Blah Humbug

I know I shouldn't blog when I'm down on myself, but if I don't do this now, it's never going to happen. Why am I down on myself? I didn't do Christmas cards this year. I did send an e-card to everyone in my address book, but no family picture, no newsletter. The last few years I have created a newspaper as our newsletter. Last year I didn't get it out on time, as it was my first year working as a choir director, and there were Christmas concerts and so much busyness, I didn't have myself organized well enough to do it all. This year I didn't even set such expectations on myself. I did have one week this year with a concert to attend or direct 4 of 5 weeknights. By the end of it I was a wreck. So I'm a Christmas failure.

Things have been piling up to the extent that I'm dropping some balls for my kids. Little Girl was supposed to be star student that same week as all my concerts. I had no idea until we got an email from the teacher that Monday, when we should have already sent in a poster. I'm a mommy failure. Thankfully the teacher tacked us on at the end of the year, and we'll get some sort of warning ahead of time. She's compensating for my shortcoming...

I think I've blogged before about how I don't do well when I'm not productive. The last couple of days, the first two of Christmas break, have been very relaxing, but not very productive, and I'm starting to get down on myself for that. You'd think I'd enjoy it, but it doesn't work that way. I did take my girls to the park yesterday to ride their bikes on the blacktop. It's a much easier place to ride than up and down the sidewalk. There's enough of a slope to our street that going one way is significantly easier than the other, and they don't want to come back up. Plus, the blacktop is removed from the street and cars, and is much safer, so long as there aren't any big teenage guys wanting to play basketball there. Besides the bike-riding adventure, I've gotten a load of laundry done. Just one. There are so many more waiting for my attention.

October Means 3 Things...

1. My birthday. I can't say I'm excited to be having a birthday. I know that getting older beats the alternative, but do I have to be reminded of it annually? Really? That number just keeps getting bigger and bigger, and I can't claim some sort of hold on my youth the bigger it gets. The chasm between me and my cultural relevance grows and grows...

2. Fall concert(s). This week is the giant choir school's fall concert, and next week is the tiny choir school's fall concert. Are we ready? I'd say yes at the tiny choir school, and no at the giant choir school. Several factors are at play in that lack of readiness. The main one is my students' inability to buckle down and get to work. Sometimes it's good-hearted chit-chat, and sometimes it's an outright rebellious refusal to comply. Towards the end of last week, my girls started to feel the pressure of the imminent performance, and the work ethic improved dramatically. They don't want to go on stage and stink it up. Can't say I do either...

3. Big Girl's birthday, which means Big Girl's birthday party as well... Ugh... I'm getting to the point of wanting to hire the birthday party stuff out. I just don't have the time or energy to pull it off as a working mom. But of course the alleged party is now under two weeks away, and I can't just call up a Chuck-E-Cheese at this point and book the party on the day I want to have it. By the way, we have to have it 5 days early because the weekend after her birthday is Region Choir auditions, and I'll be working all day that Saturday... I really do love my life. It's just complicated when there are things like birthdays so close to region auditions. I can't move the audition, and I can't move the birthday. And this is the kid who wouldn't be understanding about celebrating a month late. (I'd love to do that this go 'round...)

So that's what's up with me/us... We're getting older, and we're busy. It's a good life.

I have that song in my head by Sting, on the Brand New Day album where he writes a nasty letter to his ex and then wants to take it back... What's it called...? "Big Lie, Small World," I think. It came on my iPod yesterday while I was getting ready for church.

School Year Update

Already, four weeks are nearly gone. Things are getting under way. I am busy.

At my giant-choir school, things are really chugging along. I am directing a 6th grade class, and a non-varsity women's class, which will combine with classes the other director is teaching, and then I'll direct them in concert. I am handling all the finances, and so far, I'm on top of it. There's no money left in the choir office that hasn't been turned in, which is my goal for every day. I have turned in a deposit nearly every day. That part of it is pretty tedious, but I'd rather be diligent with it in small doses than to let it pile up, and then it takes a whole day just to get caught up. Besides, it's policy to get it in. (I'm sorry... I know you don't care about this stuff. It's just what I'm thinking about at the moment.)

My tiny-choir school still has a tiny choir, but the culture is shifting somewhat. This year it seems like the kids aren't afraid to SING!! Amazing, huh? AND I have 2 BOYS in the class. That has changed things more than anything else, as the songs I pick now have to have parts for the boys. It's been a fun challenge. Unfortunately, there's so much more good music available for treble choirs than for 3-part mixed choirs... So far things are going pretty well.

Choir club is a bigger problem than I'd like to admit. I have lost 4 kids who were enrolled last year in my class who changed their electives to something other than choir because they can come to my after school choir club and participate that way. The problem is that I'm not paid for choir club (well, I get about $3/hr for it). My enrollment numbers are what matters to administrators for justifying my job, and while an increase from 9 to 12 is good, 16 would be far better. Again, I'm 6th grade heavy, which compromises my eligibility for the biggest contest we do all year...

This is definitely the last year I'm going to do the choir club. I just can't do this to myself, or my family. If not for choir club, I'd be able to pick up my kids from school most days. I could probably work it out for my mom to cover for me the other days, and then we could not be paying for after school care. When you take what we pay for the girls to have a place to go and offset it by what I'm paid for the club (that $3/hr), we're so far in the hole, it's really not worth it at all. Couple that with the fact that it's undercutting my enrollment... definitely not doing this again.

Big Girl is sailing along with 2nd grade. No surprises there. She really enjoys school. She's good at it.

Little Girl is having a little bit of difficulty adjusting to Kindergarten. She spent most of the first few weeks of school being very tired. It's a long day for her, I know. She's not used to paying attention for that many hours in a row.

I'm sitting right now, between schools, at a local sandwich shop, taking advantage of their free WiFi. My sandwich is long since eaten, and now I'm jamming to Huey Lewis & The News, "Happy to be Stuck with You." It's a nice break. Unfortunately, I need to go back to school. Class starts in 20 minutes... TGIF!!

1 Down, 35 More to Go!

One week of school is complete. There are 35 left.

I think this will be a good year. I can definitely see some challenges on the horizon, but all in all, it's good. I can see myself already being a better teacher. It's amazing what experience can bring. I'm glad to be in the same place, same teaching position as last year. It's nice to not be new.

Little Girl has now started Kindergarten. She's having a rough time of it. It's hard to get used to being "on" all day, and having that day start an hour and a half earlier than before. She's already showing improvement.

Big Girl is also having some difficulties, but hers are different. She wanted to be in the after-school care group with her sister, even though she is now classified differently, being in 2nd grade. They have a younger group (K & 1st), middle group (2nd & 3rd), and an older group (4th & 5th). Big Girl stayed with Little Girl the first week, and then today there were some problems when it was suggested that she go in with her own age group. I think it's worked out now, and she'll be fine. It's just getting adjusted. We didn't talk about her expectations, and we probably should have. If her expectations are set correctly from the start, there are far fewer problems of this nature.

I love both of my girls so much, and it's hard on me when they're having difficulties, especially when it makes me feel like my job is making their problems harder for them. I must trust God to know what's best for them and me, and He has directed my career path, and whatever bumps we all experience will work out for the good of us all. If I were a SAHM again, yes, I'd be there to pick them up from school, but I may not be the mom they need in other ways. Or maybe God has me in the mission field of public school for the souls of others at the expense of some bumpy days in my babies' lives for His ultimate glory.

