democrats in congress, which set up the revolution in 2006. Too much pork. Too many scandals. Let's behave, people. Keep your pants on, and your hands clean, and don't spend our money like it's going out of style, please!!

4. McCain himself is not conservative, and not different enough from the Democrats for the Republican base to care all that much about the outcome of the election. He was on the same (wrong) side as Bush on those very issues I mentioned before, save maybe the pork. I haven't studied McCain's role in pork bills.

5, Tragically, McCain didn't call the Dems out for their folly in the economic mess that came to a head at the absolute worst time for the Republicans leading up to this election. And then he voted for the bailout. If he hadn't, I think he could have changed things enough to make a difference.

6. Sarah Palin, the best thing the McCain campaign had going for it, was not allowed to get out there and be herself. She was obviously tied by some of McCain's positions (the bailout for example), and not allowed to call things as they were (and still are).

I just hope that all this Democrat control of everything sets them up to open the door into their own noses, to give them enough rhetorical rope with which to hang themselves, etc. They'll have no one to blame for the mess they make of everything in the next few years, and we can have another Reagan landslide in 2012, only it will be a PALIN landslide next time.

God is in control. In my opinion, His favor on our nation is directly tied to our protection of Israel. God has protected us because we protect them. If our new president (President Hope 'n' Change, Hubby says) allies himself and the nation with the enemies of Israel, I believe God will no longer stay his hand.

The song in my head is a doozie. You'd never guess this one in a million years: Steven Curtis Chapman's "Got To B Tru" from The Great Adventure. Threw you for a loop there, didn't I? I loaded some vintage CCM into my iTunes this week, and that song came up more than once in Shuffle mode. I disabled that song after the second time. I couldn't take it.

Sarah Palin in 2012 campaign begins tomorrow!!!