Unworthy

This morning in our church worship service, I led out in singing "Revelation Song." I have sung this song before, and I didn't really think about it much until it was going on right then on the stage.

It wasn't very far into the song before I was overwhelmed with how very UNworthy I am. And there I was, in front of everyone, leading in a song about how worthy GOD is.

I am a pretty good singer, especially by church standards. And this gets me into trouble. If I ever forget what my voice is for, like if I start to take pride in it for my own sake and puff up myself, it's completely worthless. I know God can use the most unworthy of vessels in His own good pleasure (like Balaam's donkey, for example), so in that way, if what I am singing is pointing others towards God, it's not entirely in vain. But it is far better when I remember my place in light of HIS holiness and HIS worthiness, and I see nothing of worth in myself apart from Him. My righteousness is filthy rags. That's why I need a savior. I need that Lamb who was slain and now sits on the throne. I need the Holy One who was, and is, and is to come.

This thought overwhelmed me this morning as I sang, and thankfully the tears didn't come until after the song was over.

I bet you can guess what song is in my head. Yeah, still that one.

Since Last Time...

It's been over a week since I even really thought about blogging. Well, it's been a very busy week.

I had a birthday, for one thing. And my formal observation on which my evaluation as a teacher is based. And both of those were the same day.

I have blogged previously about using my rhythm cards in middle school choir that I had made when I was teaching elementary music. I have had some flashes of brilliance that are working themselves into innovative and rigorous lessons for my students. I don't want to sound arrogant for tooting my own horn, but sometimes there are things that need to be broadcast out there for everyone to know. It's just that good. This is one of those things.

So I was lying in bed one morning, not wanting to get out of bed, or else maybe I was lying there about to go to sleep at night, I don't remember which, when this idea came to me. A GROUP COMPOSITION PROJECT!!!

I had already used all the cards, having the students transition to the big-girls & -boys way of reading rhythms. I'd already had them composing by writing solfege syllables below rhythm cards. I had not, however, had the students writing notes on the staff. This is something that can seem very daunting to most students. It's difficult and strange at first. But what if I broke it down and made it easier? Here's what came to me:

This is what the students were given on a half-sheet of paper. The beauty of this is the PRE-writing exercise in the boxes at the top. By the time the students write on the staff, they have a clear picture of what to write. I have taught them how to find where to place the solfege on the staff. I got to teach them about notation and stem direction. This is all some very in-depth stuff that I have never had to teach before. It has always seemed like there wasn't enough time. This project just took half a class period for two class periods. It could be done in one day if the teacher was willing to sacrifice singing for a day.

The product is going to be our sight-reading book for the next few weeks. The students were given very specific guidelines about the melodies they were to compose. If they let me check and they had broken one of the "rules" then I'd bounce it back to them for a rewrite. I want the melodies to be simple enough for them to read. Difficult skips were off limits.

I think I'll do this project again, but next time I'll change the melody rules. I could also change the key signature, which would add another skill. Eventually I'd like to be able to hand them a page of stick notation and they can transcribe it to the staff.

I apologize to any non-musicians who are bored or lost with this post. It's like reading about quantum mechanics would be to me. I don't know and I barely care what that's all about.

Today you get to write the song in your head. Print the picture and try it out!! (Just kidding!)

Running in Circles

In the last two weeks, I have taken one child to the neurologist, the other child to the optometrist, myself to the dentist, both girls to the dentist, the dog to the groomer, worked every weekday, volunteered an hour at the girls' school, served in children's choir at church twice, attended two church choir rehearsals, conducted one middle school choir concert, and I'm probably leaving something out. I have another concert tomorrow.

Right about now all this running in circles is making me feel like I'm circling the drain.

I have another concert tomorrow night, and then WEEKEND!!

But this weekend may not be very restful after all. My uncle is in ICU, and I may be traveling to see him.

I can't think about that now. It's time for bed.

I have "Bayushki Bayu" in my head. It's a song my 7th grade girls will sing for region auditions next week, and I had them sing it in the concert tonight. I sang the Soprano 2 part with them since among the four of them are two Soprano 1s and two Altos, and without the middle part it wouldn't be nearly so pretty. (My computer is locking up tonight, and I haven't been able to preview the clip. I'm calling my tech support specialist this very moment!)

Grown-up Stuff

I would really like to return to being a kid. Lately it seems like I have a whole lot of grown-up stuff going on, problems to solve, difficult questions to answer. I remember being a kid, and I was one of those kids who thought my problems were actually big problems and I'd get annoyed with grown-ups who did understand how big my problems were. Well, I know now with the benefit of many more years of life behind me than I had then that the things I worried about were little and stupid.

One of those annoying grown-up things I'm dealing with is health insurance and prescription drug coverage. It's not like I picked the drug. I'd rather there not be a need for the drug. But there is. And it's not covered. Really?

And at work there's this thing that should have been taken care of last school year, but it wasn't, and so now I have to deal with it. It wasn't my mistake that it didn't happen. But now it's my problem. Got to love that. At least when you're a kid other people's problems don't automatically fall in your lap and become your problems. Well, they didn't for me anyway because I have awesome parents.

I handled many things along these lines today. I got a lot done. I feel like a real grown-up now. Just what I wanted so desperately about 20 years ago. Now I want to trade adulthood back for some innocence and simple problems.

I'm still floating through the Brahms Requiem in my head. I love it.

Brahms Requiem

This past weekend was the Brahms Requiem concert. There were also some rehearsals leading up to it with a middle school choir lock-in between. Yeah, it was a busy weekend.

I came away from the weekend with this song in my head, "Denn alles fleisch," the second movement from the Requiem. It is absolutely glorious.


It begins very foreboding and ominous. "All flesh is like grass, and all magnificence of mortals like the grasses' flowers. The grass has dried up and the flower fallen off." Dark imagery. But it's true. The temporal things of this world will be burned up.

Then there's a huge change. "So be patient, dear brothers, until the future of the Lord. Behold, a husbandman waits for the precious fruit of the earth and is patient about it until he receives the morning rain." The Lord Jesus is coming for His bride, and we don't know when that will be, so we must wait patiently, bearing with the fallen brokenness of the world, knowing it will not last forever.

Then it goes back into the darker music, repeating the "all flesh is like grass" text.


THEN... This part! "But the Lord's Word remains in eternity! The redeemed of the Lord will again come, and to Zion with shouts of joy. Joy, joy, eternal joy will upon their heads be. Joy and delight will seize them, and sorrow and sighing will have to go away. The redeemed of the Lord will again come, and to Zion with shouts of joy. Joy, joy, eternal joy will upon their heads be." Some day we will inhabit a new earth with Christ Jesus, the Lord of all, and we will experience eternal joy.


The depth of this text, all sung in German, hit me like a ton of bricks during our rehearsal the afternoon after the lock-in. I was terribly sleep deprived, and emotionally vulnerable, and I couldn't help but weep as we practiced this movement with the orchestra. It was so very moving.

I worshiped. I may have been the only one in that whole place having a moment with God. It was amazing. Praise the Lord! I love it when He speaks to me like this. It's so very personal.