The very anti-God teacher that I'm working with has chose to teach the men's choir "Fairest Lord Jesus." It makes my heart smile. Lord, I pray that the words of truth in that song will penetrate some very hard hearts.

School Starts Again

Today was my first day back at work after the summer vacation.

This summer we did so many things with the girls that were their first time... dance class, going to the movies, floating the river, going to the water-park, and finally going to the BEACH. The last of those we did last week.

Big Girl did so great. I was afraid she would be afraid of the waves and playing in water that she couldn't see the bottom (we went to Galveston, which is not the nicest beach by a long shot!). None of that bothered her, and she had a great time!

Little Girl also had a good time, but you might not have known it to see her there. She did an awful lot of fussing for someone having a good time. That's just her way, or rather, how she acts when she's not in control. She is only 5 years old, after all, and she's got a long way to go in the maturity department. Her passion will eventually have a clear channel where her personality will be one of her greatest assets. For now, it gets in her way, and I can completely relate.

Anyway, today was the start of school for teachers in our district. I have mixed emotions about going back. I'm sad that the summer is over. More specifically, I'm sad that I'm going to have to be accountable for how I spend my time, and that it will not be my own. It's my selfishness groaning a bit. On the other hand, I love my job, and I'm excited to get another shot at doing it. I'll be in the same position as last year, with two schools, the biggest and smallest middle school choir programs in the district.

Just this past weekend I got to enjoy doing something for the second time, and NOT BEING NEW ANYMORE!!! It's hard to be new. The only thing good about being new is that as the new person, there's an excuse for making mistakes. "I didn't know, sorry. I'm new." In every other way, experience is definitely preferred. So here's to putting a year of middle school choir experience to good use!!

I know with the start of the school year I won't be blogging nearly so much, so I apologize in advance for not checking in.

Big Girl is starting 2nd grade, and Little Girl is starting Kindergarten in a week from tomorrow. I know both of their teachers, and I'm very pleased with their placements in those two classes. My girls will both be blessed to have excellent teachers this year. I'm taking it as an indicator of a good year to come.

I know there's more I could blog about right now, stuff God is doing in me, stuff that might edify those who read, but I just can't bring myself to spend my time tonight on the computer.

The song in my head right now is "Oh Dear, What Can the Matter Be?" which is one of the songs my associate and I have chosen for one of the choirs at the big choir school to sing on the Fall concert. I'm a sucker for 6/8 time signature. Always have been...

The Red Room

All week long I've been painting my bedroom. I've been painting it RED. If you've never painted red before, let me just tell you, it's the hardest color EVER. It's so hard to get good coverage. I've painted navy blue before, and that covers in one coat. I've painted beige, tan, purple, light blue, all of those cover in one coat. I have now painted two master bedrooms and an accent fireplace wall, and red just doesn't cover without more than one coat. I've even primed with tinted primer on two of those jobs, and it ALWAYS requires more than one coat to get decent coverage. Even after 2 coats, it looks like another would be better, but I'm just so out of patience with the project that I'm calling it good enough, and done.

To say that it's taken me all week is really no exaggeration. I painted all day Monday, took a break Tuesday for dance class and my hair appointment (more on that in a minute), painted all day Wednesday, and then half the day on Thursday and Friday. I'm so sick of my hands, feet, arms and legs being covered in paint and/or primer. I'm also sore from getting down on the floor and back up a bagillion times. Seriously, my quads are killing me. That may also be a product of the furniture moving I've done this week too. I had Hubby help move the bed, but I did the dresser all alone. I had to get on the floor and push it with my feet. I couldn't lift it. As Dwight Shrute would say, that's the problem with women- weak arms.

I do feel kinda powerful when I'm at the end of a big project. I have something to look at a think, I did that. I have a whole folder of pictures on my Facebook profile dedicated to all the projects I've done in the last two or three years. My home's transformation has been well documented. It makes me a little sad that I didn't keep track of all the things I did to our last house, especially since Little Girl doesn't really remember that house. We moved when she was only 2 years old.

The RED room was a much bigger project than I anticipated. The last time I painted a room red, I had many friends help me. My best painting buddy and I painted 4 rooms together in my last house, and 4 rooms together in her houses (I've painted in 3 different houses of hers over the years), plus wallpaper removal. She's the friend I took the girls to visit last week out of town. I miss her so much, especially when there's work like this that we would be sharing if she were still here. *Sniff, sniff*

Anyway, red is finally painted. That's one coat of primer, and two coats of paint on all the walls in the biggest room I've ever painted. (I'm sitting her with my computer on my lap, still in my painting clothes, with red paint splatter all over my right arm.) Major sigh...

About the hair, it's been several days since the new cut, and yesterday I tried the wavy hair look. I think I must have the wrong products for it, because it looked OK at first, but then it just looked messy by the end of the day. I still haven't had a chance to really fix it straight, but I think it'll be OK. It's not been the best week to judge a new haircut, as I've been tying it up in a ponytail to work for the three days since getting it cut.

The song in my head for the last several days is "Keep Fishin," by Weezer. The girls have been into watching a DVD of the Muppet Show lately, and Hubby showed them this video, since they now have an appreciation for it. So good. Very catchy. It'll definitely stick with ya!

*** UPDATE - Saturday, July 17 ***

This morning while Hubby was mowing the yard, I moved the BED back into place ALL BY MYSELF!! It's not that he wouldn't have helped me, it's just that I was impatient and didn't want to wait for him to get finished, and then get himself cleaned up. I am woman. I am strong. Don't worry, I'm not going to roar!

New Hair Cut

I know it's completely superficial, but hey, we live in a physical world where we are judged by what we look like before we can be judged by anything else. Here's my new do:

I like it so far, but I haven't had a chance to wash it, play with it, or fix it yet, so the jury is still out on whether this is a good cut. It's supposed to be easy to fix, but it seems like they always say that when you're at the salon.

That picture doesn't show the cut very well. Here's one that shows it better:

Uh oh, I tipped my hand. The shirt is really red. I blued it up in the first picture to bring out my eyes... That was completely superficial. :o)

Summer of Firsts

I think this summer is the "Summer of Firsts" for my girls. They've already tubed down the river for the first time in their lives, and then this last week we did a couple more things for their first time.

On Monday we had some friends come down and stay with us overnight, and then Tuesday both families went together to a water park. Hubby and I think it's the best one anywhere, and it happens to be not too terribly far from home, certainly close enough for a day trip. We've been before, but we had never taken the kids, and after seeing how they did on the river, we knew they were ready. It was so much fun. Little Girl is my dare-devil, and she did EVERYTHING. Big Girl did most everything, and had a great time. They both are looking forward to going back next year, which we'll probably do if I take my choirs there again next Spring. We got a great deal on our tickets because I had taken my choirs there in May.

Then Thursday I took both the girls to go visit a friend out of town. This friend of mine is a very dear friend, one who was there for me when I had my babies, and my miscarriage back in 2004, and it broke my heart when she moved out of town with her family back in 2006. At least they are only two and a half hours away, and I can go visit her during the summer when our kids aren't in school and I'm not working. Anyway, that's what we did. While we were there, we all went to the movies. We saw "Toy Story 3." It's a very cute movie. We opted to not pay an extra $3 per ticket to see it in 3D.

