I Survived

I just got back from the dentist's office. I never saw the dentist, since I was just there for a cleaning. But really, I think a cleaning is worse than a dental exam anyway. The scraping and prodding lasts much longer.

Little Girl was with me, and she was delightful. Really. She did great! I made her a sack lunch so she could spend some of her wait-time eating. She's got to be the slowest eater on the planet, so I knew that would really take her a while, and it did. She sat on the floor next to the chair in the corner, and happily ate her sandwich and animal crackers. I also packed her a straw-style sippy cup of lemonade. After her meal, she turned to the bag of goodies I brought for her enjoyment. She played with the pencils and crayons like little action figures, and never colored in the coloring book, but whatever. She was happy and not making problems for me or the hygienist working on me.

I was very tense. That's understating it a bit. I was really a mess. As the scraping ensued, I actually shed a few tears. I had my iPod with me, and I was listening to Cake, since that was on my mind anyway. I turned it up (at the hygienist's suggestion) so I couldn't hear the scraping anymore, and was able to relax a bit, although I never really relaxed. I ratcheted down to about a 6 from an 8 on my 10-point hypothetical anxiety scale.

As I reclined there in that evil chair, I tried to wrap my brain about what makes that experience so tortuous for me. Besides just the sound and feeling of the scraping, it seems like she was all over my mouth in an unpredictable way, not going methodically from one tooth to the next, but jumping around with that evil scraper. I never knew where she was going to torture me next. Also, I don't like not being able to talk. I like talking. I like to think that I'm generally good at it. Having someone's hands in my mouth, and being rendered involuntarily speechless is really not something I enjoy. I also really hate it when the rotating polisher touches my gums. That feels horrible. I cringed and winced every time she did that, accidentally (yeah, sure). And the paste they polish with is very gritty, and I don't care what they try to do to it to make it not taste horrible, it still does. And the taste lingers. Bleh! At least when you get your teeth cleaned as an adult they don't make you do that disgusting flouride rinse.

After the polishing, and flossing, I started getting happy, thinking we were done. But then the lady pulled out the instrument of torture once more for some last minute scraping. Uncool. Very uncool.

When it was all over, and I in my car with my angelic 3.5 year old, we went to Sonic where I got her a smoothie, and got me lunch. I deserved a fatty fast food lunch after enduring all that scraping. And it made me a little happy to think about undoing some of that cleaning that had just taken place. Yeah, I have a spiteful side.

My teeth do feel good, even after my burger and tots.

One of the last songs I heard while in the chair was Cake's cover of "I Will Survive." Ironic, huh? (Warning: They use a dirty word instead of saying "stupid lock", but it's censored in the video.)