Busy, But Good

In my last post about obligations, I did say that there are optional obligations, and when those things that I signed up for start to overwhelm me, I have no right to complain because I signed up for the commitment. Well, just so you know, I'm not going to complain. I'm just gonna explain why blogging has been such a low priority for me this week.

Today is day 4 out of 5 days in a row with somewhere I have to be in the evening. Two of those (Tues & Thurs) were choir rehearsals from 7:00 PM- 10:00 PM, which means that I'm not worth much the day after. Wednesday night was the usual church stuff, but we stayed a little later than usual because I'm singing this week. Then tonight and tomorrow night are choir concerts. I am actually looking forward to these concerts, but they don't start until 8:00 PM. Maybe I'm just getting old or something, but that feels late, just typing it even, to me.

On a wonderful note, I have been doing a lot of soul-searching about my obligations, and the things that are beneficial for me to do, but which are not obligations. These things include prayer and on-my-own bible study. I usually fall into "checking off a box" mentality when I get into a groove with doing that sort of thing, and this time, since my recent realization of NOT being obligated to it, I am on guard against legalism creeping in. I don't earn a gold star from God for doing it. I don't get to work up to "super-saint status" or anything. That kind of thinking is what the enemy wants. God doesn't have anything BUT favorite children. He loves me. He loves that I want to know him, but it doesn't make Him love me more. None of this is new revelation. It's just refreshed revelation for me right now. There's plenty of scripture about no longer being enslaved to sin, and God's love being unconditional and all that.

With the focus of the retreat last weekend being Psalm 37:4, I've been doing a concordance study on music, a big-time desire of my heart. Every time the word music (or musicians) shows up in the bible, I'm looking up the passage and studying it. It's rather interesting. I can't say that I've learned anything new from it, but God has confirmed things I already knew, and made them fresh again. I think next I'll study the songs in the bible. (Now I'm feeling pressure for putting that out there... I didn't say that I'd do it for sure. I just said I think... that means maybe. I may go another direction after this, I don't know... Stop looking at me like that!)

I think by the grace of God alone I have been going through this incredibly busy week, which included another ARD for Big Girl, laundry day, exercising twice, and a particular challenging situation with Little Girl (including another poop story- I'll get to it in another post), without feeling overwhelmed. Yes, it's been busy. But I've still cooked dinner 3 times this week, I haven't been snapping at the children, I have taken time out to spend with an old friend (she's not old- we've been friends for a LONG time), and it's been a good week. I don't take credit for this, because I know in my own power, I would have ordering pizza, and yelling like a crazed woman, and late for the ARD, and falling through on my commitments to people, and I'd be in a rotten, funky, fleshy mood to top it all off. I've been there before. I know what it's like. This is different, and I thank God for it.

I've got bits and pieces of Pinkham's Wedding Cantata in my head. It's on the program tonight. It's 4 settings of excerpts from Song of Solomon. Good stuff. Good, high brow stuff.