So what's the big deal? That was the first time my girls had ever seen a movie in the theater. I had been afraid to take them when they were littler, and Hubby hates going, and I didn't want to take them by myself, because if one of them needed to go potty, then the other would miss the movie too. They did great, loved the experience, and no one needed to go during the movie.

I think later this summer I'll go back and visit my friend again, and we'll take all the kids to the beach. My girls have never been.

I hate that there are so many things I haven't done with my kids yet. I can't beat myself up too much though. It's not that I'm depriving my kids of experiences on purpose. We just haven't been there/done that YET. They'll get to do it some time. Maybe even sooner than later.

The longer I wait, the more likely they are to remember the experience anyway.

Borderline Disrespect?

Big Girl is growing up. She's closer to 8 years old now than 7, and her intellect is maturing so much. She is understanding humor in a brand new way, and even getting many of the jokes in her VeggieTales videos she had missed as a little girl. As a result, they're getting more play in recent days than they did in the last few years.

Another thing that's happening is she's getting a little bit of an attitude. I can see that in a typical child her age (like her sister will be in a couple years) that the attitude factor would be major. With Big Girl it's like a very subtle undercurrent. Big Girl is the most indirect individual I have ever known in my whole life. So when she's developing an attitude, she doesn't come out and mouth off. That's not her style.

Here's an example of what I'm talking about. A few weeks ago, after school was out, and I had been going back up to the school cleaning out the choir room storage closet. In the late afternoon on just such a day, I was sitting on the couch with my computer on my lap, watching TV. I had worked at school for about 5 hours, with both of my girls playing in the room while I worked. Big Girl was wanting to watch one of her shows on the DVR, which is only on the TV I was watching. She sits on the couch a little ways down from me and says, "I've noticed that you've been watching TV a lot and playing on your computer a lot. That's kind of lazy."

"Really??" It was just about all I could do to not either laugh or yell at her. Instead of yelling, I calmly asked her, "What was I doing this morning? Didn't we go to [insert school name here] this morning and you played while I worked cleaning out the closet? Was that lazy?"

"No." Her blunder began to register, and she was on the edge of crying.

"Yes, I'm watching TV and playing computer right now, but I've worked for 5 hours today. What work have you done today? Don't you just want me to stop watching TV so YOU can watch what you want?"

She went away crying just a little. At dinner that evening, Hubby made sure to ask Big Girl if I was being lazy when I made the dinner she was eating. Big Girl got very upset and started crying. "Why are you crying?" he asked her.

"I'm so ashamed." And rightfully so. It was a big lesson.

This scene has unfolded a few different times in a few different ways, but each time, I am careful to call a spade a spade pretty gently. Sometimes I'll let her have the remote control, and sometimes I won't, but I'll let her know when she's doing that indirect, manipulative thing. Her most common approach is to ask me if I'm really watching whatever is on the TV. That's a pretty polite way to go about it, I suppose.

I love my Big Girl so very much.

The Best Kind of Excitement

I have a friend from years back, Angie, who has come back into my life in the last year or two since I've been on Facebook, and we chat several times a week. We are sisters in Christ who have picked up our relationship where we left it as high school girls, watching Doris Day and Rock Hudson movies, and taken it to a much more mature level now that we are both wives and moms with real adult lives.

Tonight I saw that she was online around 7:30 or so this evening (yesterday now), the first time we were both online in several days. She suggested we could chat after her kids went to bed. For some reason I felt compelled to go to her house instead, so I invited myself over while her husband was working late, and we had a face-to-face chat instead of a Facebook chat, which was much better. (I did get approval to do this from both Angie and Hubby before I headed over there!)

It was pretty late when I left Angie's house, and I was listening to music on my iPod in Hubby's car as I drove home. His is the car with the auxiliary audio input jack. I am so jealous... Anyway, Hubby cranks up the volume pretty loud in his car, and I didn't touch any of the buttons or knobs, I just plugged in my iPod and pushed play on it, playing my music.

I am someone who believes that God is in the details. The shuffle playlist in my iPod is not beyond God's reach. He can orchestrate when certain songs will come up, and I believe He did that tonight.

The first one of note (no pun intended - REALLY!) was "Keep Me in Mind," by Dig Hay Zoose. I can't find any audio files of it online, sadly, but you can see the disc and all the tracks on it here. My husband has this CD, and it is one I have largely ignored, except for this song. It has a very laid back Latin guitar vibe, and the gist of the song is God singing to the listener that He'll be patiently waiting until the person decides to invite Him into his/her heart and life.

Keep me in mind, soon you will find

All is for naught, and I'll be waiting...

Keep me in mind, soon you will find

All is for naught, and I'll be waiting to sing with you... And kiss you

The song sounds like any old love song until you really hear the bridge:

And when you say it's OK,

I will come into your heart

And when you say it's OK,

I will come into your heart and we will never part

Anyway, it's so hard to get the feeling for just how fun that song is if all you can do is read the lyrics. Hubby says that this song by Dig Hay Zoose is nothing like their other stuff, and I probably wouldn't like much of their other offerings, so if you go looking for them online (like I just did), and you do run across an audio file here or there, you probably won't get a decent feeling for what this song is really like. It's so light and syncopated, and infectious. And I know God meant for me to hear it tonight.

So I mentioned a few posts back about feeling like I'm wandering in the desert. Sometimes we hit a dry spell and can't really feel God. I know He's all around, working in my life, but I just can't FEEL him... well, tonight in the car, God let me have one of those wonderful little touches from Him where he let me FEEL just how close He is.

A song or two later came "God Will Lift Up Your Head," by Jars of Clay.

Give to the wind your fear
Hope and be undismayed
God hears your sighs and counts your tears
God will lift up, God will lift up, lift up your head

God will lift up your head
God will lift up your head
God will lift up your head
Lift up your head

Leave to His sovereign sway
To choose and to command
Then shall we wandering on His way
Know how wise and how strong
How wise and how strong

God will lift up your head
God will lift up your head
God will lift up your head
Lift up your head

Through waves and clouds and storms, He gently clears the way
Wait because in His time, so shall this night
Soon end in joy, soon end in joy
Soon end in joy, soon end in joy

God will lift up your head
God will lift up your head
God will lift up your head

You've got to know that it was BLASTING in the car. I was overtaken by the song, by the words, by the strength of my God and how he let me FEEL Him. My hand (singular because I was driving) was up, and tears were streaming down my face. God does not owe me that kind of emotional connection to Him, but I am so very grateful that He did allow it in that moment.*

I may or may not be finished with this current desert, but at least I know for sure that I am not alone, wherever I am, and wherever I'm headed.

*Disclaimer: Relationships of any kind are not to be based on feelings. Feelings are fleeting, and just because you feel a thing, or experience an emotional response to something, does not make it real. Remaining faithful to God (or a marriage for that matter) despite feelings that would lead a person to the contrary is the definition of faithfulness and love. Love is a choice, not a feeling. This is probably a topic for a future post.

