Obligations

In the last week or so, I've been thinking a lot about the things and/or people to which/whom I am obligated. My initial thoughts were centered around a friendship in which I felt obligation being forced on me. I bucked under that pressure, and I think it was appropriate.

The people I am obligated to are family. The nature of friendship is that it is a completely voluntary arrangement. A marriage begins with choice, and from the moment vows are spoken, obligation takes over, although it is a welcome and foreseen obligation. We are always obligated to honor our parents as it says in the "Big Ten", and then again in Ephesians 6:1. (I had to memorize that one as a little kid, and I was asked to repeat it nearly every time I disobeyed growing up. I said it a lot.) Children are kind of a no-brainer obligation. Not that fulfilling that obligation is a no-brainer, just that it's an easy given that parents are forever tied to their kids, and obliged to take care of them until they can take care of themselves. And even then I think parents, good ones anyway, remain obligated to their kids' well-being, as mentors and even friends, forever.

There are numerous other things to which I have found myself obligated. Until the end of this school year, I'm obligated to the duties of homeroom mom for Big Girl's class. I am commited to participating in the choir of which I am a member. Those are both things I volunteered for, so if I am frustrated or overwhelmed with the obligation, it's my own fault. (I'm not complaining here, I'm just thinking it all through, and bringing my reader along.)

This weekend at the ladies' retreat I attended, the theme verse was Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." This is a conditional promise. God does not say that you get the desires of your heart just because you want them badly enough, or because you're good enough, or because you work hard enough. You get them when you delight in Him. And then the key to whole thing is that the desires of your heart morph into complete harmony with the desires of His heart as you delight in Him more and more. And THEN He gives you the desires of your heart which are the same as the desires of His heart. I've known this concept for a long time, but I think I've really struggled with believing it.

I guess I've kind of always thought in the very back of my head that God's desires for me were going to be less than my desires, or that I'd be settling with whatever He has for me. That thinking of mine is complete rubbish, I know. But it explains my behavior, why I'd hear the truth of Psalm 37:4 with my eyes rolling.

I've been looking at the delighting in the Lord part as an obligation. But the truth is that it is not an obligation. God doesn't force me to sit as His feet and seek His face. He doesn't force me to take the time to sit and listen to His heart, or pour over His word for a fresh nugget of truth. There is no obligation there. It's a completely free choice. Not doing it does have a consequence, but God will still love me, and I'll still go to heaven.

The truth is that by NOT doing what I know I should do, I am forfeiting the fulfillment of the desires of my heart. I am choosing to settle for less than the utmost best thing. God wants to give me what I want, but He won't give it to a disobedient child who isn't ready for it.

This morning at church, our worship leader said something that really jumped out an hit me over the head (figuratively, of course). He said a little prayer during the instrumental break in the song, "I Am Free". He thanked God that we are no longer under obligation to the sinful nature. He actually said the word obligation. It stuck out to me like nothing else could in that moment.

I have been acting as though I am obligated to my sin nature, when I am not at all. I have thought of following God as an obligation, when it isn't one either. It's my choice.

Oh Father God, please forgive me. Thank you for this refreshing revelation. Please let me live like I understand what you've shown me in the last few days.