No Fakers, Please

I have always had a disdain for fakers. When people want to run around saying things like, "Praise the Lord," I have always had a good deal of skepticism, and even some downright cynicism toward those people. How could they really mean it all the time? They must be faking, at least some of the time.

Lately I have been blogging about God's blessings in my life. I have been actually living a life in which I really feel that "Praise the Lord" attitude for real. It seems like I'm becoming one of those people, at least for this season in my life.

As the person saying it, I have some different feelings about it than what I had before, as just a witness. I do see how it can be annoying to someone not experiencing it, or someone who has never experienced it. I know a lot of people who would look at the things happening in my life and attribute them to me, that somehow I am "doing better".

But I know that can't be true.

I know I've tried over and over to "do better" at many things. I've tried to be a better mom, a better teacher, a better wife. I always try so hard, and fail. The only thing I know I can do is fail. Repeatedly.

But all of a sudden, I'm not failing at absolutely everything. What's different?

It has to go back to my attitude toward my own sin. This summer, about a month ago or so, I finally decided to agree with God that I shouldn't watch a certain TV show. I struggled with it. I knew I felt convicted about it. I had that sick-in-the-gut feeling you get when you know you're doing something wrong. I believe where God draws those lines of what's right and what's not can be different for everyone, based on one's personal relationship with Christ. (There are non-negociables too, don't get me wrong. Watching a TV show isn't explicitly listed in the bible, neither is smoking, or lots of other things.) In Paul's writings, he talks about not being a stumbling block for a weaker believer. Depending on the other people in our lives, some things may be stumbling blocks for people that we may not even realize. Anyway, the point is to be sensitive to that little voice that says something is wrong, and then do what it says.

This is not the first time God has told me something was wrong and I obeyed. There is something different this time. And it's not something I did. It's something God started. I am agreeing to cooperate, but that's as far as it goes for my part.

I have had all these Psalms flooding my head. It's like God has been chasing me with his word. He's planting his word in my head, in the form of songs because he knows that will work for me, and I can't get away from it. At this point, I don't want to get away from it. I am in awe of it. I am in awe of the power it has over my attitude.

The changes I have seen in my responses to things have been truly miraculous. Instead of my fleshy filth coming out at every turn, I can see the sweet response of the Holy Spirit at work, calming me in frustrating times, and lifting me up in the midst of discouragement. I can see my caustic sarcasm subside, and my sincere joy or sorrow flow forth as appropriate to the given situation. I am listening better to other people. I am caring more about the people around me, and desiring to share the love of God.

But none of this is from me, really. I can see it all as the overflow of what God has planted in my head through his word. No, really he's planting it in my heart.

I don't know that I have had this kind of excitement for spiritual things since my youth group days in high school. Back then I had a fire for the Lord that would not quit until all my friends knew Jesus. Back then I had the freedom to share with my lost friends at school.

As a teacher, I know there are boundaries. I don't have that same freedom I had as a student. Whatever influence I have has to be "without a word," like it says in 1 Peter 3:1.

My attitude toward fakers is still the same. I just have a little more faith that not everyone who I used to be so skeptical of is faking. God really does such good things that some people can't help but praise Him for everything!