A Little Late Night Excitement

Nothing has the power to give me a jolt of adrenaline and make my skin crawl simultaneously like the sight of a 2" roach in my house. Last night as we were about to retire for the evening, our pre-bedtime routine was interrupted by the most vile of God's creations in our bathroom. As Hubby was trying to kill it, I saw it crawl from his side of the counter to mine, where it crawled on my bottle of facial cleanser and my toothpaste. MY TOOTHPASTE!! I am telling myself that I don't have to throw away everything on the counter. I can spray it with Lysol and then wash it with soap and water. I don't have to waste the products. I will be brave. (Maybe if I say it enough, I'll start to believe it?)

Time to give our pest control people a call.

*Shudder*

Summer Blahs

Since getting back from vacation on Sunday, this week has been a hard one for me. I hadn't realized just how much I need a reason to get up every day and get out of the house (which requires me to put on clothes and brush my hair). Busyness definitely keeps away the blahs.

It seems like when I'm busy I wish for more time to do the things I don't have time to do. But here I am with time to do things, and I'm struggling for motivation to do them. Maybe it's because I'm not too excited about doing all of those things I don't usually have time to do. One of the things that really needs to happen this month (it's JULY already!?) is the cleaning out of the closet under the stairs. It's a very big, deep closet, and it has been a catch-all for children's artwork, scrapbooking supplies, and various electronic chords and wires, the stuff from our former house's office closet, and the coats. If that were all that was in there, it wouldn't be so bad. There are also a few things I need to locate for work that I just didn't bother even trying to find until I had the time to get things out in an orderly way and put things back in a way that made a little more sense than how it's currently configured. Boy, that makes me tired just thinking about it. (I know I have a conducting baton in there somewhere, I'm just sure of it.)

The rest of this week is going to be eaten up by laundry. I still haven't done laundry since vacation, and the regular laundry is piling up too. So I'm dodging the closet for this week.

Next week we are planning to go to a waterpark with some friends on Tuesday, and then I'm taking the girls to visit a friend and her son out of town Thursday through Saturday. No closet next week either.

Then the week after that I think I'll be painting our master bedroom. We currently have a 19" TV mounted on the wall, and it looks like a hospital TV. It's the TV my grandparents gave me when I graduated high school and went off to college. It's so old the only input is has on the back is a coax cable input. Anyway, we mounted it there when we moved in because it was the best solution at the time. Nowadays (don't I sound old saying that?!) with flat-screen TV's there are better options available. All that to say painting the room has been waiting on working a better TV solution. Hubby was waiting for the size he wanted to drop below a particular price point, and that happened yesterday. He ordered the TV online, and it shipped yesterday. He bought the mounting bracket and HDMI cables from monoprice.com a couple weeks ago. Once the cables are run through the wall, we'll have a nice set-up with no wires showing. The way we have it with the old TV, there are 2 chords running up the wall. It will be a very welcome change.

Yesterday I didn't do very much. It was one of the most blah days of the summer yet. I did manage to run over to the grocery store (at 4:30 PM) to buy some stuff to make dinner. Last night's dinner was a bright spot in the otherwise completely blah day. I made pork tenderloin, asparagus and roasted potatoes. Big Girl loved the pork tenderloin and declared it her new favorite meal. I'd give the asparagus an A+, but the tenderloin could have been better. It was a meal designed around things I wanted to eat rather than things that would have been easy to make. I've already had enough of mac & cheese and chicken nuggets to last me all summer.

The song in my head right now is the theme from "WordGirl." My girls have watched so much TV this week... I'm failing as a mother... Anyway, at least they're not watching commercial TV. And at least they're not eating an exclusive diet of mac & cheese and chicken nuggets. It could be worse.

Good News!

As we drove into the neighborhood today after being on vacation, we stopped by the mailbox to pick up three days of mail. On the short drive down our street, I saw a letter addressed to me from the church where I grew up, my parents still attend, and the girls went to Vacation Bible School just over a week ago.

I thought it was just some form letter they sent out to all the families of the kids to follow up after VBS. I was only partly right. It was a form letter, but I don't think they send this one to everyone.

The second paragraph started out "this is to let you know that your child made a decision for Christ..."

I showed to Hubby, who was driving. "Interesting..."

After we got home and unloaded the car, I was so tired I went upstairs and took a nap. While I was sleeping, Hubby talked with Big Girl. After I got up, we all talked again.

We knew that Big Girl understood the whole thing about Jesus dying on the cross and all that for a while now, but we had never really put any pressure on her to make a decision. I'm glad we didn't. We are both certain that she has come to this on her own. There may be a day down the road where she questions her childish understanding, and has to nail it down again, but that's a faith growing experience too. It won't mean that this isn't real right now. She has child-like faith, and that's all Jesus says she needs. She just didn't know she was supposed to tell us about it.

That is so like her.

I praise God that my baby is now a sister in Christ.

Sweet Friends & Family Memories

When I was a little girl (my, that seems like a long time ago!), we lived in a town away from family. My parents had some very close relationships with people in our church, and one couple in particular were like grandparents to me. They are about 10 years younger than my grandparents, but they always seemed like grandparents to me. Their names are Bill and Georgia. Georgia would babysit us every Wednesday night while Mom and Dad did something at church (I don't even know what). That went on from as far back as I can remember until we moved away when I was 6.

When we moved away from that little town and into the city where I really grew up (and where my dad's parents lived), we started going to the river on vacation with Bill and Georgia. I remember doing it for the first time when I was 6 or 7 years old. The river where we go has some pretty decent rapids and is lots of fun to tube down. We would rent a one room cabin with a screened in front porch, a kitchen and a bathroom, and the 6 of us (Bill and Georgia, Mom, Dad, my brother and me) would all stay there. There were 2 sets of bunk beds, and one double bed, just enough for us to all have a place to sleep. The best spot to start the tubing trip was right there, across about 70 yards of grass at the swimming hole just past the low water crossing. It was a great place to go year after year after year.

One of those years when we had met Bill and Georgia at the cabin, they went out for their morning coffee like they always did, but this time they didn't come back for a long time. Turns out they were out buying their own place in a little town just upstream from the cabin. They retired there a few years later.

So now when we go to the river, we always visit Bill and Georgia. We did that two years ago when my girls were 3 and 5, too little to tube down the river, so Mom and Georgia stayed behind and took the girls to the swimming hole. Last year when I was doing my new teacher days, Mom and Dad took my girls with them to visit Bill and Georgia, but they didn't do any tubing. They did go this year for the first time and it was great! Big Girl said her favorite thing was the rapids. We were worried that she'd get scared at some point along the way and want to bail out with 2 hours of tubing left to go.

This year Mom and Dad rented a cabin at a new place near Bill and Georgia's for all 8 of us (my brother and his wife, Mom and Dad, Hubby, the girls and me), since there are too many of us to stay with Bill and Georgia. We had dinner with them Friday night, and they came over and visited with us at our cabin Saturday. They saw the swimming hole with a cliff you can jump off and a rope swing, located just a short walk from where we stayed. When we were down there showing it to Bill and Georgia, of course the girls wanted to swim, and since they were in the water (with their life jackets on), they needed one adult to be dressed for rescue should the need arise, and that was me. Everyone else was in regular clothes.

While we were there, us grown-ups were sitting on a ledge, about 3-4 feet from the water, talking and visiting. Georgia had been taking pictures of us, and the girls swimming. She had put her camera in her pocket. She leaned over at one point to adjust her shoe or something and the camera slipped out of her pocket and *sploosh* it went into the water. It landed near the edge, just before the deep drop off.

