Parenting Isn't Easy

I've taken a step back from my blog over the last couple of days. Things happened from which I needed to detach myself emotionally before I could share here.

Sunday was one of the hardest days I've had with my Little Girl. Her refusals started first thing, which set the tone for the rest of the morning and into the afternoon. I won't repeat the details. Just know that it got so bad that I was in tears at my parents house after church. She had a good long nap that afternoon (without eating lunch first, by her own choice), and woke up as the sweetest little thing. And she was sweet yesterday, and so far today (it's not much past 8:00 AM, but still, it was already bad by this time on Sunday). In fact, she stood by me just a second ago flashing a very cute, teethy grin.

She's had relative success with the potty of late. She still doesn't tell me when she needs to go, but she's gone day after day with no more than one accident. That's not too bad for a novice. I'm still convinced that her lateness in potty-training is related to the attitude junk she's been pulling. A kid who can stay dry overnight is more than capable of doing the rest. Seems like that's the hardest part, and she's got it down.

Admittedly, I've been stressing out about Little Girl. If she's this difficult to deal with now, what will she be like at 13? At 16? You get the idea. The consequences now are no big deal, but later on, it's a different ball game. I firmly believe that the battle for later must be won here and now. To give up now is to fail her. I love her so very much. It pains me to think that she will have to learn all of life's lessons the hard way. Unless things change, that's the road she's choosing. My heart is burdened for her. Pray for me, and pray for her.

And this all came about as Hubby was leaving again for another week of working out of town. Not only am I fighting this very important, very tiring battle full time (she's the kid that's home with me all the time), there's no one coming home to help me in the evenings. I need that pep-talk at the end of the day to say that I'm doing it right. I need encouragement to fight another day.

But like I said, she's been super sweet for the better part of 2 days now. I know how good it can be, how cooperative she can be. She's cute, and snuggly, and oh so sweet. I want to enjoy it, but part of me is waiting for her to change back into Mr. Hyde (or Dr. Jeckyl, whichever one was the bad one).

This parenting thing isn't easy.

To make things even more fun, when Little Girl throws a screaming, crying fit, it sets off her autistic sister who can't handle the sounds of screaming and crying. (We need to get some of those things that the guys wear who work at the airport, directing the planes to the gate. I think they have something like that for her to wear at school.) I just feel bad for Big Girl to suffer so when her little sister is just being rebellious. I guess that happens in all families to some degree, when one child's choices impact another child. When Mom has to "pull this car over right now," the innocent child doesn't get to keep on going. The car stops for everyone.

The song in my head this morning, is "Fat," by Weird Al. Yes, I'm feeling fat, and that's what started this song in my head today. "When I sit around the house, I really sit around the house..."