Being the only one in a swim-suit, it was up to me to rescue the digital camera. I mustered up my courage and jumped off the rope swing, swam over to the edge, reached down the 4 feet to grab it, and handed it up to the cheering entourage. Through it all, Georgia was laughing and easy-going about it all. She has been known to knock a glass over on a new preacher in her time. Bill didn't get flustered about it either. I know neither of them were happy about it, but they have both been around long enough to know the value of things. Things are just things. People are important.

While it could be said that Georgia is not a graceful person, I'd like to argue that she's one of the most grace-filled people you can imagine. She's full of grace, and that's far better. Georgia's sweet spirit is refreshing, and spending time with her, laughing with her, visiting with her left us all smiling. Bill is fun too, in a different way. I enjoy talking with him too. Conversations with Bill are always deep, and intellectually stimulating. He's been walking with God for a long time, and it shows.

When Bill and Georgia's kids started having kids of their own, I remember feeling a little bit displaced. I wished we could go there for Christmases instead of my grandparents'. I know there are something things reserved for family. But I'm sure that what we have is the very next best thing. We have love. We share God's love. In that way, we are family.

We just got back from the river today. It was a very special thing to be sharing that place, and these precious people, with my girls. I learned that both of my parents went to this river when they were kids. I hadn't realized that before this trip. I wonder if my mom's parents went there as kids... Anyway, we know for sure this is the 3rd generation (at least) enjoying this part of God's creation. My girls are sharing in some of my childhood memories. The place we started our tubing trip 2 days ago was 70 yards away from the cabin we always stayed in with Bill and Georgia more than 20 years ago. Pretty sweet, if you ask me.

For some reason, the song in my head is "The Calculation," by Regina Spektor. I think I heard it twice on the drive home today.

Wandering in the Desert

Don't you wish sometimes you were wandering in the dessert instead of the desert? (Ha, ha - Little Girl would say.)

Anyway, it seems sometimes when I read over my blog posts that everything in my life is happy all the time. While it's true that I have a very blessed life, it's also true that not everything is so sunny as it seems all the time. That's just not real life.

It's also true that talking about negative things in such a public forum can be quite tricky. Specifics of any given situation can hurt people in unintended ways, and it's just not a good idea to vent to the whole world, even if names are changed to protect the innocent.

In my very blessed life, there is one are in which I feel I am wandering in the desert, and that has led me to write this post. And while I can't really talk about anything with specificity, I can talk about the wandering.

It's very frustrating sometimes to be in the desert. Especially when you feel God has led you there. It's easy to start questioning everything from your ability to hear God to His goodness. Surely a good God wouldn't lead me here, we think. Or maybe I didn't hear God correctly when I thought he sent me here. However you slice it, if God is leading, and you're in a desert, it doesn't mean God was wrong, or that you were wrong in hearing him and discerning his leading.

The trip through the desert is very instructive. It pulls away all the layers of veneer, the false things we rely on. The children of Israel had to wander in the desert for 40 years! They complained about everything along the way, too. (And so do we, if we're being completely honest.) They didn't have food, so they complained, and God sent manna. Then they complained about not having water, so God made water come out of a rock. They wanted to return to captivity in Egypt, rather than wander in the desert. They lost all sense of perspective out there in the desert.

I can relate. In this one thing, I don't really know what the right choice is. I think I've followed God through the steps that have brought me where I am, but I'm questioning that point. In so many areas of my life, I see God's hand as clear as daylight, but in this, it's a complete mystery.

So back to the point... There's a song by Dennis Jernigan, "Simple is the Living," and in it there's a line: if there were no dryness, how could we love the rain. I think of that line so often when I hear people ask about why bad things happen to good people. I think of that line when I think about pain, and why God admits it into our lives (admits = lets it in). If all we experienced in life was the good, would we really know how good it was?

My Pawpaw was a farmer, and as a kid, I didn't understand why he liked rain so much. To me it was a bother, something that meant I couldn't play outside. "Rain, rain, go away..." and all that. I couldn't appreciate the rain because I had no idea what dryness was all about.

Where are you going to learn all about dryness? While wandering in the desert.

That doesn't make it any easier while you're wandering, but it does help a little. Knowing there's a purpose to it... That journey through the desert makes the rain so much sweeter when it comes. It INCREASES the faith of the one who has wandered and followed God even when it didn't make a whole lot of sense.

The song in my head right now is "When It's All I Can Do," by Truth from the album, One. The last line of the chorus says, "I need to turn to You, when it's all I can do." I'd argue that we need to turn to God long before it's all we can do, but the sad truth is that as long as there is something else we can do, turning to Him is the last thing we do. Thus, another trip through the desert so that all we can do is trust Him to lead us out.

Another Day with Mr. P

Yesterday I had the opportunity to spend a good portion of the day with Mr. P. (I've written about Mr. P before.) My girls are attending Vacation Bible School at my parents' church, and so I was kid-free (and will be for a few more days this week!). Mr. P still works at the school just up the street from my parents' house, so I went over there after I dropped off the girls at the church.

There are some people in this world with interesting things to say, no matter what's going on, no matter the topic. Mr. P is definitely one of those people. It's a happy thing to stay in touch with people who have had profound influence in one's life like that. A happy thing indeed.

Our conversations are frequently interrupted by students dropping in to check out summer horns, instrument repairmen dropping off fixed instruments, and the like. Since I am bugging him at work, I guess that's to be expected. We talked some inside baseball, now that I'm working in the district and have a much better understanding of the goings on, and many of the players with which he and I both interact. There's always more to uncover on those things. His manner with students has always been something I'd like to emulate. He knows so much more about the politics of the district than I do, having successfully navigated those waters for close to 25 years. I need so much advice on that side of things.

As an adult friend of a former teacher, I think some of the influence is going both ways. We talk about God quite a lot. That's what I'm most interested in sharing with him. I have had a burden for his soul for 20 years. He's had the opportunity to see me living my life, and whether I really believe the things I say I believe, for at least 15 years. (I'm not counting the years I was a younger student, since I don't remember talking to him about my faith before my later high school years.)

When I left yesterday, we scheduled another day, later this summer, for me to come back up to the school. I'm looking forward to it.

Dance Class

Tuesday was the girls' first dance class. They're in the same class (at my request), since they're both beginners, and also since Big Girl is somewhat delayed in her gross motor development. Big Girl came home declaring it to have been the best day of her life. Little Girl had a blast and can't wait to go back.

I just wish I could have been there.

This week is the last week for me to have school obligations until August. Tuesday was an all day workshop for me, so Hubby stayed home with the kids, and took them to dance class, their first ever.

At least I got to dress them up in their skirted leotards and put their hair up. I took pictures of each of them, and then of them together (which I need to post on facebook later).

There haven't been too many of these moments that sting since I've been back to work, and I'm grateful for that. But it really stinks that this one happened in the SUMMER! I'm supposed to be there for the summer!

I have "Amarillo By Morning" stuck in my head. I heard it as background music on a radio commercial as I was getting ready this morning.

Star Wars In Concert

"Star Wars In Concert" came to town, and I got to sing in the chorus!! It was so freakin' cool!! Anthony Daniels, more commonly known as C3PO, did narrations in between all the songs. I was ON STAGE with C3PO!!

Back when the original movies were made, George Lucas had basically no money, so he couldn't hire a choir to sing on the sound tracks. When it came to the newer set of movies, the whole franchise was a huge money-maker, so they sprung for the choir. That means now when they do this traveling show, they need a choir. But the touring company can't justify paying a choir to go with them everywhere, so they pull together choirs from the cities where they go. I think they've been stuck with some sub-par church choirs in some other places.

There was a matinée and an evening show. Before the afternoon show, Anthony Daniels came back stage and addressed the choir. He was right there, not 10 feet from me as he did his little spiel. "It's the story of a gold robot..." Ha ha... He's the only guy in all 6 Star Wars movies. I hadn't really thought about that before today. He talked about the choir being on the dark side. And we were. All dressed in black, and the songs we were singing for were very dark. We were Darth Choir. Anyway, before the second show, he had us all squish together and he posed with us for pictures. There were only 2 people between me and him. So very cool. (Hopefully the picture will be posted to facebook soon.) By the way, he looks basically like the picture I've posted here, only his hair is completely white, and he wasn't carrying around a C3PO head.

The choir sat right behind the most amazing percussion section I've ever seen. We were close enough to touch them. It was pretty tight quarters. The show opened with the orchestra playing the 20th Century Fox fanfare. It was so neat to be right there in the middle of it! And then after that, they played the main theme. So cool. Then Anthony Daniels talked (we couldn't understand it because it was so echo-y it was all garbled by the time the sound got to us). Then we sang. The opening of that song was just us, and then the orchestra came in, like they were accompanying us. They were the best orchestra I've ever sung with, hands down.

Since our songs were just in the first act, we got to go sit in the audience after intermission and watch the second act. It was so cool. In fact, we choristers kept saying that to each other the whole day. There was a whole lot of hurry up and wait, but it was so worth it. When will have this kind of opportunity again?

The songs we sang for were "Duel of the Fates," and "Battle of the Heroes," and of course, those are the songs in my head! My nerdy, totally geeking-out head is swimming with John Williams!

Summer Time

... and the living is easy....

Sorry. I had to do that.

I think the girls and I will go to the pool today for the first time this year. My last official work day was Tuesday, but we haven't had a chance to go to the pool yet. Wednesday I had a lot of laundry to do, and other little things around the house. Then Thursday I went back up to school to work with my new counterpart on cleaning the office and closet so we could (1) know what is where and get rid of trash, and (2) use the little space we have in the way that makes the most sense.

All of this work we're putting in is really getting me excited about next year. I feel like I'm a bigger part of the operation than I was last year. I would ask the former director about putting things away here or there, and he would throw up barriers and explain why it couldn't be done. The new director's attitude is to roll up his sleeves and make it work. It's rather refreshing. I feel empowered. I am a logical person. I like things to make sense. I'll work to make things make sense. It's nice to be working with someone who is willing to put in the work.

Speaking of making sense, I hadn't located the girls' swimsuits since they were put away after last summer. That had me a bit worried. When I went looking for them, I found them in the first place I looked. I put them in a place that made sense, so when it came time to find them again, there they were, easy to find. I really didn't expect it to be so easy. How often does that happen?

This summer I've started having Big Girl do more around the house. It's now her job to empty the dishwasher. She has to pull a chair over into the kitchen to reach the upper cabinets, but I think it's good for her. Plus it takes one more thing off my plate. I've had both girls putting away their own clean laundry for a few months now, and I'm really liking that. Little Girl can take hours to do that task sometimes, but that's her choice. So long as it gets done (and I don't have to do it!) I don't really care how LONG it takes her.

Well, it's time to start getting ready for the pool!

School's Out for Summer

The whole school-year is officially over. I can't believe it. Or maybe I can. I'm tired!!

Today was the last day for teachers. I had to turn in keys, unplug computers, get everything checked off as being completed... I had two check-out lists with 20+ items to be signed off by the various people on campus in charge of whatever had to be done before the people could sign off. It was complicated for me. There were things I wanted to do early, but people weren't letting me turn some things in last week when I was ready. *Shrug* It all worked out, and now it's over.

Tomorrow I may try to take the girls to the pool. I have a list of things that have to be done first...

This is going to be a BUSY summer!!

I'm currently watching "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson," so the song in my head is the theme song from that show. Craig Ferguson is one hilarious guy!! He basically does a whole hour that looks like improv comedy. So funny! He can make the most boring interviewee come off as interesting. Anyway, it's late, and time for bed!! G'night, folks!!

Last Day of School!

Teaching is a very cyclical profession. I'm glad for it. There are celebrations built into the calendar, and it really gives a very nice rhythm to a year. There is excitement and anticipation in the Fall for the school-year to come. And of course there is excitement and anticipation (relief, ecstasy!!) for the Summer when school is finally all over for one more year. There are fun things in between, of course, but nothing quite compares to the highs of the beginning and the end.

Today is the last day of school for the 2009-2010 school year in our district. I woke up about an hour ago, nearly tingling from excitement. How can I sleep when there are so many happy thoughts running circles in my head?

What's really funny to me is that the things I'm thinking about are not so much what I have to do to close out this year as much as the things I'm looking forward to for next year. A couple evenings ago I looked through my single-copy music library (which right now is a couple of hanging file boxes). That is such a nerdy thing to do, and I just love doing it. Anyway, I'm already picking out music for next year, and really getting excited about it. Having just one year under my belt is helping me so much in getting organized. I'm actually thinking of pieces I want to use for UIL (which isn't for 10 more months!!) so that I can start teaching them in the Fall. That's a risky move, but one I think I'd like to try. The risk is burn-out on the song. The up-side is that by the time contest rolls around, they can sing it in their sleep, because they've been working on it for so long.

Having these kinds of thoughts makes me feel like such a nerd. But you know what? That's OK. I know who I am, and I'm happy. My nerdiness is my secret advantage... OK, maybe not so secret. It's just one of the ways I look at where I am as a total God thing. God made me for this job. He is fulfilling many of my heart's desires in this job. God is good to me, and I can never forget it.

Little Mann Big Mann

I have the song, "Little Man Big Man," by Toad the Wet Sprocket, in my head, and have for about 4 days now.

The Interview that Wasn't

Yesterday I was sick. Sunday night, after that last blog post, I got a fever, and couldn't sleep for being so hot. I left the bed and went downstairs to sleep on the couch so that Hubby could rest. I got up Monday morning, started to head into the shower, and realized I was slightly nauseated. Any plans I had of pushing through the day quickly subsided to the realization that I needed to call in sick, no matter how easy a teaching day it would have been.

The real kicker is that I was scheduled to have a job interview at my giant choir school. The head director is leaving to open a new high school in our district, leaving his job open. Already knowing two thirds of the kids, the school in general, and not wanting to continue my split teaching position, I applied as soon as I learned of the opening. That was months ago. Then it came down to the day of the interview and I was sick.

The principal called me at home about the same time as my interview would have ended, probably after talking it over with the committee, I'm guessing, and asked me if I wanted to reschedule my interview or forgo the opportunity. I agreed to let them go ahead and hire who they wanted to hire without taking the time to interview me. I know it's important to my principal that the new hire get to meet the kids before summer. I also know that my one year of teaching middle school doesn't really stack up well against someone with more than that. She did pay me a wonderful compliment, telling me I'm an excellent teacher and that she thinks I'll be ready for my own program in a few years.

I had mixed emotions about it all yesterday. Sadness that the opportunity was gone. Relief that the huge choir program which has eaten the last 3 weeks of my life won't be resting fully on my shoulders. Anxiety of not knowing who was hired, and how well I'd be able to work with him/her...

Through this whole process, I've not been fully sure that I actually wanted the job. My part-time, split job is difficult, but it's good for me. I have more flexibility than I would teaching full time. While I sometimes complain that I work full time for less than full time pay, there are times that I actually do work a little less than full time. Having the freedom to say every now and then (like I did during TAKS testing week), "Well, since I'm not full time..." and having a little bit of leeway to come in late or leave early does come in handy.

I have had success this year with my giant 6th grade choir and my tiny choir. Next year I plan to have even more. And in a few years, after doing this a little longer, maybe my tiny choir will grow, or I'll go somewhere where I can be all at one school. My time will come, even if my interview yesterday didn't.

Smooth Sailing to Summer!!

I can hardly believe it. The gigantic hurdles that have been staring me down on my calendar are all done, and now we have just 2 weeks before the official end of the 2009-2010 school year and the start to SUMMER VACATION!

If the last 2 weeks didn't kill me, I'm starting to think I can do just about anything. The week of May 3, I had rehearsal every day after school followed by an evening event 4 out of 5 nights that week, followed by a trip to Schlitterbahn on Saturday. Then the week of May 10, there were rehearsals every day after school Monday thru Thursday until 7:00 PM, and then a huge show on Friday AND Saturday nights. We did the show twice because our performance venue isn't very big.

On top of all that, my girls took turns being sick. They both had a mysterious virus causing a fever and not much else. Little Girl had it for 5 days, and Big Girl had it for 4 days. Hubby and I took turns staying home with them. But even when I didn't go in to teach for the day, I still had to pass off the sick kid in the late afternoon and go to school for the rehearsals after school.

And now here it is, Sunday afternoon, after the two busiest weeks ever, and I'm still smiling. Maybe I'm just smiling because it's over. Or maybe I'm smiling because it all ended up being a huge success.

I took both of my choirs to the competition at Schlitterbahn, and my tiny choir won Best in Class for their division. That's just amazing!! My 6th grade choir was beat out by a powerhouse school from San Antonio. Oh well, we can't win them all.

The pop show we just finished last night was HUGE. We had all 200+ kids on stage together singing 3 of the numbers, and then each choir did a song, plus a whole bunch of solos and small group acts. The show was also a success, and there were many tears from the 8th graders who will be moving on next year.

Now there are only 2 weeks left of the school year. All that's left really is getting things wrapped up for this year, and auditioning the kids for next year. That will be low stress for me, although the students will be anxious about it.

I'm looking forward to next year in a big way. I'm looking forward to not being new. I've almost completed the cycle now, and I'm ready to know what I'm doing. It will be nice to have experience to guide my expectations.

I have one of the songs from last night's show in my head, "The Call," by Regina Spektor.

UIL

In the world of choir, band, and orchestra in our state, there's this competition that everybody does. It's not so much a competition between the schools, but with each ensemble's ability to get the best rating possible. There are two parts, the concert component where an ensemble performs prepared pieces on stage, and the sight-reading component, where the ensemble reads a new piece they've never seen before, all in front of a panel of judges. It's like the "super bowl" of choir, band or orchestra.

I have been to UIL before many times. I did band UIL for 6 years in a row, and choir UIL 3 times. But always as a performer.

Until this year.

It was my first time on the other side of the podium. Let me just say that it's a completely different ball game. It's not that my career was on the line, just my reputation. I had to trust 16 young performers, 13 of whom were either 6th graders, or not in my choir class, to make all the work we had done all year count for something. And yes, my reputation as a director was riding on it.

They came through for me in a big way. My tiny choir got 2's for their ratings, which is "EXCELLENT", and much better than most of the directors around here were expecting.

At my giant choir school, the three top groups all got straight 1's, which is "SUPERIOR", and the other choir got a 2 on stage, and 1 in sight-reading. 1 is the best.

You know what's funny... I don't remember what our ratings were all those years ago, the 9 times I went to UIL for band or choir. I hope the kids in my choir don't remember anything but making their director very, very proud. That's what counts!

Big Girl

In the 10 days after Big Girl lost the first front tooth, she lost 2 more teeth: the other front tooth and the other bottom one that was loose (not the one in the middle). And the Saturday after that, she got glasses! I hardly recognize this kid. She's transforming into a "big kid" right before my eyes. The next thing I know, she'll be interested in boys and asking for the car keys... I'm so not ready for that.

Happy Birthday, Little Girl!

My baby is 5 today. I can't believe it!

She's a wonderful little girl.

Big Girl's Tooth

So far it's our first day off from school for Spring Break, and things are happening! Big Girl lost her second baby tooth today. She was eating an ice cream cone at Chick-fil-a, and it just fell out in her ice cream. She didn't even realize it had happened. She just thought there was something hard in her ice cream. There was- it was her tooth!

On April 21st, 2009, she lost her first tooth in her sleep. She must have swallowed it, because we never found it. She remembers it being April 21st. I trust her memory on such things. She's so good with details like that.

The tooth next to the gap, looking quite crooked in this picture, is also pretty loose. It's looser than the one in the middle on the bottom. Yes, she has a middle tooth. The permanent teeth are already in, and that baby tooth's partner is the one she lost April 21st. That baby tooth that's left has migrated to the middle, and is hanging on much more strongly than I'd like. We'll see what the dentist says on April 13th. The tooth immediately to the left of the permanent teeth on bottom is also very loose. Hopefully it will fall out nicely like the one she lost today.

Big Girl has a song in her head from Rock Band 2, "Psycho Killer." It's weird to hear her walking around the house singing it. Of course she's put the song in my head too. What a strange song...

Song in My Head

There's just nothing in this world that will put a weird song in your head like playing Rock Band 2... There are so many songs in the game I would never listen to in a million years that I not only listen to, but SING, just playing the game.

Tonight I played drums on songs I didn't even know and didn't fail! This is an accomplishment for me, as I am horrible at playing drums. I can make my fingers work independently of each other when I play the piano, but I just can't make my limbs work independently to play drums (real drums, not Rock Band 2 drums) to save my life. My husband has taught himself to do play drums in the last 5 years, and is quite good, and I find that completely amazing. His ability to do 4 different things with his 4 limbs blows my mind.

Today, right now, I have "In Bloom," by Nirvana, in my head. It's my husband's favorite Nirvana song. Just now I had to sing it to him to find out what song it was. Even though we played Rock Band 2 tonight, we didn't play this song. I don't know why this song is rolling around in my brain. Weird.

Peeve alert! I just hate it when I get a snippet of a song in my head, and I don't know it well enough to even sing it to myself. I can only hum a little part of it... So annoying!!

Rant over. It's been way too long sing I wrote a post related to the actual point of this blog. Sorry about that. I can't say that I will get my act together, since I know I probably won't. It's Spring Break now, so my life is a little less complicated for a week.

Who am I kidding? In this 5 days I don't have to go to work, I already have plans for 4 out of 5 of those days, including shopping with a friend, a doctor's appointment for Big Girl, meeting with another special ed mom, and hosting Little Girl's birthday party... Even though it's unscheduled, I'll spend the other day "off" sewing at my mother's sewing machine. Time off? Not exactly. Oh, and I also need to do laundry at some point! Ha! I'm going to need a vacation from my vacation!

March, ALREADY?!?

Oh my, 2010 is rip-roaring away... It's the third month, and I''m just now getting used to writing 2010 on my attendance slips at school. Sheesh!

March in the world of middle school choir means that UIL competition is very close at hand. In the years since I was in school, our district has started a Pre-UIL contest so all the groups get a dry run going through the process, and for us, that's happening next Monday. Here it is Thursday, and our first big time contest is MONDAY! We got to go through everything today with our accompanist for the first time. The two accompanied pieces will go just fine. The a capella number will be a challenge. With only 17 singers, the likelihood of holding the pitch together is questionable. Oh well... I can't be married to the idea of scores. This is a valuable experience, and as long as my students do their best, I'll be pleased, and I'll lavish them all with praise.

On a personal level, I have school stuff coming up, keeping me away from my family, on Saturday, Monday, and Tuesday. Then the next week is Spring Break. PRAISE GOD for Spring Break!! It couldn't be coming at a better time! A whole week home with my kids! And on Tuesday of Spring Break, my baby turns FIVE YEARS OLD! That seems absolutely CRAZY!

Little Girl will be 5. She's already been registered for Kindergarten. She's reading little books with one-syllable words quite well. She's counting to 20 and beyond. She's so very ready for Kindergarten. Her teacher told me a story about Little Girl's recent social life. A little girl in another class, "Brittany", and she had been buddies since the very beginning of the school year until a few weeks ago, when "Brittany" told Little Girl she didn't want to be friends anymore. Little Girl was very upset, and it took a few days of recess before she finally went looking for someone else to play with. Then a couple of days ago, "Brittany" tried to play with Little Girl again. When Little Girl is upset, she does this thing where she puts her chin to her chest and just puts her head down. It looks so very pitiful. Anyway, that's what she did when "Brittany" wanted to play with her. Obviously her little heart was still hurt over the whole thing. Her teacher encouraged her to forgive and play with "Brittany" again, and after a little while that's what happened. It's so sad to hear of my baby being hurt by another little child. At the same time, I want her to learn the hard lessons of forgiveness too.

Big Girl is doing quite well these days. She's a snaggletooth with 4 loose teeth right now. The two front ones are all crooked, and I think other kids with teeth like that play with them more to speed up the process, but not Big Girl. If there's pain involved, she'll go out of her way to keep it from hurting. Even if that means no teeth pulling at all. When she lost her first one, she lost it in her sleep and swallowed it. The Tooth Fairy was gypped! At school, she's been interviewing 2nd grade teachers whenever she meets one. She'll ask them if they have a quiet class. Never mind that the kids in those classes now won't be the ones there when she's a 2nd grader! Socially Big Girl is still doing well. She has come to me talking about her best little friend at school, and that she's noticed that the other girl is constantly telling her what to do, and that she doesn't want to be bossed around all the time. This is a big deal in her social awakening. She's also learning to forgive her friend. We had a talk the other day about forgive our friends as many times as they mess up and to not count. I mentioned the old "seventy times seven" and so then she started talking about only giving 490 chances... my literal-minded baby! I hope she can learn that lesson without too much heartache.

When it comes to this stuff, I think I'm more protective of Big Girl than Little Girl. Little Girl is deep, and sensitive, but she's also tough. Big Girl will remember getting hurt in a different way than Little Girl. Big Girl will be more afraid much more easily than her sister... In a lot of ways it's good that I'm so busy with my job that I can't be a hovering mother keeping them from every hurt, because that's exactly what my "Mama Bear" heart wants to do! These little hurts and the lessons that come with them, are important in their social development. That's not to say that I want them out there getting stomped on... I just don't want their first heartaches to be huge life-altering things. Just like everything else in this life, everyone needs to start out with training wheels.

Hubby is doing pretty good. He's starting to get involved in playing with a worship band again. Unfortunately the band in question is not at the church we're currently attending. At least he's playing again. He's a much happier person when he's making music.

That kind-of reminds me of someone else in this house... ME!

And Big Girl too... It has been confirmed to us that she really does have perfect pitch. For anyone unfamiliar with that, it means that she can decipher the exact pitch of a sound. She has named random notes played on a variety of instruments in a number of ranges and timbres, and can name the pitch accurately. She's done this with a flute, violin, trombone, piano, and even a glass harp! It's amazing! She first started doing this with a video my mom had at hear house for the girls to watch. Since then we've been quizzing her every now and then, and she can do it. She also has an amazing sense of musicality in her. She "hears" her piano pieces with crescendos and ritardandos, and plays them that way. She's got to make music. It's just IN her.

That's all I've got for now... Well, I could go on for quite a while, but that's all I've got TIME to blog!

Maybe I'll blog about Little Girl's birthday present... She wants a super-suit with a cape and mask. I'm thinking I'll try to make that over Spring Break!

No time for blog

There is just no time for this thing anymore. As I type this, I have a load of laundry in the dryer, several ready to be folded (waiting for me while I am on my computer), a suitcase to pack, and a dishwasher to unload. Of course, this being a Wednesday, I went to work today. Tomorrow morning I am leaving my house to go out of town at 5:00 AM. The list of things to do for work includes keeping up with the choir blog... I can't hardly to THAT, and it's a work responsibility.

I probably don't have any readers anymore anyway... My friends are keeping up with me on Facebook, which is my main recreation lately. Oh well. Life goes on!

Whoa... Time is Flying By

Over a month without posting... I'm falling off of this thing. I guess that was bound to happen as I got busier. The December concerts, and then the holidays... Now that it's January, you'd think things would be settled down for a bit, right? Oh, no. Not so.

From the first day back in 2010 to my next performances, just under 5 weeks.

Nobody cares about that stuff. *shrug*

We had a great time over the holidays with our girls, making memories, starting new traditions, hanging out with extended family... It was fun. And it went by so fast. We all got just a little bit too accustomed to sleeping in, and then it was time to be up at 6 AM all over again.

What hit me in the week between Christmas and New Year's was that I kind of missed work. I like my family, and I like being able to relax, but I missed making music, and looked forward to the week after New Year's when we'd be going back to "normal".

I would like to update my readers on how things went at the December concerts. The concert for the giant choir school was awesome. We even had a CD made of the performance, and my choir sounded great. The dynamic contrast could have been better, but that's almost always true, especially for young choirs. At the tiny choir school, I had willing students sing solos, and the whole choir sang four things together. It was a tremendous success. It surprised me who all wanted to do solos. It was a nice change of pace to have the format so different from the last choir concert we did in October. I did get a little in trouble for scheduling that concert the night before finals started, but it was the only date available on the calendar, so they let me keep it.

That was also my mother's birthday. On her birthday, she came over and helped me set up for the concert, played for almost all the solos, and the choir songs, and then helped me tear down the decorations and put away all the chairs. She's amazing. I have the best mom in the world. No offense to any other moms out there. She the best one for me, and that's not debatable!

So here we are, just finished with the first two weeks of school in 2010, plugging away. Next post may be Spring Break! I'll try to do better than that, but I can't promise anything!